The Big Move

It's been really really busy lately. For those of you who do not know, we're moving to the east coast for my husband's "job relocation." I think I lost sense of my inner clock since we have been doing a lot of traveling since the last days of June.

We are moving to Baltimore, MD! Tonight will be the last night we will all sleep on our beds, and it won't be until 2 or 3 weeks until we sleep on them again. Tomorrow, the professional movers are coming in at 8:00 am to pack our things, and someone else is taking away our Toyota Sienna minivan for shipping. Also, tomorrow will start our hotel life until our things arrive in Baltimore. We fly to Baltimore this weekend. It'll be our youngest's first time to fly in an airplane. We're so excited to see him experience that!

I'm blogging right now because I feel like I will lose my mind if I don't. I need some sort of outlet. I am so stressed just thinking of the days ahead, or even the next hour to come. There's just so many things to do before and after the move (i.e. packing, unpacking, finding a new doctor, changing address, internet connection, etc.) I wish I could do more than I can at the moment, but my hefty belly and aching body prevents me from doing so. But it's good to know that I am more than healthy enough to do enough. What's left right now is packing our remaining things that we need to bring with us for the start of our hotel life, and getting the pantry rid of food to be donated to the food bank, I think? That, and cleaning the house on Friday. CLEANING! Friday stresses me out most, I think.

How do I feel about this move? I am excited, anxious, and everything else mixed together. I sure love the green - trees, grass, bushes. Something I've been looking forward to. And oh, lots of things to do with our children! My husband and I never actually lived in a state/city where it snowed a lot for a long time, so this winter will be our first white Christmas! I got tired of living in the desert that I'm actually ready to leave it. The only thing that's making me not want to move is because I will AGAIN be pulled far away from my family and friends. I don't know if it's my pregnancy hormones, but sometimes I feel like I always have to be the one that has to deal with the loneliness of being away from family and friends.

But I can't complain. Believe it or not, I do see the blessings that came with this new transition and new page in our book of life as a family unit. Both material and spiritual things. And just thinking of those gives me enough strength to carry on and know that I can do this. It will be a good, fresh start. Looking forward to our new life!

P.S. - This makes all of our children born in 3 different states! Isn't that cool! ^.^

Potty Training 2.0

We spent the last 4 days potty training J. And for the past 4 days, I've been beyond stressed and emotional about it all. I had this battle in my head to give up and try again later,  or to keep going because it will "click" sooner or later. Giving up is never my thing when it comes to parenting. And for this one I didn't want to giving up because I had this faith on J that he can do this.

I did pray for help when I was at my lowest of emotions one night. I asked to help me know what to do or how to do it among many other things. It may sound cheesy to some to pray for help with potty training. But most parents will understand that they can't always do everything on their own, especially something like a rite of passage as potty training. Most of the time in our daily lives of raising children, we need that Divine help. I also learned growing up and still hear it until now that there is no such thing as asking for a little help from our Heavenly Father. Remember when I wrote about my driver's license test? Yeah, I still stand firm in my belief that whatever we ask of Him and we do our part, if it is for our own good we will get it.

Well, what I've been getting was to try again later because J is just not ready. But it was confusing me with not wanting to give up. Today I was so stressed about it that it made me cry a lot. Maybe it had something to do with my pregnancy hormones as well, hehe! So I posted about my potty training stress in our private facebook group (moms) made by my friend, and they all said what I've been thinking about. To try again later. So for now, J is back on pull-ups because I'm still looking for his diapers at the moment, haha!.

J has certainly taught me a lot of things. For one is patience. LONG patience. LOVING patience. More kindness. More love. More understanding. More humility. We teach them that things don't always go their way. Well it goes the same way for us, too. He taught me that this weekend.

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So now I will tuck away his three sticker-filled potty charts and write in my journal what this experience has taught me. It's only been four days but I learned so many things from it. I am so glad J was born to us. He fills our lives with more "color" and more variety and more fun.. and silliness. I will always be forever grateful for the things they teach me each day. Parenthood is tough but it really is so worth it.

Things I Wanna Do

I was sitting here all caught up with my journal again, and the boys are still taking their naps. When they are sleeping and I'm all by myself, I just seem to contemplate on many things. But today I was thinking of the things that I really want to do and that I really plan to do along the way..

