Growing Pains

Well, it's been another while since my last update.

C has graduated from preschool. He loved preschool and he loved making friends there. He's turning five soon and I'm a little sad that we aren't throwing him a party with his friends and/or cousins over. It'll be just another simple birthday celebration. Heck I don't even know yet what to do for him on that day, but I'm sure we'll have fun.

J is still his silly, will-powered self. He's beginning to construct sentences better. It's cute and all, but it also kind of makes me sad that my baby is indeed growing up. He's getting better in using the toilet to do his business, even with going #2. Potty training him this time around had been so much easier for all of us than the first time we tried.

My husband applied for an assistant controller a few weeks back, got through the interviews (phone and in-person), and now we are looking at many weekends ahead full of traveling because he got the job. We'll be traveling for house hunting where we'll be moving, and traveling to see family and friends before we leave our close proximity to them. It's going to be a busy month and maybe even after we've settled down. More on this on a different post later.

And me, still growing. I'm 24 weeks pregnant as of today. My little princess is living up to her reputation as the princess of this household. She has been harder to carry than her two older brothers. I always find myself exhausted - a lot more exhausted than I was in my previous pregnancies - and in pain. Just pain everywhere. Sometimes it even hurts my everything when I walk, or when I roll over in bed. I don't know if that has something to do with placenta previa but most days I just want to lie down in bed and have a maid clean the house, or a babysitter to take care of our kids, or a chef to make us good food. I haven't been making dinner a lot because of it. I mean I've always been like that, but I'm worse now. Just glad that my husband understands and doesn't complain.

I'm a little upset that my doctor's appointment has been moved to 2 more weeks (that's 6 weeks since the last time I met her, 4 days before we leave Vegas) because she suddenly isn't available at the time they gave me and now they had to push me over to some random date to accommodate HER needs, not mine. So there's a possibility that I won't get that ultrasound before our move. We'd have to find a new doctor first which will probably take by August before I get another ultrasound. I really need that ultrasound. I just ... all I want to know is if everything's better and if so, then I can have some things, even just ONE thing, back to normal.

I think the reason why I'm in this blog post right now is not just to merely update it, but because my pathetic, insignificant disappointments are building up and I need to let some, if not all, of my steam out. So, thank you, for bearing with me. I appreciate it. :)

Six Years

Before I got married and even after then, I always heard seasoned married people (or at least had several years of experience ahead of me) that the first five years is often the hardest part of marriage, that technically it's still a honeymoon stage. You are adjusting to a new lifestyle and are considering another person in your decision-making. It's not just about you anymore. It's not an "I, My, Mine, Me" lifestyle. It's an "Us, We, Ours." You can't just make a decision, especially important life decisions, on your own. Well you can if you want to, but that is not how marriage works.

Image searched through Google.

I also heard and read and was told about many other advice or words of wisdom. Like for example, "You can't change your spouse, but you can change yourself." When one of my closest friends in college was getting married, we were walking to the cafeteria when she asked me, "who is your first priority in marriage? Your children or your spouse?" I didn't know the right answer then. Well, maybe I did, but I was taken aback and wasn't able to answer for a while. I thought deeply about it, thinking about what I saw growing up. In my mother's world, we came first. At least that's how I felt. So I blurted, "my children." "Wrong," she said. "Your spouse always comes first."

Image searched through Google.

Well, it totally made sense to me. If you want your children to respect you and your spouse, you will show your spouse the kind of respect they deserve and the affection and the love and everything else. The spouse comes first, and when the children sees that, they will emulate that (hopefully) in their own marriage. It, too, will make your marriage better. Of course, I made a mental note that it will only apply - to me, at least - as long as he is not abusive or anything of that sort.

In all of my still-very-young years, I've already known the kind of man I wanted to marry. I won't get into details why, but I was really determined to meet that kind of man. Not a boy, a man. Maybe a man in a boy figure. Hehe! However, I still learned one or two more things before that day came, before the "FOR ALL TIME AND ETERNITY" came: 1) I have to qualify on certain kinds of qualifications just as much as I have a list of qualifications for the kind of man I wanted to marry. 2) Not all of those in my list about him will be checked, just as all of my list about my self-improvement will be checked before that day came.

We are past the five years, and even though it's still very early into our marriage, I feel we've grown together in this journey for the better. I have changed. I'm still not perfect, but I have changed because of his trust, love, and patience. An incredible amount of patience. Like in every marriage, there have been ups and downs. I pouted a lot. He apologized a lot. Sometimes I got on his nerves, mostly because I just won't say what's wrong when I pout. We are so different but we complement each other.

Image searched through Google.

I am glad I was able to meet that kind of man I wanted to marry. Sure I may have written a shallow "as handsome as Brad Pitt" in my list, which I doubt I did, but my husband is the best one for me. Brad Pitt is not handsome anyway, not to me at least. Haha!

If you were so curious, my list was not really long and some of them were shallow qualifications but the main ones I focused on were: he loves the Lord, respects the Priesthood, he loves me and our children, he doesn't hurt me and the children especially physically, and a responsible breadwinner. Someone who will let me stay home with the children was a plus. And he met all of these. I really don't know what I did to deserve him in my life. But he is here, he is my husband, and I couldn't be any happier. I am doing my best to continue feeding the fire, feeding the love, respecting him, thinking of him first (even though I don't make dinner on a daily basis), and basically just thinking of how I can make him happy and how I can contribute to make this marriage happy and joyful and peaceful all at the same time despite the random rain and storms at times, because he is doing his part, his 100%+ in this marriage. I couldn't have asked for anyone else.

