38 Weeks

The crib is set up. The pack-n-play, too (because our room is small to put the crib in there, so her crib stayed in her room while her pack-n-play is going to be in our room while she's sleeping with us). I've taken the diaper box out (old diapers from J, they don't expire you know) and stored it in her room along with my personal nursing things. I've washed her "just enough" amount of clothes (we still need to get her some winter clothes, she only has mostly onesies and footed sleepers haha!), folded and tucked them neatly away.

My planner has been filled since last Sunday to the day before she's due to come - things I need to do/clean/prepare (freezer meals, anyone?) before the big day - if she does wait 'til that day. The hospital bag lay open on her crib, waiting to be filled with last items like toiletries or cellphone chargers. The rechargeable batteries have been collected and are now being charged for future repeated use (crib mobile, swing, vibrating chair, toys, etc).

I look at my planner and see that on a particular day, I have to clean this and that because it will probably be months before I get to do it again (*cough* the oven, for example, which was, and still is, really dirty when we moved in). "Ooh, maybe sterilize her bottles on this day so it's not so far away from her due date." Clean the bathrooms, clean the shower, clean the windows and glass doors (also dirty when we moved in, like it hasn't been cleaned for more than a year), clean the vents (also dirty when we moved in. They can actually catch on fire easily with the amount of dust stuck in them), clean the floors, etc. I am nesting, my heart and spirit are willing but my body isn't.

I am big. Well, at least my belly is big. I can't find a comfortable position anymore. Not sitting up, not lying down, and definitely not standing up. I can't count how many times I almost fell trying to go downstairs just because I can no longer see where I'm stepping at, and most of the time it's when I walked my son to school.

Yes, walk. I hate it now because it hurts me. Well at least I hate it FOR NOW while I'm in pain doing it, but I like the short moment it gives me each way to be with my boys and not anything else. Plus it's like a forced kind of exercise before I give birth, walking to and from school five days a week.

Sleeping is a pain. Literally. I've been having a lot of Braxton Hicks lately and aside from having to wake up every 30 minutes or so to go pee, sometimes the Braxton Hicks keep me up an hour or two a stretch on the nights that it visits me. I just look at it this way: I can go back to sleep right away. With a newborn, that's not the case. Especially if you're the one with the food supply. So for now I'll take the pains and discomfort and cherish how I actually have it easier right now.

It's kind of nerve-wracking thinking that next weekend is my last weekend with just our two boys and then our lives will change again. She'll join our small family and my routine will be thrown off. To be honest, I have mixed feelings at the moment. Knowing how I've been with my first two children, I am scared that I will be the same when she comes. You know, the baby blues. Emotional roller coaster, constant sickness (I think it was mastitis though I was never diagnosed because I never went to see a doctor each time I got sick), loneliness, fatigue, etc. The whole package.

And J. I wish I could spend more time alone with him now that his older brother is in school. I've enjoyed the short time (a month by the time I give birth) of alone time I've had with him - something we never really had since he was born. It made our bond stronger as a mother and son. I got to know him more. I wish I could do more for him - take him to places, run with him (I can't), play more "boyish" stuff with him, read comfortably with him, explore this new State we live in with him - now that we have the chance to be together, just me and him. But I can't. I am limited to my limited amount of daily strength that I need to share with all of my boys/man. At times I want this just-me-and-J-time to last longer - a couple of months more or so with me in full capacity to do a lot more than I can now with him - to make up for the three years that he hardly had any chance to spend one-on-one time with me. But that's not possible. How am I ever going to give him that alone-time attention again that he just barely got? I think in some ways I'm not ready to give it up just yet.

But despite all these fears and anxiety, along with the unknown of raising a daughter (it really feels like being a first-time parent all over again), I am ecstatic to meet our little girl. I am excited to hold her, to smell her, to let her share her innocence with me, with her Dad, and her brothers. I am excited to let her feel she is loved, and to feel her love as well. So many good things in store as she grows up with her brothers. What a blessing she is to us. C is very excited to meet her. He gives my belly kisses and hugs more than five times a day, and whispers, "I love you baby sister!" Lately he's been pretending that she answers him with, "I love you too!" J is now slightly aware he's about to have a baby sister, but still kind of oblivious to it. I'm surely gonna miss him a lot when she comes, the same way I missed C when he came. But I am ready and excited to welcome our daughter into this world.

I'm Five

Hello there!

I turned five today!

I will be attending Kindergarten soon! My favorite things are still race cars. I love learning new things. I love to write and read. I love drawing as well as coloring. I like to show my little brother how to write, and trace numbers and drawings. I love to dance, especially dancing Jabbawockeez numbers. I love ice cream, raisins, waffles, peanut butter, bagel and cream cheese, spaghetti, candy, chocolate, peanuts, crackers, dried mangoes, and anything that is not GREEN. I still love to read. I love saying my prayers before eating and before going to bed. I love watching movies, especially animated movies like Legos.

When I grow up, I want to be a race car driver. My parents say I'm a good boy and I'm easy to take care of. Sometimes I still throw a tantrum at them but most of the time I obey what they say. I was told I'm a good helper, too.

I am excited to meet our little sister someday. And I am looking forward to celebrating my 5th birthday today!

Love, C

Growing Pains

Well, it's been another while since my last update.