* Teach C how to spell and write his whole name (and maybe how to read even just the basic words). 
- I've been pretty good at home schooling (in a way) this little smart guy before J was born. But since after having his brother, I feel like C has been stuck with what he knew before his little brother was born. The Alphabet, counting to 20, puzzles, love for reading books, shapes, colors, etc. I think it's time to move him up a notch and teach him how to at least write/read. He knows the sounds of the letters now so maybe teaching him how to read someday won't be as hard.

* Teach J the Alphabet, numbers 1-10, shapes, puzzles, colors, etc.
- It was about this age when C started recognizing these better. With C, I used to draw the letters, numbers, and shapes for him and then asked him what they were. For colors, we used crayons or any colorful thing. I know we shouldn't compare and I'm not. J can grow on his own timeline, but I want to provide him the learning experiences, too. The other night J said "A, B, C" on his own while holding out a rubber B for the bath tub. I told him, "B." He replied, "B! A... B.. C!" So cute!

* Teach the children their other language
- I know I've talked about this on and off, and it's been on and off in the house. They have more Filipino blood in them than anything else. I got used to seeing them as Americans. I haven't been seeing them as half-Filipinos. I need to be more consistent when I speak to them. Getting used to speaking English to them in a non-Filipino environment just makes it harder for me to REMEMBER to speak Tagalog to them. I need to do better.

* Read more books with my boys. Go out more with my boys. Play with them more. Be more kind and patient to them. Give them my full attention. Provide them with better exploration experiences like I did when I was young (playing in the rain and mud, looking closely at plants and tiny insects, catching a dragonfly, etc). All the good parenty stuff. Love them better. Be more involved with them.

* Make my projects.

- So far these are:
(1) Making a growth chart. This was originally planned for right after Jesse finished all his CPA test, but it still collects dust in our garage. We have the wood and a few sanding things. We need the paint and whatever else we needed to make it. The wood is not straight so it's kind of a little unmotivating.
(2)  Repaint the wall shelf for the bathroom or somewhere else that we got for $1.50 (that shelf that sticks against a wall and there are hooks underneath it. I don't know what it's called).
(3) J's Photobook of his first year. 
(4) Photobook of the years I haven't done which are 2011 and 2012. I haven't been organizing my hard drive and editing our photos, thus not being able to upload to Shutterfly (I want our uploaded photos looking nice so they're ready for printing). I can't tell you how many Free 101 4x6 prints and free photobooks from Shutterfly that I've missed. This (editing and uploading photos) is my main project this year.

* Deep clean our house. Hang picture frames on the wall (haven't done so since we left Hawai'i in 2010).

* Get our children's double citizenship
- Yes, they are automatically American citizens and at the same time Filipino citizens. We just need to do the paperwork for it.

* Cook more yummy and healthy dinners every day right before my husband comes home from work. 
- I was getting good at meal planning before this month came. But ever since we all got sick and are still trying to get better, and my husband's so busy with his Ethics test and his motorcycle licensing, I kind of put the dinner-making on hold. Maybe I can try making freezer meals one of these days.

* Learn how to make myself look pretty and presentable
- Yes, my husband tells me all the time that I am pretty. There was one day, though, where I asked for his honest opinion and he said, "Yeah, I'd like to see you try sometimes." If you know me, I'm the kind of gal who doesn't wear make-up. I used to at least fix my hair and put on cute outfits pre-married life. But even straightening my hair went out the window after I became a mom. Right now this "make me pretty" thing is kind of unmotivating because I don't like shopping for make-ups and nice clothes - and those are what I don't have at the moment. I live with just my hair brush.

I recently bought several tiny nail polishes from Amazon, though, and started growing my nails out a bit. I'll start from there, I think. Then maybe I can thread my eyebrows someday but that just looks tricky right now. I want to look nicer for my husband especially for when we have dinners with his boss(es). He deserves so much more than what he sees right now.

There are really so many more things besides these that I want to do for my family. I am honestly just usually lazy. My boys are the easiest children to take care of, ever, and I have all the time to myself if I wanted to do these. Sometimes I just like to beat myself hard for not being the kind of wife and mom that I could and should be.