The Engagement Story ... 5 years after.

I was reading through my old blog several months ago and I stumbled on a couple of posts about how I met Jesse and our engagement. So, with a little bit of proofreading and re-writing, I am pasting it here again to remember that very sweet day:

"Another chapter of our book of life!

Early morning of Dec. 27, I jumped off of my bed and had Jesse in my mind because he's coming back! The whole day felt like forever because his plane was supposed to land at 12 midnight. I was getting more and more excited as the sunlight disappeared slowly and the time slowly crawled it's way to midnight. But before that, Jesse told me his flight is delayed (almost an hour). I was a little bit upset but it's okay. 

At exactly 12 a.m. of Dec. 28th, I took my friend BJ with me to the airport. He was so tired so I drove (he has a license, I only have a permit - that's why I needed him). I drove... on the freeway again! The rain was pouring hard that night. We were driving at 60 mph. I was so scared but we made it to the airport. Still, Jesse's plane took a long time to land. The baggage claim was very slow in delivering their passengers' luggage. I was getting more and more impatient, but oh well! When it comes to things like these, I just tell myself, "patience is a virtue." 

At 2:30 a.m., he finally came out! I was so sleepy yet I was so excited to see him again. We were back at Laie by 3:30 a.m. I gave him my belated Christmas gifts which made him happy - and so, made me happy too. 

After our work that day (still Dec. 28), we watched a movie in Waipahu (about an hour drive from Laie). Then headed straight back to Laie afterwards. This rarely happens to us, but he asked me if I wanted to watch the sunrise the next day. Even though it was kind of weird for me that he asked me first (I usually do), I still said yes (I love sunrise!). We agreed to wake each other up at 5:30 or 5:45 a.m. 

And that's what we did. We watched the sunrise at the Bikini Beach, the beach across from PCC. It was a cloudy morning but we still tried to enjoy it. We read Alma 33 in the Book of Mormon when the sun was up (behind the clouds). 

After reading the chapter, he asked me if I knew what Doc. & Cov. 4 was. It was a very weird, random question for me but I still answered yes and we talked a little bit about it. Then he pulled out a little note out of his right pocket and read from there what he wrote for me. At first I thought he just took a chapter from the scriptures and changed the names  there to our names. But when phrases like "raise the bar" came up, I figured he made it all up! Everything! It was a little bit funny yet sweet. I thought it was just a random, sweet, cheesy, romantic note from him to me so I just smiled. Then he handed the note to me so I can keep it. 

We were quiet for a while. Then all of a sudden, he turned to me, looked right into my face and said, "Lois, I have a question [started digging into his left pocket] to ask you." The moment I saw him dig into his pocket and heard him say the word "question," I started freaking out. I was just screaming, "OH! NO WAY!!!" Things rushed to my mind so quickly I couldn't remember them. He had this little black, square thing in his hand and just held it out right in front of me. I couldn't even look at it. I was just freakin' out and saying, "NO WAY!!!" He thought I was going to turn him down. He opened it, and I was still freakin' out but I gave it a glance... and I saw a ring! And I freaked out even more! He just stared at me for a few seconds not knowing what to think but still managed to pop the question (and I started to calm down). Of course, I said, "I WILL! I WILL!!!" Then we gave each other a hug. He put the ring on my finger... while shaking! The ring was one size bigger (7) than my size (6) so he took out this rubber thing that you put on the ring so you can fit it for a while. But as he was trying to put it on the ring, he was shaking so bad, so I did it myself. Then after a few while, the clouds parted just enough for the sun to show up and shine on us... coincidence! Hehehe!"

All Smiles for Your Love

Funny how some things can make you feel. Besides having a bigger kitchen table (so we could finally accommodate guests, like my in-laws, together in one table when we eat), a craft table is one of the things I've always wanted. Which is why I can't stop talking about it.

The whole time I was stocking up my craft table just now, I couldn't stop thinking about my husband. He bought this for me because I wanted it so bad, even though it probably put a hole in our budget for the next month. He has always spoiled me this much all the time every birthday, Christmas, and anniversary - a Cricut machine, a VERY NICE camera bag, a DSLR, a tripod, a point-and-shoot camera (because I didn't want to wake up J when I took pictures of him with my loud dslr camera shutter when he was a newborn), and many attempts to have me buy myself new clothes (which I never did - not a big fan of clothes shopping), and now this. And I've never heard him complain to me how I've never bought him expensive gifts (well I let him buy those sets of suits on a whim one day, for his work. Oh he looks great when he wears them! SO HANDSOME!!!)

As I was stock piling it up with the craft things I've collected little by little over the years with gift cards and discounts, I kept thinking about how he looked like last night as he was putting it together. He looked as excited as I was. He may not have bought me enough flowers during the entire course of our marriage, or wrote me letters, or took me to nice dinners, and all the general thinking of how a romantic man is supposed to be, but he has shown his romantic side in a very different - and spoiling - way. I can't help myself but just smile the whole time I thought about him and how much he loves me. Besides all these, he takes great care of our kids when he comes home from work no matter how tired he is.

I love the way you show your love for me, Jesse, in every aspect of life. You are such a blessing to me. I feel your love for me everyday! And I love you too! (now texting this link to you.. buahahaha!!!!)

Love,  Your Wifey,

I Am Grateful

- for being with my own little family everyday.
- for the Priesthood and the men who try their best to be worthy of it.
- for the talents and gifts that each and every one in this world has.