C has graduated from preschool. He loved preschool and he loved making friends there. He's turning five soon and I'm a little sad that we aren't throwing him a party with his friends and/or cousins over. It'll be just another simple birthday celebration. Heck I don't even know yet what to do for him on that day, but I'm sure we'll have fun.

J is still his silly, will-powered self. He's beginning to construct sentences better. It's cute and all, but it also kind of makes me sad that my baby is indeed growing up. He's getting better in using the toilet to do his business, even with going #2. Potty training him this time around had been so much easier for all of us than the first time we tried.

My husband applied for an assistant controller a few weeks back, got through the interviews (phone and in-person), and now we are looking at many weekends ahead full of traveling because he got the job. We'll be traveling for house hunting where we'll be moving, and traveling to see family and friends before we leave our close proximity to them. It's going to be a busy month and maybe even after we've settled down. More on this on a different post later.

And me, still growing. I'm 24 weeks pregnant as of today. My little princess is living up to her reputation as the princess of this household. She has been harder to carry than her two older brothers. I always find myself exhausted - a lot more exhausted than I was in my previous pregnancies - and in pain. Just pain everywhere. Sometimes it even hurts my everything when I walk, or when I roll over in bed. I don't know if that has something to do with placenta previa but most days I just want to lie down in bed and have a maid clean the house, or a babysitter to take care of our kids, or a chef to make us good food. I haven't been making dinner a lot because of it. I mean I've always been like that, but I'm worse now. Just glad that my husband understands and doesn't complain.

I'm a little upset that my doctor's appointment has been moved to 2 more weeks (that's 6 weeks since the last time I met her, 4 days before we leave Vegas) because she suddenly isn't available at the time they gave me and now they had to push me over to some random date to accommodate HER needs, not mine. So there's a possibility that I won't get that ultrasound before our move. We'd have to find a new doctor first which will probably take by August before I get another ultrasound. I really need that ultrasound. I just ... all I want to know is if everything's better and if so, then I can have some things, even just ONE thing, back to normal.

I think the reason why I'm in this blog post right now is not just to merely update it, but because my pathetic, insignificant disappointments are building up and I need to let some, if not all, of my steam out. So, thank you, for bearing with me. I appreciate it. :)

New Stage of Stay-at-home Mommyhood

My mundane life bubble was popped in the 3rd of September when C started going to preschool. I am slowly getting my footing back again, and have constantly caught up with my journal. Not more than a week delayed (right now I am 3 days behind, haha!). I guess it's about time for another blog post.

See, I can't sleep right now that's why I'm here. I've been so accustomed to having my super handsome husband with me that when he's away for business trips, I find it hard to fall asleep.

Anyway, as of late my husband and I entered a new stage of parenthood. A new stage for me as a stay-home mom. I will not say "full-time" mom from now on, because every parent is a "full-time" parent, working or not. Our new stage is having a preschooler.

Sure, we did Joy School last year but it didn't feel like we had a kid in school because I took turns with the other moms teaching the children. This year, though, is school in a home-based preschool roughly about 9 miles away (10-min drive) from our home. The ratio is 4 children to 1 teacher. There's only one teacher, Miss S. (For my kid's and his classmate's protection, I will not mention the name of the school here).

Years ago, we decided not to send our kids to school until they turn 6 y.o. The decision was based on the book Jesse read about boys and school/academic stuff or something like that. I'm gonna have to ask him the title when he gets back.

Last year we signed up for Joy School because the moms went to the same Church with us, and C knew their children too. So basically it was all about him gaining more friends because in all honesty he didn't have much before he went to Joy School. For me it was more like a play date with learning.

C loves learning and meeting new people. We enrolled him to preschool for those same reasons, just supporting what he likes. And he is loving it. I didn't cry the first day of class because I knew he was going to have fun and I like it when he's happy and having fun with other people.

First day of Preschool.

Sometimes I still can't believe that we are now on that stage where we have a kid in school. That it has indeed started. It made me feel a lot more like a parent, especially when I started buying his school supplies. Or whenever he insists on trying to do things by himself. My baby, my sweet baby, is indeed growing up and there's nothing I can do to freeze time. All I can do is seize the moment and live in the now, encourage them and support them, do things with them, and be thankful for every moment I get to spend with them. Seeing them happy makes me happy. I am grateful that Heavenly Father allowed me this opportunity to raise His beloved children with my husband. I am filled with so much joy along with some stress here and there (haha!) on a daily basis & I will never trade it for anything. We love them, I love my family, and I love being a mother.

 

{C's Daily Prayers} - Despicable Me 2 and Lightning and Thunder

PRAYER #1:

C: "... I am thankful to watch the movie, Despicable Me, and that the minions aren't purple anymore ..."

You can tell he's not a big fan of the purple minions. They were pretty scary.

Two nights ago, C and I went out on a mommy-son date. We watched Despicable Me 2 (his ticket was free because we bought Despicable Me DVD from Amazon.com, and it came with a free movie ticket to see Despicable Me 2) in the theater after sharing a single plate of Panda Express dinner of fried rice/chow mein, and broccoli and beef entree (he doesn't eat much); and a tall cup of Tropical Smoothie chocolate shake.

He sat on my lap the entire time, which I liked. I like cuddling with my boys. The movie was hilarious. I enjoyed it even though there was a huge head blocking my view. He loved it, too.