Thank-You Cards

J turned one a little less than two months ago. His birthday was celebrated MUCH MUCH simpler than his older brother's first birthday. But the feeling's the same - we, as his parents, are happy and blessed to have him in our lives. He brings us so much joy and happiness everyday.

His awesome relatives didn't forget him on his birthday, though, despite the simplicity of his birthday celebration. My in-laws helped us with his birthday cake, and sent him some gifts, too. So did his cousins from my sister-in-law, and his great-grandfather (my mother-in-law's father). 

I haven't crafted in a long time, but I figured I wouldn't let this one pass without a thank-you note to all of them, for remembering our boy on his special day. So here they are:

For my in-laws.

For J's great-grandpa.

And for his cousins.

I tried hard to think that day on how to make them look great, but nothing came up in my mind. I guess I am out of practice. I made the butterfly one first, then the yellow card, and last the one with the bunting. The butterfly one wasn't actually blue/turquoise at first. The original card blended great with the red color, but as soon as I finished making it, I accidentally put my stamp pad upside down (which was open) on top of the card, and I didn't have anymore extra of the same color to use, so it became turquoise.

Making these in one day was therapeutic to me (it takes me hours to come up with a template/layout because I'm a visual person when it comes to things like this. I have to take all my things out and lay them out in front of me to see if this color goes with that, etc.). My husband even took the kids out to the park when they got up from their naps that day, so I could finish the second one I was working on then (the yellow one on the very top).

I love my family from my husband's side. They are really involved with us and our kids. I need to be better in sending out cards on special occasions just like they did for us.

Day After: Park & New Craft Table

Yesterday, the day after I quit my game, was interesting. It was hard at the start of the day not having my tool for social life. I was bored to death when the kids took a nap. I called it "going through withdrawals." :P I wasn't bored when they were awake. I've always loved watching them play and have a little bit of rivalry every now and then. But when they went down for a nap, I was dreadfully bored. But quitting the game was liberating - in the sense that, even though my mind still wandered through leveling a player, it immediately remembered it's OVER. Then brain actually started relaxing a bit more throughout the day than when I played the game.

The entire afternoon was kind of depressing because I was bored. I think I was also affected a little bit by the depressing mood of the book that I've been reading. It's a great book, I was just at the part where she was really depressed, the parts where two of her kids didn't want to see her (Stephanie Nielson's "Heaven is Here"). So I think that sort of affected my mood for the day.

But as soon as the kids woke up again at 3:00 pm (usually the time I put them down for a nap), we played a little bit more inside the house and had some snacks until it was cool enough to go outside and play. It was 5:00 pm and play they did! There were barely anyone at the park. I don't know if it was the heat or because school is about to start. But we had the park for ourselves. C totally loved running through the sprinklers and showers. J was so curious about the doves and birds that were eating the crumbs of his snacks that I threw on the grass.

Earlier that day, Jesse told me that my craft table had shipped to the nearby Walmart store we picked out to pick it up from. So I was excited, and my gloomy mood was lifted. I had asked him to pick us up at the park on his way home from work because I just didn't feel like walking back home in the heat. Just as he arrived to pick us up (with my table in the trunk), the ice cream truck just arrived as well. I was as much excited as C was, but we didn't have cash so Jesse just bought one for C using some of the change we had in our car. He was messy but happy. I let him run around the sprinklers one more time to wash the sticky stuff off of him, then we went home.

Look at those red cheeks! So cute! J loved being in the swing. He didn't like having his shoes on, though.

That night, we had a fun time at dinner. So lately every dinner, Jesse reads some chapters of Joshua from the Bible to us. Usually it was always only when C is still the only one left eating. But the scenario is always the same. When Jesse stops talking, the kids stop talking. As soon as Jesse uttered one word, either J or C will start talking to each other, blowing raspberries in the air, and yelling "AAAAAAAH!!!!" It was funny! I couldn't help but laugh last night at the scene. Next time, maybe tonight, I'll take a video for good time's sake when they grow up.

Jesse and C went upstairs as soon as the reading was done, and I stayed downstairs doing the dishes while J ran around the living room and kitchen with assortment of toys in his hands. He's just the cutest little toddler. He's still wobbly when he walks even though it's been a month since he started walking. I stayed downstairs a little longer to wait for Jesse to finish up with the table (I didn't want J to bother him) but it was getting late so we put J down to bed.