Last month, as many of you already know, my husband has had a few series of mini-strokes/TIA. The first time was the worst. I wanted to stay with him at the hospital all night, but I couldn't. When he described to me his experience of his stroke, I couldn't imagine him being all that. He said he couldn't  think properly, couldn't remember some things he knew very well, like phone numbers. He couldn't say the right words that he wanted to say, like saying "F" instead of saying "seven" even though he knew he wanted to say "seven." I just couldn't imagine him being like that.

Paid a visit again the next day. C was checking out his Dad's ears with a portable night light provided by the hospital.

The second and third time it happened, I was worried. I thought I would be scared, but I wasn't. I just had this feeling that everything will be okay. But, you know, as a wife I couldn't help being worried. After all, my husband is still young and stroke usually happens to someone older. Mr. Wikipedia says people 55 years or older are at a higher risk of TIA. And we are half-way younger than that.

When the doctor released my husband from the hospital the first time it happened, he said he was healthy and doesn't really need any medication. But they still don't know what's triggering/causing his symptoms to happen. Nevertheless, I am still grateful for the gifts bestowed upon them to heal people.

I am thankful that my husband has so many fellow LDS members in his job. When his symptoms happened the third time, one of his co-workers was able to give him a Priesthood blessing as soon as they pulled over to the front door of the emergency department. He was released from the ER soon after that, and I was able to pick him up. All these series of strokes happened in just five days.

Today, when he came home, he said he felt the symptoms again at work. Oh the power of prayer! He told me he said a prayer to please make it stop. And it did. And he knew he had to walk around and relax a little bit and it worked.

I am hopeful that they will find out the reason(s) why he's having these symptoms with the next 2 tests that he's supposed to have this month. Right now, I am happy to be with him everyday, and with our little boys, too.

On a lighter note, I am grateful for the house we found to move into and rent for the next year (or so, who knows). It's really close to the nice park here. The boys and I can go play outside a lot now, even without the car! And I like how the downstairs are all tiles but the stairs and the whole upstairs are carpeted. Oh, and it has a little backyard. The owner was a little embarrassed about it, but we told him, "we don't even have a backyard in where we live right now." Hahaha! Woohoo! I'm excited to move! At least I'm not 36 weeks pregnant this time.

Conversations with hubby

I love talking to him when he's with me or even when he's not with me, especially when it comes with emoticons or meme faces! 

The one above was when the kids and I were away from him for two weeks so he could focus more on reviewing for his CPA exam. Never again will I unnecessarily separate from him for that long.

This last one is my favorite so far. He killed a black widow spider that morning. That spider had been living in a pillar by our doorstep for a long time. From our bedroom, I heard a banging noise outside the door. I figured he saw the spider again and killed it. Then he sent me a text message that morning that he had killed the creature. And again later that afternoon, and that ^ was our conversation.

It Feels Good

Yes it does. It feels so good that he didn't have to study this whole week every night for a CPA exam. It feels good not to feel bad when I ask him to do something - because it's okay, he doesn't need to study. It feels good TO RELAX!

I am hoping he passed the one he took recently (AUD) so that there will only be two more exams to take. For each exams, there's roughly (usually) 2 months time to study - and it's 2 months worth of driving me insane. I'm not the one studying but I do get stressed too.

Tomorrow MIGHT be another one of those last Saturdays of not having to study. It depends on hubby if he wants to start studying again next weekend once he finds out the result of his AUD test sometime next week. I want this to be over. I can't wait for it to be over. Each time he's studying is like I was holding my breath until he's taken the exam. Gotta have more patience! A little bit more (weekday nights and) Saturdays sacrificed to gain FOREVER Saturdays to go out as a family. At least we see him and get to be with him everyday.

One major thing I love about him is that despite his busy schedule and even though he REALLY REALLY needs to study once he gets home from work, he gives up 3 hours of study time each night to spend time with our boys and help me do things (at least let me take a shower). I know he's sacrificing a lot of his study time just to be with us everyday.

So for now, I am going to "savor" this coming last Saturday of relaxation before his next CPA exam. It feels so good to breathe!

Big "This Too Shall Pass" Moments {Potty Training}

I can't imagine how many times I've said that to myself my whole life - well, not really my whole life. It was ever since I left home and my family behind to go to school to a foreign country. The first big "this too shall pass" moment I had were each birthdays and Christmas every year for 7 years (and counting) that I was away from home. I had to tell myself that "this too shall pass" whenever I was homesick and wanted to be with my family. Of course, being homesick (especially during Christmas time) never gets old. But I could at least handle it fairly well and better now than I did before.

The second "this too shall pass" moment was the first several months of C's life. I've said "this too shall pass" so many times with regards to sleepless nights the first two months, painful nursing the first 6 weeks, and inconvenient breastfeeding the whole 15 months. When J was born, I had those exact same baby blue feelings I did with C (although nursing was easier with J) and had that 4-word phrase in my head every single minute of every single day. Because I know it's true - it shall pass. It was just temporary and I must stay positive no matter how exhausting it was.

The third is... potty training. Okay so this blog post is really just about whining with a tiny twist of trying to be positive. So last weekend, I faced the one thing I didn't want to face in my life (besides the first month of a newborn babe), and that is potty training. I miss my husband right now. I think my decision to start it on a weekend (instead of a weekday) was right because my husband was a BIG BIG BIG HELP to me. He was really good at staying positive and he keeps encouraging C no matter how many accidents we've had in the first morning alone.