SPOILER ALERT!!!

If you haven't seen Despicable Me 2 and don't want to see any spoilers, skip to his prayer about the lightning and thunder below. LOL! But if you have seen it or you don't mind spoilers, the minions were turned into monsters - basically eating machines, as in they eat ANYTHING - and they were purple. At the end, of course, Gru's scientist friend, Dr. Nefario, came up with the antidote and turned the minions to friendly yellow moving Twinkies again. YAY!

PRAYER #2:

C: "... I am thankful for lightning and thunder. I am thankful to see grandma again ..."

There's been a sudden thunderstorm tonight. You can see the lightning from the window blinds, and some of the thunder claps were loud and strong enough to shake our house. We were describing it to both C and J. C was taking it well, thinking "thunder" is "Kachicka!!!" and "lightning" is "Ka-Chow!!!" (Chick Hicks and Lightning McQueen in Cars movie). J, on the other hand, was a little bit scared of the thunder claps that he held on to me pretty tight.

"Vectoooooor"

Monday night after dinner, my husband helped C read the scriptures he is going to share in Primary class this Sunday. Last time he was asked to give a short talk and he cried the whole time while his Daddy read it for him instead. So this time around, we want to try a better head start. I thought of letting him speak with our karaoke microphones to make it a bit more real (and I was the audience). Of course C loved that idea.

Afterwards, C and J took turns speaking through the mic. Even while I was singing some karaoke songs. They liked to bug me, "my turn, my turn!!!" ("ah-shurn" for J). C would always say something random. J only has one word: "Vector!!!!" They liked the mic so much that I was finally done singing (bathroom style), I let them go for it, taking turns:

C: "Hello, I am C___. And this is my truck and it flies. RAAAAH"
J: "Veeectoooooor!!!!!"
C: "Hello, this is C___ again and that is J_____. He loves trains and I do, too, 60 miles blah blah blah."
J: "Veeectoooooor!!!!!"
C: "I am C_____ and that is Lightning McQueen and he goes around the track and 90 miles."
J: "Veeectoooooor!!!!!"

I loved watching them and it was funny (funnier than how I could tell it here). I don't know what was the deal with Vector anyway. They started saying it a few days after we watched Despicable Me.

J says it the exact same way Vector said his name in the movie (clip below, timestamp 0:30). For those of you who don't know, this is Vector:

Kids do copy things pretty fast, don't they. What are the things your kids copy from the kiddie movies that they've watched?

{C's Daily Prayers} - Shooting Hands

We recently purchased a Lego Star Wars III The Clone Wars Playstation 3 video game (one of the two videogames we own, the other one is LittleBigPlanet Karting) and C loved seeing the spacecrafts and light sabers and the clones.

Today, I thought I should try watching something else with the boys other than cartoon movies. So I put in Star Wars Episode 1. It was so cool when he knew what we were watching, thanks to the kid-friendly video game. If you know my eldest, he loves movies with racing and action. He loved watching the pod race scene. "Oh no he crashed, Daddy!!!" It was so intense for him, he couldn't take his eyes off. He also pretended his hand was one of those clones' guns. Sometimes he pretended it was a light saber.

Tonight, he volunteered to say the blessing for our dinner, "I am thankful for this food. I am thankful to watch Star Wars. I am thankful to have my hand as a shooting gun. I am thankful to play with [J]. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen."

He never fails to mention that he's thankful to play with J. But his comment about his pretend play with his hand made me giggle a little bit during the prayer.

 

{C's Daily Prayers} - Despicable Me

Thank you for those who read and commented my previous post. Comments make me smile! ^^

I have a journal meant specifically to write down the funny things or sweet things that my kids said. But I keep forgetting to write in it, or sometimes I get caught up with something else. So I thought of making another category/label in this blog called "C's Daily Prayers" and maybe write those prayers down.

C has started saying his prayers (with our help) when he was about two years old. He started saying it on his own by around three-ish. I always meant to write them down in my "things-they-said" journal because they're just the simplest yet sweetest and most expressive prayers ever, and I want to keep those memories. Children are such sweet spirits!

Well, he recently celebrated his 4th birthday (had a great morning with his grandma and his cousins. We were gonna go to Cars Land as a surprise for him but plans changed and we spent his birthday driving home from CA). We let him pick some toys at Target with his grandma's birthday money gift on our way home (she also gave him a Cars puzzles and book gift). Of course, he picked Cars and he was delighted to have new ones. By "new," I mean race cars other than Lightning McQueen and Finn McMissile (spelling?). It's been 4 days since then.

Tonight, after Daddy brushed his teeth, he walked into their room and sat down beside me and just started saying his prayer. I was not quite ready for my thoughts were flying everywhere before he came in, but I immediately wrapped my arms around him as he said..

"Dear Heavenly Father, I am thankful to watch spickable me [Despicable Me]. I am thankful to play with [J]. I am thankful to play with my cousins and friends, [then names two of his cousins]. I am thankful to go to the store and buy new race cars [that one four days ago]. I am thankful for eating brownie [it has blueberries and carrots which they don't know]. I am thankful for Mommy and Daddy. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen."

So sweet. I love hearing him pray. So honest.