C was "helping" his dad put my craft table together. He was basically just playing with the styrofoams, putting them on top of each other, and singing "Bob the Builder, can we fix it! Bob the builder, yes we can!" And he can sing the whole song (with some words missing, of course). So cute! I should have taken a video of it.

It was kind of late than the usual bedtime for C but he wanted to stay up as long as we were putting the table together. He went to bed right away after we finished at 10:00 pm. Now I'm ready to stack it up with my craft things. 

I promised myself, even before I gave birth with C in Hawai'i, that this hobby won't take over my time for my children. Even blogging is only done when they're taking a nap (like now). Besides, I can barely make anything anyway if they were awake. Haha! I can't wait to see what things I can make again. Oooh, and I want to learn how to sew next (when we have a little bit more budget to buy a sewing machine in the next few years).

My craft table. Printer will be taken out as soon as we find a cheap table for it from the thrift stores. I think Jesse was just as happy as I was when we were putting it together last night. He even asked if I was sure I wanted the printer there because it's my CRAFT table. :P So sweet!

I Am Grateful

- for being with my own little family everyday.
- for the Priesthood and the men who try their best to be worthy of it.
- for the talents and gifts that each and every one in this world has.

Last month, as many of you already know, my husband has had a few series of mini-strokes/TIA. The first time was the worst. I wanted to stay with him at the hospital all night, but I couldn't. When he described to me his experience of his stroke, I couldn't imagine him being all that. He said he couldn't  think properly, couldn't remember some things he knew very well, like phone numbers. He couldn't say the right words that he wanted to say, like saying "F" instead of saying "seven" even though he knew he wanted to say "seven." I just couldn't imagine him being like that.

Paid a visit again the next day. C was checking out his Dad's ears with a portable night light provided by the hospital.

The second and third time it happened, I was worried. I thought I would be scared, but I wasn't. I just had this feeling that everything will be okay. But, you know, as a wife I couldn't help being worried. After all, my husband is still young and stroke usually happens to someone older. Mr. Wikipedia says people 55 years or older are at a higher risk of TIA. And we are half-way younger than that.

When the doctor released my husband from the hospital the first time it happened, he said he was healthy and doesn't really need any medication. But they still don't know what's triggering/causing his symptoms to happen. Nevertheless, I am still grateful for the gifts bestowed upon them to heal people.

I am thankful that my husband has so many fellow LDS members in his job. When his symptoms happened the third time, one of his co-workers was able to give him a Priesthood blessing as soon as they pulled over to the front door of the emergency department. He was released from the ER soon after that, and I was able to pick him up. All these series of strokes happened in just five days.

Today, when he came home, he said he felt the symptoms again at work. Oh the power of prayer! He told me he said a prayer to please make it stop. And it did. And he knew he had to walk around and relax a little bit and it worked.

I am hopeful that they will find out the reason(s) why he's having these symptoms with the next 2 tests that he's supposed to have this month. Right now, I am happy to be with him everyday, and with our little boys, too.

On a lighter note, I am grateful for the house we found to move into and rent for the next year (or so, who knows). It's really close to the nice park here. The boys and I can go play outside a lot now, even without the car! And I like how the downstairs are all tiles but the stairs and the whole upstairs are carpeted. Oh, and it has a little backyard. The owner was a little embarrassed about it, but we told him, "we don't even have a backyard in where we live right now." Hahaha! Woohoo! I'm excited to move! At least I'm not 36 weeks pregnant this time.

The Hair!!!

So, last Sunday (and the previous Sundays whenever I wasn't too tired to go to church or if I wasn't confined in the mother's room), I had A LOT of comments about my son's hair. Two years ago, I had the same experience with our first. He had thick, black hair when he was a born (and he never EVER lose all of his hair) and everybody who saw him always mentioned "look at his hair! it's so gorgeous!"

Less than a month old

Then he grew up a few months older, and his hair a few curly lengths longer that we had to give him his first haircut at 10 months old...

His lei (from his dad) makes me miss Hawaii!

Oblivious at what's coming up. He was getting the haircut, not daddy.

Man, I can't believe that haircut was just early last year, 2010. It felt like ages ago.

Ta-da!

Actually I thought my husband was just going to ask the lady to cut off our son's bangs but then he told her to cut the whole thing and I was like, "HUH?!?" That night it felt like I was holding somebody else's baby. I was looking for the curls I used to touch whenever I nursed him. Hehehe.