Click image to see reviews from Amazon.com

I will spare you the details of his potty training, but C made a huge improvement on the first 6 hours of his first day of potty training. It's not really hard to train him. But I guess my "this too shall pass" moment is how hard it is right now because he can't get on the toilet on his own. And the many accidents (which I already expected) and constant washing of his sheets. And the fact that I have to keep an eye on him constantly while taking care of J. C's stupid toilet seat slides around and the pee guard is no use. We didn't know it was the worst consumer rated toilet seat until we checked it online (Amazon) on the first night of potty training C. I've thought many times to get him a potty seat where he can go on his own without our help because I know he will. He tries with his toilet seat but it's just hard for him to get on it, so I guess that's why he's not motivated enough to go by himself although he knows that that's what he needs to do. But then again, I thought it would be so much easier for all of us in the long run if he gets used to using the toilet right away and not have to transition him from a potty to a toilet.

Another thought I had was to slap some pull-ups on him during nap times and bedtimes. But again, I THINK (I am no expert, obviously, because this is my first time) it would only delay getting him fully potty trained. So for now I am sticking to our method and will just keep telling myself, "this too shall pass" even though I haven't had any good sleep since we started training him (J decided to wake up at 5 am since yesterday morning, especially if he rolled over). If only I had enough sleep, it would make the world so much better!

I know there are a lot harder challenges out there where this phrase, "this too shall pass" is more applicable. I admit, potty training him could be worse. But for right now, this is MY "this too shall pass" moment because I'm just a whiny person. One thing I would change in the future is to potty train J first before deciding to have another baby.

Sorry this post doesn't have a single picture in it, besides potty seat he has. I have a couple of photos in my camera but I'm just too lazy to upload it. Besides, C's right next to me watching his playlist in Youtube while I'm writing this so we can run to the toilet anytime he needs to go.

Note to Self - It's ... Staying In Love

21 was my planned earliest age to get married when I was still just barely in 6th grade. When I was a teenager, I have always been wondering who among the guys I've met in my life (or will meet since then) will turn out to be my future spouse.

One day I turned 21 years old. Months passed when I became really down and depressed not because I couldn't find 'the one' but because of something else. I was in a different country, far away from my family and had no one to talk to so I sent an email to my mom telling her about my problem. A part of my email had these thoughts from my very young mind:

When I was young, maybe when I was 11, I used to think how much love it took for all parents in this world had to have before they married their spouse, how hard married life is, and how couples endured those hard times. I had no idea because I was young. But now, eventhough I don't have the complete idea yet, at least I have a few. When we marry, sacrifice will always be there (especially sacrificing your own pleasures and interests), selflessness and consideration, understanding, patience, appreciation, endurance, charity, meekness and humility, kind words and good communication, and most important is love... and keeping it alive no matter how much it would seem to die in the years that passes by. It's being in love and staying in love always, and keeping it that way til your hair turns gray and your skin becomes wrinkly and your sight blurs, no matter how much it wants to die out.  Marriage is a team... efforts must be done together both by the couple with the aid of our Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. "Neither is the man without the woman and neither is the woman without the man... in Christ". These are the few things I learned about marriage as years passed and as I prepared myself for it. It's not complete yet... but it's a fairly good amount of knowledge to start with. I know there will be more sooner or later.

I got married 11 months after I sent this email. I was glad I came across this just a few days ago. My innocent, younger self reminded me, even besides being single at the time, some things about marriage that I have to remember forever. And she was right - there were more things learned since then, and there will always be things to be learned as the years go by. I can honestly say that in our marriage, I'm the one who needs a lot of improvement. I love being married and I love my husband. I am so blessed with a loving husband. He loves me and he loves our children so much. We are not perfect at it but I can see that he's trying everyday to include our Savior in the center of our daily lives. And I admire him for that.

Nothing is Too Big or Too Small to Ask About...

"You can go on ahead without me..." was the text message I read from Jesse today after church. He was doing some tithing stuff with our bishop's counselor today and he told me I can go home without him. I was actually excited to be able to do it all on my own even though I've driven that route (to and from our church) before for most Sundays that have passed.

Most of you know that I passed my driver's test yesterday. After almost 26 years, I finally have my own driver's license - not a permit, but a LICENSE! I don't know how and I'm not sure but maybe for most Americans, that age is a little bit late to get a driver's license than majority of them do. See, back home (Philippines), we could get by without having our own car. There are TONS of public transportations everywhere. If I still lived there, I probably still don't know how to drive a car.

Having my license now, as what most of my Facebook friends (and relatives) said, is liberating - a FREEDOM! For me it was more like freedom to go out whenever I 'need' to without counting on somebody else to take us (C and I) out. I have about just had enough of being stuck inside our house no matter how much I wanted to take C out to the park (which is really close by if you drive but a torture for a pregnant lady like me to walk to) - and I am really excited to be able to take him out there now on our own, or to go grocery shopping on my own (which I finally did yesterday, too) and do all the "housewifey errands" that most housewives can do because they can drive alone. I love and am looking forward to be able to do those, especially now that Jesse is getting busier studying for his CPA exam this month.