P.S. J also prays with us. He knows when it's time. Sometimes he'll keep wriggling before we start it but once we start it, he'll stop. Recently though it's been more obvious. He'd fold his arms, like those cute pictures of little kids folding their arms during prayer. He won't talk, but he'll have his eyes open looking at everyone [okay, mom was peeking at him.. haha!]. And just this week he started saying, "Amen" after every prayer. So cute!

 

The Introvert ME

I haven't blogged in a long time, obviously. Honestly it's because I lost the interest and got lazy because nobody else was reading but my sisters-in-law and my mother-in-law. But considering that my kids still take their naps, the 1.5 - 2.5 hrs. that I am alone was quite long enough to not do anything else but read books and/or write in my journal. So I've decided to try to at least get back into blogging bit by bit.

Well, I got bored [seems like I always am] of my old blog title "Mommy Musings" so I changed it into something more fitting for my personality. Anyone who knew me REALLY well will agree that I am an introvert.

Growing up, I always preferred being with a small circle of friends rather than a huge crowd of acquaintances. I was never fond of going to youth activities in our Church because trying to strike conversations with other youths and socializing was never my favorite thing to do. If it was a youth dance, I was basically a wallflower... all. night. long.

I overcame a bit of my introversion when I left my family and my country to take up my undergraduate degree in BYU-Hawai'i. I was in a strange land with a totally different culture. And though I knew English well enough, I knew I wouldn't last long if I kept on being an introvert. So I made friends. And friends I had but not to the point that all of them were my close friends (unlike someone I know from there, too! She's a sweetheart!) I had a handful of really close friends prior to being a "Mrs." - 3 of them exactly. The rest I knew because it was a small University and you almost know everyone there. And when the 3 close friends left and moved on (one got married, the other two went on their missions for our Church), I struggled to find new close friends. So I just remained FRIENDS with everybody else I knew. It didn't matter that I didn't hung-out with them like the way I did with my three friends. It was good enough for me that I was not keeping to myself so much anymore.

But an event in my life happened and ... I lost that trust in friends. So now I am back to my introversion again. And ever since we had our firstborn, it seemed like I really just preferred being by myself and with our boys rather than arranging a playdate and trying to be sociable, or trying to make friends all over again. I was happy in my own thoughts most of the time, and just playing with my kids. Heck, even my husband and I don't talk much after the kids go down to bed because I don't talk even though my brain was exploding with ideas of things to do, or to talk about, or just random thoughts [and he likes my silence sometimes so he could "watch" some baseball games in peace.. haha!]

I am not saying I am a snob. No. I don't even mean to be one if I come across as such. I like talking to people. But almost ALWAYS I will not be the first one to strike a conversation. It's like a stage freight for me. Sometimes I could do it, sometimes I couldn't. I realized that more when I became a mother. I am so quiet you could almost say I'm a snob. But once someone talks to me, I talk to them like I wasn't ever shy at all.

So, yes. After decades of thinking that I am probably just shy, I've finally come to accept that this is me. I am an introvert who likes to chatter away by writing!

When I was trying to come up with a new title for this blog (and it might still change), I wanted to add the word "introvert" because you wouldn't know I am one by just reading this blog. I chatter so much in my blogs and journals. So I decided to google the definition of the word to see if it is really my personality.

Here's a couple:

• What is an introvert?
• 10 Myths About Introverts

And just for fun... are you an introvert or extrovert? Take the quiz and see! 

And lastly, my boys today, doing what boys do best - BEING BOYS! They love playing with each other. And no, my little J (the baby on upper shelf) is 2 years, 2 months, and 2 days younger than C (the kid on the lower shelf) even though he doesn't look like it in this picture. He's so big! I love them both.

Total Opposite

I really feel J was born to balance my motherhood life. C gave me such an easy time (except when it comes to feeding him) when it was just him. I really think J is born to give me some more experience in this parenthood thing and take me out of my bubble ("I have such an easy life as a parent because my son is so easy-going.") J is not that much of a troublemaker, but he's been the total opposite of his older brother. Except for one thing - sleeping through the night at 2 1/2 months old (C did it at 2 months old). And by sleeping through the night, I mean from 8pm - 5am. It was probably around 3-ish month old for both of them before they started sleeping 'til the sun was out (say 8pm-7am). That was one common thing they had. But everything else is different.

Okay, I'm not comparing them at all. I'm just seeing their differences and I really like it. I like how they have such different personalities and yet get along so well. Like all siblings, they fight most of the time. But they play with each other more.

So I took J to his 18th month wellness checkup today (it was an annoying long wait, by the way, but I'll post the details in our family blog). C was always easy to talk to with these kind of things once he was older than 8 months old. If you told him don't move, he won't move. But with J, no. Oh no. He just kept wiggling that finger that gave his vital whatever to the device that was clamped onto it. The nurse tried to take his oxygen through his foot instead. He wiggled that part, including his toes, and wiggled it 'til she gave up and took the device off. When it came to taking his weight and height, she didn't take us to where you lie the baby down and they measure the height (they don't have such a device!) and on another one for the weight. It was the usual grown-up way of standing up and they move the thingies around the rulers 'til they balance out (I feel so dumb not remembering what it's called). So naturally, he wanted to get off the shaky pad. I had to kneel in front of him on the floor and let him cuddle with me 'til the nurse got his right weight. With his height, I had to show him the numbers in front of him (he's into numbers and letters lately) and it was enough to keep him occupied to get his height.