So the same comments are being given to us now with our second son, "look at his hair! It's gorgeous!" but this time it wasn't "It's so curly" but rather, "it's standing up!" Yup, it's standing up... just like mommy's when she was a baby. He may not look like me anywhere else in his face (unlike his brother who got my eyes, at least. Oh! They both got my nose!!!), but he sure did get my "standing ovation" hairstyle!

Yeah, yeah, I was chubby.

3 months old

I don't know when he will need his first haircut but his hair is starting to curl up a little bit - not as much as his brother's was, though.

So, yes, like I said, some of the sisters in our ward took notice of his hair. One of them even said, "I love seeing his hair! It just makes you feel happy!" Haha! I didn't know hair can make you feel happy!

I think all of our children will be born with a lot of hair! Their dad had thick hair when he was a baby, and so did their mom. It'll be amazing if we have a baby who's almost bald.

If Only I Was An Octopus

This is just very random but I just want to share this. C has been an awesome "kuya" (big brother) ever since we had his little brother. He's never shown any jealousy and he never hurts his little brother on purpose. But one thing changed, well maybe a couple.

I used to be able to leave him in one room when I need to get something done. But now if I am not within his sight, you will hear a slow wailing sound building up from him (like a low ambulance siren) as he utters the words "I"... and then followed by "want Mommy!" Even telling him that "I'm right here" is no longer enough. HE NEEDS TO SEE ME!

After naps is a bit of the same story - depending on who wakes up first. C has always been content, since he was a baby, to cuddle with me after he wakes up from his nap/sleep. It's still the same way now. But what's tough is when his little brother wakes up first in their nap, crying. I'll go take J and cradle him, and then next thing you'll hear from the other bedroom is, "Iiiiii want Mommy!!! I want mommy! I want mommy!" C will get up and check us out. I tell him to come over but he won't. It's like, "I want you and you alone, mom! Let's cuddle in your bed - just you and I" thing. There was actually one time I was carrying both of them in each arm. Boy my arms were sore! If only I was an octopus... :P 

Note to Self - It Is What God Gave You Time For

There are so many things I want to do but I 'chose' not to because I have other priorities - our kids. But there are days that I sometimes wish I could just disappear and do everything I want (my hobbies mostly). Of course, I am thankful for our sons but I guess I can say it's also just human for me to sometimes wish that I can spend a lot of time for myself - to read books, to scrapbook, to go to places (w/o kids in tow), etc. 

Tonight my husband read something to us (yes, including our two sons) as we all just "hung-out" in our bedroom - actually ON our queen size memory foam bed. It was a talk given by Elder Neil L. Andersen on last month's General Conference. There was one paragraph that really hit home to me. He said:

Many voices in the world today marginalize the importance of having children or suggest delaying or limiting children in a family. My daughters recently referred me to a blog written by a Christian mother [not of our faith] with five children. She commented: "[Growing] up in this culture, it is very hard to get a biblical perspective on motherhood. ... Children rank way below college. Below world travel for sure. Below the ability to go out at night at your leisure. Below honing your body at the gym. Below any job you may have or hope to get." She then adds: "Motherhood is not a hobby, it is a calling. You do not collect children because you find them cuter than stamps. It is not something to do if you can squeeze time in. It is what God gave you time for."

Well, that being said, I felt guilty right away and thankful (for that message) at the same time. She (whoever she is) is right: motherhood is a calling. Never mind my hobby to make greeting cards or read books.  My calling is with my family. We (my husband and I) are raising God's children and He entrusted us to meet their needs physically, emotionally, and spiritually (with His help). It is indeed a divine calling. My family is what God gave me time for. I have to remember that.

Side note: I love stamps but children are definitely CUTER than stamps. Hehe!

Lullabies

What it was SOMETIMES like whenever I tried to put J down for a nap:

Me: "Hmmm..hmm..hmmm..." (humming to Rock-a-bye Baby while rocking the baby)
J: (looks puzzled, then...) "Waaaa!!!"

Me: (change of song - Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star) "Mm mm.. Mm mm.. Mmm mmm mmm.."

J: (even louder) "WAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!"