I cannot let this post end without giving credit to those who helped me. For one, it's Jesse and his extreme patience to me whenever we went out to drive. His first time to teach me was in Hawai'i and we had a manual transmission car. It was fun then for me but it became nerve-wracking when we had C so I stopped practicing 'til we moved here in Vegas - and I always lost my cool whenever we went out to drive. Yes, I always scolded him even though it's mostly my fault. But he always remained calm and loving. The last practices we had this last week were challenging for him because I was really uncomfortable (belly-wise) so I always got irritated quickly. But he was always patient with me.

Second is Jim from Silver State Driving Academy. After failing my first driver's test here in Las Vegas (2nd time to take the test, my first time was in Hawai'i), I really wanted to try taking a driving school session. Finally after weeks of asking, Jesse gave in and found Silver State (one of the cheapest). They teach you and charge you every session (2 hours each) and then determine if you need some more sessions to take. Well, Jim basically taught me everything I already knew when we went out driving. But what he gave me is the confidence I needed - confidence in myself that I can do it. I had this huge fear of driving on my own with the examiner for my second test but Jim took that fear away. He made me feel confident about myself and my driving skills. He actually said I was good to go and wondered why I even took that driving session with him. I said I am scared of being tested at parallel parking (which is always the reason why I didn't pass the first two tests). So he offered to teach me just that on my next session before my test. Unfortunately I never went back to them because they didn't even have ANY records of me - let alone taking a class with them before. Jesse taught me well about parallel parking last week for 2 days (probably 15 minutes each day) and I am happy now that I know for myself that I CAN do parallel parking!

Third, friends and relatives who gave me the confidence that I need - who kept saying, "you'll do great!" That always lifted up my spirit.

Fourth, and the most important, is the Lord. Yes, I know, a bit cheesy but I am serious. Ever since I failed my first test here in Las Vegas, I was really down about myself and I always doubted myself. I thought I will never have a driver's license... especially when I heard about some other licensed drivers who didn't have to do parallel parking during their test. Getting a license meant a lot to me, especially here in the US, because I can't do much of what I need to do here as a stay-home mom without it as I could back in the Philippines. So I prayed a lot and read a lot from the scriptures and Church magazines. I prayed to just help me find the confidence I need, and to help me learn how to drive safer, and more specifically to learn how to do parallel parking. Days before my test, I asked Jesse if he could give me a blessing before I take my test. So on that day (yesterday), he did. And I am grateful for having a priesthood holder in our home. I've always believed in the power of a priesthood blessing no matter how big or small the blessing is for. My dad gave me priesthood blessings whenever I needed it - mostly for major exams or when I left home to go to BYU-H.

Jesse blessed me to have the confidence that I need and to be calm (because I always freaked out on my previous tests) and that I will do well. I know the lady (the "tester") wasn't extremely nice to me by chance. I had the blessing before my test and I know the lady was somehow prompted to help me have a more calm and relaxed "driving environment" that day. We talked about a lot of things while we were driving around and because of her friendly personality, I was calm and became confident in myself, though it made it harder for me to focus on my driving while talking to her. I relied on the Lord first & firmly believed that if I ask, He will help me ("ask and ye shall receive...") and He helped me find the confidence I needed through another person - the one I least expected to receive it from (the "tester").

So all I'm saying is, I received my driver's license but I didn't do it all on my own. The power of prayer works and nothing is too big or too small to ask our Heavenly Father about. He knows what is best for us and if it is His will, He will give it to us. He said "no" to me the first two times because I always relied on my own "strength" (and only remembered Him on the day of my tests), and I think it's also because I still lack the knowledge of how to drive safely. But now that I am driving better than how I did in Hawai'i - and actually know how to parallel park - He said "yes" this time and helped me feel that I really earned this one with His help through other people.

Babies and a Tie

I almost forgot to post about the latest (and so far the last) handmade cards I made last month but it's never too late, right?!? :)

CARD #1: For my sister-in-law, Sarah:

She recently gave birth to a healthy 10 pound baby boy! CONGRATULATIONS!!!

Card #2: For a sister in our ward at Church, Elise Burnett:

Elise is due to give birth some time this month. It's their first baby so it's really exciting!

Cards #3: For Jesse (Father's day card)

I used to fold papers into a shirt like this back in high school and I almost forgot how to do it. The tie I used is from a Father's day sticker set that I got from Michael's. The next card was made by C, I only helped him how to make his very first handmade card:

He had so much fun tracing his hands with me, coloring the greeting card and the envelope, and adhering the "I heart my Daddy" printout onto another card stock paper. He was still kind of oblivious of what we were doing but I am just glad he was able to make it with me for Father's day.

I Won't Have it Any Other Way

My mother's day has been a very simple day so far. But I love it the way it is.

Our little kiddo woke us (actually, just me) up this morning at 9:30am. We bugged Daddy for a while in our bedroom before I got ready to start the day. I didn't even remember that it's Mother's Day today. I was busy doing my usual morning routine with C. When we got out to the living room, Jesse was already awake and up even though he looked like he still could go to sleep for another hour. Then he greeted me, "Happy Mother's Day!" That's only when I remembered what day it is today.

I was taking care of C when Jesse asked me what I wanted for breakfast. I didn't want him to fix me anything (because I don't eat breakfast), but I really found it sweet and very thoughtful. Then he washed some dishes for me (C's things mostly). He was really looking for something to do for me today and it really made me feel special and appreciated.

Right at this moment, he is making our dinner - coconut shrimp with apricot sauce/dip - which I found yesterday in one of our cookbooks (Betty Crocker cookbook). I was originally the one who was going to make it tonight. Today at Church, he told me he's going to make our dinner instead... and here he is now being the sweetest chef in the world in our little kitchen.