When the doctor finally came in to check on him, J struggled for a bit when the doctor needed to check his ears. Then he wouldn't open his mouth. "Stick your tongue out like this and open your mouth," the doctor said. As if my 18 month old understood what that means. He did stick out his tongue, trying to imitate us. But he didn't open his mouth. I don't know if he's purposely doing the exact opposite of what we needed him to do but he is such a boy!

Here are some other things he did differently from his older brother:

• Drinking from a bottle very early (C refused bottles until 11 months old)
• Eating solid foods for the first time easily (C pushed them out of his mouth all the time)
• Transitioning to a sippy cup quickly (C didn't like most of the sippy cups I tried when he just barely got used to the bottle)
• Eating REAL solid foods and not being too picky (C is really picky. He's still picky right now but it's been lessened a bit).
• Opening kitchen cabinets, taking books out of the bookshelf multiple times, climbing up on the kitchen table and chairs, etc. no matter how many times we said no (We never had to put fence around our tv set when we just had C, or hide our dvd rack, because he never touched them after we said 'no' for like less than 10 times in spread out in different days)

Oh J, you complete my life with so much more fun! Thanks for spicing things up a bit. I love you tons!

My Message for You

... through a song ...

Dear C and J,

This song is for both of you from me, your Mommy. I know you're still young and are still oblivious to the dangers and heart aches of this world. I love how your world now in your own minds is just so peaceful and wonderful - and that the only heartaches you get is when Mommy or Daddy said "No." or when the other sibling stole the toy you were playing with.

But someday you will lose that innocence and will get hurt and feel pain. You will grow up and see the world as adults. Maybe as teens first, of course, but on the way to adulthood. When that time comes, when your own wonderland leaves your life, remember I am here for both of you. I will always be here, either close by (as long as you want me to) or far away (if you want me to keep my distance from you, but will still be looking after you from afar). You are my most precious treasures, the greatest gifts I have ever received. I'll always "stand by you." I love you both!

Oh, why you look so sad?

The tears are in our eyes.

Come on and talk to me now.

Don't be ashamed to cry

Let me see you through

'Cause I've seen the dark side too.

When the night falls on you,

And you don't know what to do,

Nothing you confess

Can make me love you less.

I'll stand by you,

I'll stand by you,

Won't let nobody hurt you,

I'll stand by you.

So, if you're mad, get mad.

Don't hold it all inside,

Come on and talk to me now.

Hey, what you've got to hide?

I get angry too.

Well, I'm a lot like you.

When you're standing at the crossroads

And you don't know which path to choose,

Let me come along

'Cause even if you're wrong

I'll stand by you.

I'll stand by you.

Won't let nobody hurt you,

I'll stand by you.

Take me in into your darkest hour,

And I'll never desert you,

I'll stand by you.

And when, when the night falls on you baby,

You're feeling all alone.

You won't be on your own.

I'll stand by you,

I'll stand by you.

Won't let nobody hurt you,

I'll stand by you.

Take me in into your darkest hour,

And I'll never desert you,

I'll stand by you.

Oh I'll stand by you.

I'll stand by you.

Day After: Park & New Craft Table

Yesterday, the day after I quit my game, was interesting. It was hard at the start of the day not having my tool for social life. I was bored to death when the kids took a nap. I called it "going through withdrawals." :P I wasn't bored when they were awake. I've always loved watching them play and have a little bit of rivalry every now and then. But when they went down for a nap, I was dreadfully bored. But quitting the game was liberating - in the sense that, even though my mind still wandered through leveling a player, it immediately remembered it's OVER. Then brain actually started relaxing a bit more throughout the day than when I played the game.

The entire afternoon was kind of depressing because I was bored. I think I was also affected a little bit by the depressing mood of the book that I've been reading. It's a great book, I was just at the part where she was really depressed, the parts where two of her kids didn't want to see her (Stephanie Nielson's "Heaven is Here"). So I think that sort of affected my mood for the day.

But as soon as the kids woke up again at 3:00 pm (usually the time I put them down for a nap), we played a little bit more inside the house and had some snacks until it was cool enough to go outside and play. It was 5:00 pm and play they did! There were barely anyone at the park. I don't know if it was the heat or because school is about to start. But we had the park for ourselves. C totally loved running through the sprinklers and showers. J was so curious about the doves and birds that were eating the crumbs of his snacks that I threw on the grass.

Earlier that day, Jesse told me that my craft table had shipped to the nearby Walmart store we picked out to pick it up from. So I was excited, and my gloomy mood was lifted. I had asked him to pick us up at the park on his way home from work because I just didn't feel like walking back home in the heat. Just as he arrived to pick us up (with my table in the trunk), the ice cream truck just arrived as well. I was as much excited as C was, but we didn't have cash so Jesse just bought one for C using some of the change we had in our car. He was messy but happy. I let him run around the sprinklers one more time to wash the sticky stuff off of him, then we went home.

Look at those red cheeks! So cute! J loved being in the swing. He didn't like having his shoes on, though.