Me: (Brahm's lullaby) "Mmm mm mmm... Mmm mmm mmm.."

J: (shrieks) "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

C (jumping in the background): "Mommy listen to me!"

Me: "All right, J." (I let him go and let the computer sing the songs for him)

J: (nods off to lalala land in a few minutes)

I'm glad those days are over. NO, I don't hum lullabies to him anymore. He always gets mad at me whenever I tried. My husband thinks it's funny. I get the point - I can't sing. Ha! Oh poor mommy! Hahaha!!! Well, at least I had my chance when C was the baby - he loved it. I still want our old Mac back, though, so I can upload some photos. By the way, it was a great night last night. Our 2 1/2 months old slept from 9pm-6:30am. WOOHOOO!!!!

What I Can Change

I am telling you right now, this is probably the most honest, true-to-my-own-life post I've ever written. [Deep sigh] here goes...

Life as a stay-home mom with a toddler and a newborn and with only one car is like a love/hate relationship to me. Love because I love being a mother and I love our boys so much! Hate because I just barely had the freedom to drive around and get out, and now I find myself stuck at home again. Sure I can walk around the block with our kids, but I think I'd rather take them to the park where I can just hold our newborn and let my toddler run and play around the slides as freely as he wants to than to walk around the block and keep telling him to "watch out! there's a car!" while pushing his little brother in the stroller.

Each morning/dawn, it feels like I don't want to get up and start the day. It feels like I want this:

... if only it was possible. Okay, buckle up for the complaints...

(1) Sometimes I just want a huge break from everything. But seeing that I'm the only one here with no family or close friends nearby (except for the Brenemans), it's hard to find that break. It's a good thing that right now I got that break (thus, this blog) but most of the time it's hard to get that break. Sometimes being home alone with the kids makes me feel lonely.

(2) I find myself wishing most of the time that our newborn is crawling now and sitting up. It's like I can't wait for him to grow up so our toddler can play with him and we can go out more. I think one major thing that makes me feel that way is because

(3) I want to get done with breastfeeding. I nursed our first son until he was 15 months old and it was only after then that I had real fun going out because he wasn't depending on my physical body anymore for his milk. Seriously, travelling while your kid is breastfeeding is not as convenient to some mothers like me as it is to others (even though some may argue otherwise). When we had our first son, I hated looking for a bathroom to nurse when we ate out for dinner, or when I nursed in our car multiple times while sweating all over my body because our first son DID NOT want to breastfeed with a nursing cover on and he wasn't taking a bottle (even with my expressed milk). It was really inconvenient whenever we traveled. I want to be done with breastfeeding because then I won't have to do those things anymore when we're out and about, I will be able to sleep better and actually sleep on my side, and I can get rid of these annoying breast pads. That thinking is very selfish of me, though. 

There are so many things I think about everyday that I wish I could do right now, like going back to reading books without being interrupted, or crafting, or cleaning the house/taking a shower/eating without needing to hurry up because the baby will be waking up soon. Sometimes thinking about these things make me sad and get depressed. But there is one thing that got stuck with me at church last Sunday when our Bishop's former first counselor gave his talk. He talked about his Facebook friend who posted (I'm paraphrasing), "some people will never change" and then he replied, "that might be true but what we can change is how we perceive that person." I think I can put that philosophy in my own life right now... there are things I can't change - being stuck in the house, not being able to take a break most of the time, figuring out how to give equal attention to two kids simultaneously, our newborn being a newborn still, etc. But what I can change is how I react/face these things - being thankful that we have a house, being thankful that we have children who add joy to our lives (as well as tired bodies.. hehe), being thankful that our firstborn is understanding and loves his little brother and was never jealous, taking in every sweet smile and little chuckles that our baby makes because HE WILL grow up sooner than I thought, and just knowing that through breastfeeding I am giving our newborn the best food for him right now ... and many other positive things I can put in my mind. 

I know it will not be as easy as it sounds at some days. Of course, there will be bad days (like when I was really hungry but I was holding our crying newborn who just barely ate while watching our toddler have his lunch) as well as good days (such as today). But I can try to be more positive. I think it's my husband who told me this (who probably heard/read it somewhere), "Are you a cup half-full or half-empty?" Then I said I want to be the "half-full." He then replied, "I'm just grateful there's a cup."