C gave me lots of kisses today both at home and at Church. It's been a while since he really cuddled with me for a long time (since I got my baby bump) without getting distracted by other things. Today he cuddled with me at Church and when we got home after. Also he was a very good boy at Church today during the sacrament meeting. He's always been an easy little fella but today he was twice as easy at Church. I love it when he says, "I la loo Mommy" or "I la loo Daddy" (I love you Mommy/Daddy). It just makes my heart melt.

Our little one was a bit more behaved today inside my belly. He's more active than C was when he was in my belly. But today he decided to be mellow, even though he still gave me strong jabs here and there once in a while.

This is my second mother's day holiday so far and this has been the simplest one (last year Jesse took me to this massage place for a full-body massage) but guess what...

I won't have it any other way!

I love spending time with my man and my little guy. I love playing games with Jesse. For one I think it's funny and kinda cute when he gets all competitive. I love playing with our son. He's so cute I could squeeze and kiss his cheeks all day long. I love feeling our little one inside my belly. They all make me happy more than the gifts I receive. No material things or hours of full-body massage can compare to the joy I feel by just being with them than anywhere else in the world. I love my little family so much! The acts of appreciation for me is more than enough. I feel so blessed to have them... my boys (oh my I'm being outnumbered). I am especially thankful and really appreciative of my sweet husband who always makes me feel special both on special days and on regular, ordinary days - well, even much more on special days like our anniversary, mother's day, my birthday, and Christmas. I often feel that I haven't done enough for him and he has done so much for me. 

My Eternal Companion

It's been almost 4 years since the first time I met Jesse.
I am always thankful for that day,
because that day was a great blessing to me.
It's when I met my (then) future eternal companion
and we didn't even know it yet.

It's been a wonderful three-year journey with my husband.
There were ups and downs, and I had a lot of imperfections.
But he was always there for me,
ever so caring, gentle, loving, and understanding.
I will always be thankful to Him for being so good to me
and for letting me meet Jesse.
He is everything I ever hoped for a husband, and more.
I only hope I have been (so far) the kind of wife he deserves, because
he is such a good man.

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY BEB!
Mahal na mahal kita!

I love these songs. Makes me think of Jesse.
Of course, it's not just "'til death do us part"...
it's forever!





"This much I know is true, that God blessed the broken road
that led me straight to you."

Outback Special

We had another appointment with my ob/gyne yesterday.

She was running late.

There were too many of us there waiting for her

instead of the other doctors.

We waited in the lobby for over an hour.

They had t.v. in the lobby so I watched the Travel channel first,

then it became the Food channel (that's what it said).

They showed different steakhouse restaurants,

and it felt like total torture (hunger-wise) for me... 

because I was hungry right at that moment

(it was lunchtime)

AND I've been craving steak for a long time now.

By the time we were called, everybody else was gone

(except for one more person besides us).

Then we just sat in the room for about less than 5 mins.

They didn't do any other check-up other than

the baby's heart (but we didn't know the heart rate).

The nurse then told me my doctor has to leave

(we haven't seen her that day yet)

because she's late for her scheduled c-section.

It was really frustrating.

I was kind of upset but I let it go because

I know that she is where she needs to be and that pregnant lady in labor

might be going crazy right then waiting for her.

I spent the whole afternoon almost by myself

because C took a nap right after we got home 

(after his lunch)

'til about a half an hour before Jesse came home from work.

He's really a good sleeper.
We put him back in his room AGAIN 3 days ago and

he's been sleeping on his own both for his naptimes and bedtimes.

Anyway, Jesse called me up on his way home from work

and surprised me with a dinner date with my

choice of place to eat.
He gave me some options and I just said, "OUTBACK!"

"... 'cause I'm sure they have steak!"

Hahaha!

He even arranged a babysitting schedule for C before

letting me know about it.
Our friends were C's babysitters that night! :)

Oh, I felt so pregnant (I usually don't) yesterday night.
The waitress asked for our order and I was like,
"I'd like to try the Outback Special..."

Her: "Ok. You have two choice of sides."
Me: "Ok.. Aussie Fries and mashed potatoes."
Her: "Ok." (started turning to Jesse to for his order)

Me: "OH! And can I have the grilled shrimp with that too?"

Hahahaha!!!

Sorry lady, pregnant lady was starving!
I just thought it was funny.

When she served us the food, I had tons on my plate.

(I just found this picture on Live to Feast's blog)

It looked exactly like that one on the picture,
with the mashed potato included (not in the picture).
I told Jesse I felt like a starving pig.

(Good thing I only ordered the smallest portion of the meat - 6 oz.) 

He just gave me a smile.
What a stud! I love that guy!

Oh and I finished everything!

YOU SHOULD TRY IT! It's awesomely good!

...

Why, hello blogging world!
I am back!

I cannot come up with a title for this post,

thus the dots.

Anyway, as most of you know, we just got back from the Philippines.

It was a nice experience.

We went home a little earlier than planned, but it's all good.

What was important was that we were able to spend

so much time with my family.

And at least we were able to do one big activity with them

at the Hundred Islands in Pangasinan.

Jesse was so sweet to these little kids during our stop-over at the Governor's island.

They are already trying to make a living at their young age.

The little girl, I think, was the oldest.

Jesse bought 3 key chains (one for him, one for C, and one for me) from them.

The little girl wrote our individual names on each shell.