That night, we had a fun time at dinner. So lately every dinner, Jesse reads some chapters of Joshua from the Bible to us. Usually it was always only when C is still the only one left eating. But the scenario is always the same. When Jesse stops talking, the kids stop talking. As soon as Jesse uttered one word, either J or C will start talking to each other, blowing raspberries in the air, and yelling "AAAAAAAH!!!!" It was funny! I couldn't help but laugh last night at the scene. Next time, maybe tonight, I'll take a video for good time's sake when they grow up.

Jesse and C went upstairs as soon as the reading was done, and I stayed downstairs doing the dishes while J ran around the living room and kitchen with assortment of toys in his hands. He's just the cutest little toddler. He's still wobbly when he walks even though it's been a month since he started walking. I stayed downstairs a little longer to wait for Jesse to finish up with the table (I didn't want J to bother him) but it was getting late so we put J down to bed.

C was "helping" his dad put my craft table together. He was basically just playing with the styrofoams, putting them on top of each other, and singing "Bob the Builder, can we fix it! Bob the builder, yes we can!" And he can sing the whole song (with some words missing, of course). So cute! I should have taken a video of it.

It was kind of late than the usual bedtime for C but he wanted to stay up as long as we were putting the table together. He went to bed right away after we finished at 10:00 pm. Now I'm ready to stack it up with my craft things. 

I promised myself, even before I gave birth with C in Hawai'i, that this hobby won't take over my time for my children. Even blogging is only done when they're taking a nap (like now). Besides, I can barely make anything anyway if they were awake. Haha! I can't wait to see what things I can make again. Oooh, and I want to learn how to sew next (when we have a little bit more budget to buy a sewing machine in the next few years).

My craft table. Printer will be taken out as soon as we find a cheap table for it from the thrift stores. I think Jesse was just as happy as I was when we were putting it together last night. He even asked if I was sure I wanted the printer there because it's my CRAFT table. :P So sweet!

Simple Joy

It was a little bit right after lunch. I was lying down on our couch reading a book given to me by my mother-in-law as a birthday gift. My kids were playing with (and against) each other. Once in a while I had to look up from my book and tell C to stop roughhousing with his little brother. Yes, J can complain now with a loud squeal.

C's pretty good with truck noises. I was in another world, and so was C (making up stories about his trains falling off a cliff). J was busy nibbling on each toy, and banging them on the floor or on another toy. And then there it was - a truck sound. It pulled over right in front of our house. C immediately came back to the real world. He looks through the window and says, "Mommy, it's a tow truck! I wanna see the tow truck!" So I opened the door, and he was very eager to go outside to look at this tow truck. It was unloading a car right by our neighbor's house. Double points! C was so happy! This guy just loves anything with wheels. And the tow truck driver (AAA company) was smiling at us, seeing that he has a big fan of trucks watching him unload a car.

I'm pretty sure the garbage men in our previous residence are missing my little man. Now nobody watches them load trash and garbage in their truck when they're in our little street.

Happyness and Joy

Yes, I am alive!!! That was a loooong break for me, wasn't it? Anyway...

I love being a mom as much as I love being a wife to my very handsome accountant. Being a mother (or, rather, a parent) is very tiring and challenging. But the hard part of being a parent is often times (if not always) overcome by happYness and joy.

Our children are still young and so innocent. I love the ages they are in right now. C likes to ask questions now, "Mommy, what you doing?" He also likes to correct us if we wrongfully described something ("No, that's not a truck, it's a dump truck!") He still likes to help out, bully his little brother every now and then, and what have you for a toddler. He still loves to cuddle with us on our bed when he wakes up in the morning. He understands a little bit of Tagalog now. Yay!!!

J is growing up so fast. He just turned 9 months old. Where did the time go? He likes to laugh out loud especially during his baths. He takes baths together with his "kuya" (older brother). He loves to crawl around and pull himself up to a stand. He'll cruise around our couch back and forth, and sometimes he'll try his limit and let go for a second (then lands on his butt on the floor). He loves to eat. He eats anything! Which we love, by the way (C is still a picky eater). He likes to say "mama" now and any other vowel-consonant sounds he could come up with, especially when he's really focused on a toy he's playing with.

I love being a wife to my man and being a mother to these two boys, especially on days when I could see and hear this:

Jabbalockeez

C loves the Jabbawockeez. If you don't know who they are, they are the first champions of the America's Best Dance Crew show (Season 1). I watched most of their dance routines in the show and I liked them. One day I showed them to C and he fell in-love right away. His favorites are their "Apologize," "Lean Wit It Rock Wit It," "Evolution of Hip Hop," (that's his utmost favorite of all), "Robot Remains," and "Devastating." Interestingly enough, those are my favorites, too.

 Everyday before nap time, I would let him do all his crazy moves out to get him tired enough to go down for a nap. And the Jabbawockeez always helps me, and it's fun watching him dance. So today I was changing J's diaper before nap time and here's the conversation between me and C:

Me: "Do you want to watch the Jabbawockeez before we go to sleep?"
C: "I wanna see the Jabbalockeez"
Me: "JabbaWOckeez"
C: "JabbaLOckeez"
Me: "No, Jabba-WO-ckeez"
C: "Jabba-LO-ckeez."

And I thought I'd had fun with him:

Me: "Jabba"
C: "Jabba"
Me" Wockeez"
C: "Wockeez"
Me: "Jabbawockeez"
C: "Jabbalockeez"
Me: "You need to say it right first before we can watch them."
C: "Jabbalockeez Mom!"
Me: "Jabbawockeez"
C: "Jabbalockeez."
Me: "Haha! All right, I give up. Let's go watch the Jabbalockeez."