Yes, I know someday it'll be better. I'll be having so much fun with my sons sooner than I thought, no matter where we are - indoors or out.

P.S. Before I started this blog (after my quick shower), our newborn was starting to wake up after only half an hour of taking a snooze. He is learning to put his thumb in his mouth and I guess that wakes him up. I was so tired so I prayed for a break... and our Father did give me a break long enough to finish this post. Our newborn fell asleep again on his own, and our toddler remained sleeping without a peep. He hears and He listens.

Life's Changes...

Several weeks ago, Parents.com asked their Facebook fans about the ways their lives changed when they had their baby. I've always meant to post a blog about it, too, even though I've answered their question as well but I never really had the time to do so. 

Today, they finally posted those responses on their website called, "Readers Reveal: Surprising Ways Life Changes When You Become a Parent." I would like to echo some of their responses here and my own insights:

* A New Respect for Mom - it is true. When I became a mother, I have always wondered about how my mother (and my mother-in-law) did certain things that I took for granted as a kid. For example, I am not a big fan of going out for long hours with a baby. I sometimes wondered how my parents took us out as a whole family (of 7 kids) on Saturdays? We didn't have our own car so that's even harder, I guess?

* You See the Big Picture - I am both living in the present and for the future. Everything that my husband and I do right now as a couple has always been for our family both in the present time and in the future but it was magnified when we both became parents. The things that we do are for our small family no matter what those are - the things we teach them, the money we save for them, the relationship we build with them, and many more - they are all for the present time and also for the future.

* Baby Makes Your Day - I am a stay-home mom and even though I always see our son, it still ALWAYS makes my day whenever I see him laugh, smile, play, be silly, etc. I know it makes his dad's day even much better whenever he comes home from work. Sometimes I am having a tough time, and our son's little touch on my face with his round eyes right in front of mine (especially whenever he smiles his big smile) were enough to cheer me up.

* A New Timeline - this one I am not a big fan of. To be honest, this is one of the things I am not looking forward to when we have baby #2. I just don't like going out with a baby, or preparing to go somewhere and worrying about how I still have to do this or that before you can head out the door. With our first son, I didn't like how I was always worried that he would "starve to death" whenever we were out and about because he would NEVER take a bottle from me (or his daddy) and he wouldn't nurse with a nursing cover either unless we are hiding inside the car, the public restroom, or our bedroom. I always had to estimate what time we had to be out of the door and the time we have to get back before the world (at least my world) will come to an end. But you gotta do what you gotta do most of the time. I'm sure I will have another "timeline" once our baby is born.

* Personal Time - this entry from the website made me laugh. Anyway, it is true though. For the longest time, I couldn't go to the bathroom on my own without our little one following me around. It's gotten better now, though. Also, yes, I missed a lot of showers. I never thought that it's true - SHOWER is not a luxury mothers can have. If they ever have the time to shower, it needs to be really fast (unless they have somebody else watching their kiddos for them). I even stopped reading books for myself now, and was switched to reading Dr. Seuss or Thomas the Tank Engine.

* A New Perspective - one of my favorites. As an adult, there are many things I take for granted in life. Our little buddy is a good "reminder" for me to appreciate the simple things in life that I mostly take for granted. There was one afternoon when C saw a colony of ants "walking" on our wall. They were really tiny. Yet he saw them and was in ultimate AWE of them. He spent more than half an hour just watching them crawl and trying to get them to crawl on his arms (which he ended up smashing by accident). It was the cutest thing.

* Healthier Diet - yes, from the day we found out that I'm pregnant with our first, we became more conscious about what we eat. Sometimes I would sneak some ice cream here and there but most of the time, I obey my husband's "eat whole wheat bread instead of white" mindset. Now that our little one is a toddler, we still try to give him healthy meals and snacks. When I was single, I ate whatever I wanted to eat. Hahaha!

* Your Spouse is More Important - life changes when you have a baby, even your marriage. Whether it turns towards the bad side or the good side, it's up to the couple. My husband has always been more important to me even before we had our children. I always rely on him, as well. I love seeing him develop both as a husband first and then a father everyday.

* No Sleep, No Problem - I was really amazed how possible it can really be. For the first 2 months when our first child was born (I know I'm lucky), I was the one with the most "awake" hours than anybody else in our little family. But I was amazed how I could still go through the day no matter how much lack of sleep I had.