I didn't say anything but I was touched by Jesse's interest in them.
He was talking to them as if he had known them for a long time.
I felt deeply grateful for the kind of man I married.

When we moved to the Quezon island, these little kids followed us there.

I guess they were fond of Jesse - my American husband who speaks Tagalog really well.

We had a good time in the Philippines.
We weren't able to visit Jesse's area during his mission,

but we will do it someday when we go back.

Patience and Trust

Last week, during our drive to Santa Maria, CA (from Las Vegas), my husband and I were talking about things that I hadn't realized before.

My husband is a good planner. We rarely think about our long-term goals. But he plans his short-term goals well. And most of the time, he sticks to it just like his decision to take an Accounting major, get my number after class, befriend me, marry me, raise a family with me, be an intern, get his Bachelor's degree, and pursue his Masters in Accounting. There was one day while we were packing up in Hawai'i (to leave - permanently), he saw one of his papers we had in one of his (or ours? can't remember) Accounting classes. It was about their goals and he wrote that he wants to go for his internship and be done with his Bachelor's degree by April 2010 - AND he was able to do just that.

Towards the end of his internship in Bakersfield, he was approached multiple times by those in higher position than him and offered him a job there if he changes his mind (not to go for his Masters) and decides to stay in the company. IT WAS A BIG, SHORT FORK on the road. It was like trying to decide at the last minute if you'll change lanes and take the "Exit Only" lane in a 65 mph freeway or stay on your course. On one hand, we wanted to go for his Masters because the possibilities of landing a good job is better that way but we didn't know what to do with our finances while he's in school (he planned to be a full-time student). On the other hand, staying with the company was a guarantee that he will have a job even though they haven't told him yet which job it was. The recession was merely over so having been offered a permanent job in that company was a big deal.

I could tell he,  as the breadwinner of our small family, was having a huge debate in his mind which road to choose. I was confused, too, but I was ready to support him in whatever road we chose. And I'm so blessed to be married to such a worthy priesthood holder who puts his trust in the Lord. We took the exit off of the "people with jobs" freeway. Sure, it would've been easier to just stay in the company and be confident that he would bring home more than just the bacon everyday (fried rice and orange juice? Hehe). But we were prompted to pursue his goal and I'm glad we did.

We had a hard time looking for a home in Las Vegas. We were getting close to moving out from Bakersfield and we still haven't found our home. But the Lord was always helping us. He knew just what we needed and He helped us find this home where we are living now. It wasn't a happy beginning either. I was actually upset for DAYS! Our patience was tested (thanks to our neighbor downstairs) since day 1 of our move. And patience is something that is not practiced well in my family back home so it was a BIG challenge for me. Maybe it was the Lord's humorous way of teaching me how to lengthen my patience in everything. I still have to work on it, but I can say I am now more able to lengthen it "a little longer" than usual. Thanks to my personal trainer downstairs.

Because of the difficulty we had in finding a home in Las Vegas before we moved out of Bakersfield, my husband was convinced he needs to work while going to school. It was hard looking for a job. And it was a lot more of a challenge knowing that Las Vegas was one of the cities that was hardest hit by the recession. He found one but he eventually knew he didn't like it there. I was kind of scared when he quit right away. Although I know his skills as an employee and a coworker was great (and his knowledge of the job he has to take), because of the recession I wasn't sure if he'd find another job again. He had some other interviews here and there and still no job. But with perseverance and patience and trust in the Lord, he found "THE" job. He loves it. It seems like he actually wants to stay in this job for a long time. We both think it's better than the job he had with the company where he was an intern. Thanks to his job now, too, we have a good health insurance.

Now that we look back, I know MORE than ever that everything falls into place when you follow God's plan for you and as long as you're willing to make some changes with your own plans (like how my husband changed his plan from being a full-time student w/o a job to being a part-time student and working full-time). We didn't know how we were going to make it before we moved to Las Vegas but we just sucked our fears in and put our trust in the Lord. The lyrics, "Jesus take the wheel, take it from my hands 'cause I can't do this on my own. I'm letting go..." (by Carrie Underwood) is actually ringing in my ears right now about how to describe our feelings back then. Now, we found a very nice place to live in that is in our budget, our patience is constantly being tested (and thus improving even just one drop at a time), my husband landed a GREAT job that he REALLY loves, and a great ward in Church. Oh, and A PLUS FOR ME! MORE FILIPINO STORES CLOSE BY EVERYWHERE!!! Haha!

I Feel My Savior's Love

Thanksgiving day is coming!
And so I would like this post to be special.

I was waiting for my son to wake up this morning

so I played some Primary songs in our laptop.

Then I heard one of my favorite Primary songs, "I Feel My Savior's Love."

I am thankful for our Savior.
I am eternally indebted unto Him.

He knows me more than I know myself.

He knows that I can do the things that I think I can't.

He loves me more than I know how to love others, even now

that I am a mother.

I am thankful that He blessed me with

a husband who loves me; who cares for me; 

who makes me want to be a good wife to him, and

a good mother to our son;

who honors his priesthood; and who does his best to be a

good example in our little family.

I am eternally blessed by just having him in my life.

The Lord knows how broken I was before I met my husband,

and He answered my prayers when He

introduced Jesse to me.

I am thankful He blessed us with C. 

Our little buddy gives us joy as parents every single day.
His laughs and smiles, and "new tricks"

fills my heart with so much joy each day.

I am thankful He blessed me with my parents-in-law

that are so nice to me and my little family.