And off we went to play a single video clip of Jabbawockeez compilation.

Good Foundation

We've recently "RECLAIMED" our Macbook laptop from the nursery room. J has been using it to listen to some music while he slept (ever since he was 2 months old) when we moved him to his own bedroom. It was great and he started sleeping through the night at 2 1/2 months old. I've been planning to get the laptop back, though. I prefer our laptop over our desktop when I edit our photos. We tried getting it back using an iPod hooked to a portable speaker instead - the free iPod I got from my college graduation. But that iPod, in two consecutive nights, decided to freeze while on repeat in the middle of the night and it always ruined everybody's sleep. I thought of doing the electric fans but it was too cold to turn on a fan that strong in his room back then. The "fart fan" (I don't know what else to call it) in the bathroom next to his bedroom didn't work in putting him to sleep either.

When my husband suggested last weekend to try to claim our Mac back again by using one of our electric fans as white noise, I was kind of skeptical. But it worked, just like how it did with C. J still sleeps through the night.

So I had that laptop downstairs today in the kitchen to listen to some music while we were having lunch. I was playing some Primary songs that I gathered from Grooveshark. As I was making C's lunch (and J was busy drinking his bottle of formula), the "Book of Mormon Stories" song played and you know how it always ends - "righteously."

I listened to the whole song while I was lathering C's bread with peanut butter and grape jelly and I thought to myself, "I am so blessed to be able to raise our children in the gospel." I just had this thought that most children in the world knows, you know, nursery rhymes and what-not. Some of those songs teach good things, and some are just for pure rhymes and fun stories. But my children, aside from learning nursery rhymes, can also learn Primary songs that teaches them about our Heavenly Father and His Son Jesus Christ, and how to listen to the prophets and apostles, and how to live righteously. At their young age, they are already having a good foundation that they will need in their lives through the Primary songs and the things they learn at church and at our home (I need to do better). I just feel so blessed that they are being raised in the gospel in this world where sacred things are slowly but seriously being taken for granted - physical bodies, procreation, & marriage as examples. (I'm still drafting a post about that and I don't know if I want to post it, but maybe I will).

Kung Zhu Pets

One day my Dad hitched a ride with his old friend, Jun, on his way to Las Vegas to take his mom to the doctor. My dad always tries to catch a ride with "tito" Jun (tito means uncle but he's not really my uncle. It's just how we call older people that someone we know knows) whenever he takes his mom to the hospital here in Las Vegas. They're from Provo and I don't know why she always goes here in Vegas but I don't ask.

Anyway, in one of those trips, my dad bought Kung Zhu pets for C and J. I didn't know what it was. And C was in the middle of being potty trained so we didn't open his (J's Kung Zhu box was smaller).

Today, though, C was taking his box all around the living room. I was trying to save it for his birthday but since it's been a while that it's just been hanging around the living room, I opened it. Assembled it. C even tried to help. I love it whenever he tries to help when we're assembling something - a toy, a furniture, etc. It's cute.

Anyway, so when it was finally done, this is how it looked:

In the instructions it said to put the flags at the sides of the "gate." Anyway, so when we were done, C was looking for the ninja hamsters (they're supposed to be ninja hamsters). But it's sold separately. I didn't care much about them and he was fine when I gave him the idea of just using his toy cars instead. It kept him busy the whole morning.

But during their nap time (my computer time), I was looking through some blog posts and so I came across my friend's good deals on 2 websites. So I started browsing those sites for some clearance stuff (just for fun) and I stumbled upon the Kung Zhu pets in ToysRUs. I thought the Kung Zhu pets were lame toys. If they were at ToysRUs, they're probably not. I became curious so I checked them out on Youtube.

I just think they're fun. I'm pretty sure C will have fun if we had the hamsters. Now it makes me want to grab 1 or 2 hamsters. At least we don't have to feed them, right?

PS. Happy leap day! To celebrate that leap day, J had 3 pokes today (immunizations). He's 19 lbs (75%) and 28 inches (97%) now. He cried for a bit but then he was okay right away - until we got home. He didn't stop crying until I nursed him to sleep.

Big "This Too Shall Pass" Moments {Potty Training}

I can't imagine how many times I've said that to myself my whole life - well, not really my whole life. It was ever since I left home and my family behind to go to school to a foreign country. The first big "this too shall pass" moment I had were each birthdays and Christmas every year for 7 years (and counting) that I was away from home. I had to tell myself that "this too shall pass" whenever I was homesick and wanted to be with my family. Of course, being homesick (especially during Christmas time) never gets old. But I could at least handle it fairly well and better now than I did before.

The second "this too shall pass" moment was the first several months of C's life. I've said "this too shall pass" so many times with regards to sleepless nights the first two months, painful nursing the first 6 weeks, and inconvenient breastfeeding the whole 15 months. When J was born, I had those exact same baby blue feelings I did with C (although nursing was easier with J) and had that 4-word phrase in my head every single minute of every single day. Because I know it's true - it shall pass. It was just temporary and I must stay positive no matter how exhausting it was.

The third is... potty training. Okay so this blog post is really just about whining with a tiny twist of trying to be positive. So last weekend, I faced the one thing I didn't want to face in my life (besides the first month of a newborn babe), and that is potty training. I miss my husband right now. I think my decision to start it on a weekend (instead of a weekday) was right because my husband was a BIG BIG BIG HELP to me. He was really good at staying positive and he keeps encouraging C no matter how many accidents we've had in the first morning alone.

Click image to see reviews from Amazon.com

I will spare you the details of his potty training, but C made a huge improvement on the first 6 hours of his first day of potty training. It's not really hard to train him. But I guess my "this too shall pass" moment is how hard it is right now because he can't get on the toilet on his own. And the many accidents (which I already expected) and constant washing of his sheets. And the fact that I have to keep an eye on him constantly while taking care of J. C's stupid toilet seat slides around and the pee guard is no use. We didn't know it was the worst consumer rated toilet seat until we checked it online (Amazon) on the first night of potty training C. I've thought many times to get him a potty seat where he can go on his own without our help because I know he will. He tries with his toilet seat but it's just hard for him to get on it, so I guess that's why he's not motivated enough to go by himself although he knows that that's what he needs to do. But then again, I thought it would be so much easier for all of us in the long run if he gets used to using the toilet right away and not have to transition him from a potty to a toilet.

Another thought I had was to slap some pull-ups on him during nap times and bedtimes. But again, I THINK (I am no expert, obviously, because this is my first time) it would only delay getting him fully potty trained. So for now I am sticking to our method and will just keep telling myself, "this too shall pass" even though I haven't had any good sleep since we started training him (J decided to wake up at 5 am since yesterday morning, especially if he rolled over). If only I had enough sleep, it would make the world so much better!

I know there are a lot harder challenges out there where this phrase, "this too shall pass" is more applicable. I admit, potty training him could be worse. But for right now, this is MY "this too shall pass" moment because I'm just a whiny person. One thing I would change in the future is to potty train J first before deciding to have another baby.

Sorry this post doesn't have a single picture in it, besides potty seat he has. I have a couple of photos in my camera but I'm just too lazy to upload it. Besides, C's right next to me watching his playlist in Youtube while I'm writing this so we can run to the toilet anytime he needs to go.

I Miss You

Dear C,

You have been such a great 'kuya' to your little brother. You have ALWAYS been a good child to us, your parents. Thank you for your patience, your kindness, and your unconditional love. And for all the fun you've shared with us.

I am sorry if mommy can't give you the full attention that you used to have. Things will be different from now on, but know that mommy and daddy loves you just as much as we did before little J came along. We love both of you.

And mommy misses everything that we used to have when it was just you and me while daddy was at work. Most of all, I miss you. Please don't grow up too fast.

Love,
Mommy

Overwhelming...

I have been pretty overwhelmed lately... just a little bit. As a stay-home mom, I feel like most of the pressure is on me to do these things because I'm the one who's constantly with our boys. Well, the things that overwhelms me lately are the thoughts of potty training, raising bilingual children, and starting our second child with solid foods.

I've put it off for a long time now but it's time to potty train our son. He's been a really good kid and was really easy to take care of ever since he was born but, of course, I haven't seen everything yet. Who knows how we will both handle potty training? But it has to be done... {sigh}. Just another sign that he's growing up and I can't stop it.

Second on the list is raising bilingual children. I did a pretty good job starting our first son with my language (Tagalog) when he was a baby. But ever since we left his birth place (and our friends who spoke my language), English automatically came out of my mouth whenever I talked to him. It was just weird for me to speak to him in Tagalog in a non-Tagalog speaking country.

But this year, I am trying really really HARD to talk to our sons in my language. My husband speaks it, too, but he thinks it's better if I am the MAIN one who speaks it to them because he's not sure if he was doing it good enough. Well.. I'm telling you, he's really good! No kidding! You can't tell that it's an American who's speaking Tagalog if you listen to him with your eyes closed. Seriously. (Don't blush, beb). I started this year good enough with regards to this bilingual thing. But at the beginning of each new day, English comes out of my mouth automatically. Then I revert back and forth to both languages the whole day (each time I spoke English automatically, I always continue to speak in Tagalog). It's frustrating because our first son only understands English (and I bet some Tagalog), and he's trying really hard to understand me when I speak to him in Tagalog. There are days that he's just not into it and he'll 'command' me to stop my Tagalog by being stern with his, "NO!" Well, at least I got to teach him to count 1 to 3 in Tagalog (he knows how to count 'til 20 in English). I just have to keep reminding myself to make it as fun as I can.

Another thing that's frustrating about that is that if I want to talk to him during potty training, I have to speak in English to take a little pressure off of both of us during the whole process. But I have to speak Tagalog exclusively to him if he were to learn the language (it's easiest to learn a new language when they're still young). Aah! What to do.

Grabbed from Google images

Third, starting solid foods. I don't mind it, really. I'm actually excited. Our second son is turning five months this month and it was about this age when we started his "kuya" (older brother) with rice cereal. The only thing that gets me overwhelmed thinking about it is the timing. Potty training a toddler while introducing solid foods to an infant requires lots and lots and LOTS of patience. I don't know how much I have in my patience bank.

Oh well... time to stock up on pair of hand gloves, disinfecting wipes/spray, and some big boy underwear!