* Movie Makeover - besides what they said on the website that you watch the same movie "50 times a day," I would add that our Netflix queue (or whatever movie we watch) is filled up with animated cartoons. If we weren't watching anything from Netflix (say going out to the theaters), we always picked the one that was "child appropriate" even though we wanted to watch something else.

* Who's Looking After Mom - one of my least favorite is getting sick and there's nobody to take care of me but I still have to take care of our son, do chores, etc. I still had to get up no matter how badly I wanted to stay in bed.

* All About Baby - it sums it all. It's not just about me anymore. I don't care about myself anymore. Of course, my husband still comes first. But after him, it's all about our baby - our children. Everything I do everyday is for all of them... no matter how tired I was, or how bad my day is going. When I'm tired (especially now that I am 39 weeks pregnant), I push myself to keep moving, to try to keep playing and spending time with our little one, and preparing for our second baby. I watch everything I do and say, and at least try to do my best to be a good example to them (though I still have A LOT of room for improvement). It's amazing how much love parents can have for their children. I love them so much, it is overflowing inside me. It always makes me realize how wonderful it is to know that if I could love a child this much, our Heavenly Father loves us so much more - and it is such a good feeling to know that His love is more perfect than what I have.

Toddler Bed

My days of good night's rest has ended 2 months earlier than my anticipated time (new baby's first week)... it was when we switched C from this:

... to this: 

He loves his new big boy bed - and also the freedom that came with it - freedom to get out of his room AS MANY TIMES AS HE WANTS whenever he wants to, even if it is at 3 in the morning (or earlier). I like that he likes his bed - but I don't like the fact that he can get out now whenever he wants to. 

He won't really cry whenever he woke up in the middle of the night, though. He'll just silently walk up to my side of our bed, pat me gently on my back (or touch my cheeks) 'til I wake up and wait for me to go back with him in his room to put him back to bed. Then I'll go back to our room, and a few minutes later he's back again. Sometime's he'll stop doing it after a while but I am just so tired to keep doing it that I resort to lying down next to his bed. We have a foldable cushion/mattress (whatever that was called) lying on the floor next to his bed for whenever I need to stay with him in the middle of the night. It isn't the most comfortable place to sleep in for me right now but at least I won't have to get up and walk back and forth in the middle of the night for the whole night. At least with the cushion, I can just reach out my hands to C whenever he wakes up and he'll go back to sleep.

We've thought about putting him back in his crib (and I'm still thinking about it) but I just don't want to go back there and start on the toddler bed someday all over again - especially on the days that we have our newborn. That will be tougher than now, so I want to get him used to it now. Me staying with him for a while (and then leaving him alone after a few weeks or so) always worked when he was getting used to his crib, so I hope it will still work with his big boy bed.

Well... I am glad to say I think I've found the trick to it! When he was using his crib, he didn't mind his door being shut or at least he didn't say so or act like it. Last night, he cried (for the first time) each time I closed the door - 'til I left it open and let some light in. He stayed there the whole night 'til 5:45am this morning (an improvement, actually). I'm currently doing it right now again for his nap (the door's wide open) and he hasn't gone out yet. I can't say yet if this trick works because he normally stays in his bed for naps 'til he falls asleep, but not for bed time. So we'll see tonight. Wish me luck! If you have any suggestions to share, please feel free to let me know! :) 

Babies and a Tie

I almost forgot to post about the latest (and so far the last) handmade cards I made last month but it's never too late, right?!? :)

CARD #1: For my sister-in-law, Sarah:

She recently gave birth to a healthy 10 pound baby boy! CONGRATULATIONS!!!

Card #2: For a sister in our ward at Church, Elise Burnett:

Elise is due to give birth some time this month. It's their first baby so it's really exciting!

Cards #3: For Jesse (Father's day card)

I used to fold papers into a shirt like this back in high school and I almost forgot how to do it. The tie I used is from a Father's day sticker set that I got from Michael's. The next card was made by C, I only helped him how to make his very first handmade card:

He had so much fun tracing his hands with me, coloring the greeting card and the envelope, and adhering the "I heart my Daddy" printout onto another card stock paper. He was still kind of oblivious of what we were doing but I am just glad he was able to make it with me for Father's day.