Not a lot of sons/daughters-in-law get along well with

their parents-in-law.
But we do, and I love them.

Even though my family back home isn't perfect, I am still thankful 

that He blessed me with them. 

I have learned a lot from my own immediate family.

And I love them all.

Come to think of it, families are all that matter in this world.
In the plan of salvation/happiness, 

they are the ones you will see again after this life - not your big house,

or classy car,

not your paycheck, or your nice clothes -

but your family.

Family is all that matters to me,

from when I was just a small child to when I became 

a wife.

Thank You, I Love You

I have recently read a very nice blog post, "Worthless Women and the Men Who Make Them" by Dan Pearce of "Single Dad Laughing" blog. My cousin posted it on Facebook a few days ago and it wasn't until today that I had the time to read it.

It's a very interesting and good post. It's long and there are some bad words, but his main point is right on. It's about his address to the men in this world - their need to "stop stopping and looking" (at magazines, etc) that makes "real" women feel a lot less beautiful and worthless.You can read it if you want to. I strongly recommend it, but I'll leave the decision to you.

This post is not about that, though. This one is specifically for my husband. Yes, I'm going to put him on the spot - again.

I am so blessed to have a husband that makes me feel beautiful and with worth - every single day. Yes, even behind my tangled hair, mismatched clothes, fashion faux pas, unmaintained (though clipped) toe nails, and what not, I felt beautiful - all because of him. He constantly tells me every single day that I am beautiful.

I am a stay-home mom. And even though I know I could do so much more at home (make more homemade dinners, for one, or do the laundry on time, or fold our clothes right after the laundry was done, or iron his clothes for work), he doesn't really complain about my imperfections. Sure, he could say "why haven't you made some dinner yet?" every time he comes home without any food ready. Or he could say, "the clothes are getting wrinkled. I've already washed them for you. Why haven't you folded them yet?" But, I can't recall a time he ever said such things to me since day 1 of our marriage (or even dating days). What I can recall are the times he always mentioned the good things about me and the good things I've done - both for our home, our son, and for him.

While it is sometimes true that we don't need other people's opinion about us to make us feel beautiful/ugly, or worthy/worthless, it is also always true that kind words and good compliments can always raise our spirits. And I am just so blessed to have someone with me every single day of my life that does just that - raise my spirit everyday. While saying "yes" to him wasn't the least challenging experience I've ever had "friends-wise" (though it WAS and still IS one of the best decisions I've ever made),  every day of my life is a confirmation to me that I made the right choice and said the right word that day when he knelt down in front of me at the beach a little after sunrise and asked my hand for marriage. And I love him so.

God Bless the Broken Road - Rascal Flatts

My husband celebrated his birthday pretty recently.

And I really did not post any greeting on this blog on time,

just to be a little bit more private.

This is another tribute for him.
Belated happy birthday, beb!!!

Thanks for being a great husband to me

and father to our son.

We love you!

"Bless the Broken Road"

(Rascal Flatts)

I set out a narrow way many years ago

Hoping I would find true love along the broken road

But I got lost a time or two

Wiped my brow and kept pushing through

I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you.

Every long lost dream led me to where you are.

Others who broke my heart, they were like northern stars

Pointing me on my way into your loving arms.

This much I know is true

That God blessed the broken road

That led me straight to you.

Yes, he did.

I think about the years I spent just passing through.

I'd like to have the time I lost and give it back to you.

But you just smile and take my hand

You've been there, you understand.

It's all part of a grander plan that is coming true.

Every long lost dream led me to where you are.

Others who broke my heart, they were like northern stars

Pointing me on my way into your loving arms.

This much I know is true

That God blessed the broken road

That led me straight to you.

But I know I'm just rolling home into my lover's arms

This much I know is true

That God blessed the broken road

That led me straight to you.

IHeartFaces Challenge - My Summer in Review

This week at iheartfaces' is about, 

as it says in the title itself,

photos that tells us about how our summer went.

Well, my summer was full of new 

experiences and new homes.

First off, we celebrated my son's first birthday twice.

The first one was on his very birthday.

We took him to the Riverwalk Park in Bakersfield in the morning.

And then we drove to Valencia (CA) to meet

my grandparents and my uncle and aunt.

It was their first time to meet our son.

We had a simple birthday celebration for him.

Then his second birthday was celebrated on his father's side 

of the family in Sta. Maria (CA).

I liked it a lot because he got to spend his birthday

with his cousins, too.

We all went to the Lompoc pool in the afternoon

before the party.

And here are some more fun summer activities we had:

We went to the

Sequoia and Kings Canyon National Park

to see the General Sherman tree.

And then...

We hiked the Moro Rock before we drove back home

to Bakersfield.

That's our previous car being towed 

an hour before we went to Disneyland.

It broke the night before as we drove from Bakersfield to L.A.

Our son's first carousel ride (Disneyland), one of the last

rides we tried before we went home.

I totally love the picture of these cousins.

They seemed so stoked about their hats!

This beauty came home at lunchtime with my husband

on my birthday.

And part of my daily summertime routine:

playing with my son and letting him have fun -

even if it means it felt like Tazmanian Devil passed by our house.

And watching him spend time with his dad.

This was taken when we were packing up to leave Bakersfield.

We were on our way to move to Las Vegas.

Our son was helping his dad take the table apart.

All my summertime has basically just been having fun

being a mother to this wonderful happy little toddler boy:

and his dad...

Check out how some other people spent

their summer.

Go on over to iheartfaces now.

Just click on the button below: