November 15, 2010

Stay-home Mom's Ups and Downs

I was thinking of my previous posts about my life as a stay-home mom - how glad I was to choose to be a stay-home mom. But in most of my posts, I forgot to mention the downside. Not that I don't like it anymore. It's just that it's true - everything in life has its downside. And I'm going to try to lay a couple of them out here based on just my "almost-17-months" experience of being a stay-home mom. It's just almost 17 months, so I haven't really experienced as much as other stay-home mothers.

Some of the Ups:

*  You get to see your child everyday and actually be there when they learn something new - from observing your face, to trying to reach for that mobile. From crawling to walking - to running. From babbling to saying, "Wow!" or "Uh-oh." From smiling to laughing. EVERYTHING!

* If you are not working at home, you get to spend more time with your baby and your home - and your husband. 

* You are confident that your baby is safe - with you. Sure, they'll fall, they'll get scratches. But what I'm saying is that you're confident nobody else is hurting them - not somebody you hired to babysit, for example.

* Whether you're working at home or not, staying at home saves you money from fees like daycare, babysitter, nanny (unless you have 7 kids and you decided to have a nanny to help you).

Some of the Downs:

* YOU can't get sick. If you catch a cold, or a fever, you're still going to have to take care of the baby whether you like it or not. Especially if you have no family or friends close by. There are several times in my 17 months of stay-home mom life that I wasn't really feeling well. I just wanted to lie down in bed all day - but I can't. I have a little one to take care of.

* It gets lonely every now and then. Sure, it's fun to spend time with my son - it really is. I love playing with him and hearing him laugh. It makes me happy. But sometimes, during the day when my husband is at work, I'm looking for somebody to talk to - like a close 'girl' friend or something. Just talk about anything. I just do this with my son for now. It's fun, too.

Last night, something woke me up in the middle of the night. I had this terrible pain in my abdomen. It was like a menstrual cramp kind of pain but it was somewhere on the left side (it was more on the left side even though it was throughout the whole part of my abdomen and my lower back), and it was more intense than a menstrual cramp - even much more intense than what I felt during my labor last year BEFORE I got the epidural (no, I'm not pregnant right now). I seriously wanted to scream and cry. I didn't know what it was. I thought the time was already 5:00 am, but it was just 1:15 am. I thought, "Oh my gosh! Kill me now!!!" It was that painful. I took some tylenol and waited for about an hour (twisting, turning, standing, crouching, etc) for it to go away but it won't. I finally was able to find a nice, comfortable position (lying on my back with 3 layers of pillows beneath my head, plus my right leg on top of my husband's legs) and I fell asleep. I'm trying as much as I can right now not to feel that pain again, because I need to take care of my son (he's still sleeping and I am still feeling okay - thus this post is being written). Hopefully I can get through the day.


  1. I wonder if it's your appendix(even though appendix is on your right, the pain can be throughout your whole abdomen)? I hope it goes away, but maybe you need to have that checked out if it doesn't.

    Another plus of being a SAHM is that your children pick up YOUR values, and learn lessons from YOU:)

    Hope you feel better SOON!

  2. Pain in lower left abdomen is not fun. It could be a lot of things, and if it is worse than your labor pains you should see a doctor. It could be something worse than a tummy ache : )

  3. I totally agree with Ashil make sure to see a doctor.That is quite scary.

    And I totally agree with the downs of being a stay home mom. It's not so glam and sometimes it's even harder.But then when we look back I bet we'll say Oh men I can't believe I just passed that experience.And then we'll learn and grow from it.

  4. Have you seen the doctor for your appendix?.. You are truly blessed for being a stay-home mom. I believe in all of what you and Sue said. Cheers for the stay-home mom!


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