Advice Wipes

I am grateful to have parents and parents-in-law who never dictated/instructed us how to raise our children. They let us learn this all on our own and trust our instincts, and only gave us advice when we asked.

I have long since stopped giving advice to any one in any thing, especially anything about parenting, unless they asked me. These are some of my experiences of a wake-up call:

1) Back some years ago, a mom with a second adopted baby cried out on Facebook that she is having a tough time. Having had a second baby myself, having known how dreadful postpartum depression is, having BEEN THERE and thinking that she doesn't even have to deal with the pains of recovering from birthing or engorgement, I eagerly jumped up and commented it will be okay and it will pass. A mutual friend commented that whoever says that don't really know what they are talking about ... how the heck should they know what they are talking about because they do not know what you are going through. Of course it offended me because I have had PPD, I have had a hard time recovering emotionally and physically, and I felt totally qualified to say IT WILL PASS, it will be okay. But then I realized it was not my place to say such things. It was not what that mom needed to hear from me.

2) In no way bragging, my kids were always good travelers when we used to live in Las Vegas. Our drive to my in-laws usually took 6 hours, and we have survived it without iPads or iPhones in the car (except for me, haha!). One day one of my close friends got a van with those built-in DVD players and she posted on Facebook how happy she was that her kids now can watch movies while they drive. I arrogantly commented, "I'd rather talk to my kids" and she casually responded, "ouch." I felt like slapping my face for hurting her and I immediately apologized.

3) If any of you remember my post some months ago about an "On This Day" post I made when my first child was a toddler, you will recall that I said the AAP suggests no more than 1 hr (or something) of watching tv for toddlers 2 and up and none at all for babies younger than that. I bragged, saying we have survived our days without TV, etc. On my "On This Day" repost, I said I was laughing at my past self (because ever since J was born, that parenting style went outside the window even though I only let C watch nursery things like the alphabet, colors, shapes, etc). I saw that younger version of me as an arrogant, pompous parent, and I was laughing at my her thinking "Oooh, you're in so much trouble."

So, yes, I have stopped (and still trying to stop) giving unsolicited advice to parents on how to raise their kids unless I was asked how I did certain things. The only thing that matters is that they love them and that they are doing the best they can in the best way they know how while dealing with their own weaknesses and shortcomings.

 Elder M. Russell Ballard has said, "There is no one perfect way to be a good mother. Each situation is unique. Each mother has different challenges, different skills and abilities, and certainly different children. The choice is different and unique for each mother and each family. Many are able to be “full-time moms,” at least during the most formative years of their children’s lives, and many others would like to be. Some may have to work part-or full-time; some may work at home; some may divide their lives into periods of home and family and work. What matters is that a mother loves her children deeply and, in keeping with the devotion she has for God and her husband, prioritizes them above all else."  (Daughters of God, Apr. 2008)

Note to Self: The Last Time

My husband showed this post to me when we just had our 3rd baby, and I was going through a rough and tough time. Wanted to share it as well to you. (I googled the poem again):

The Last Time

From the moment you hold your baby in your arms,

you will never be the same.

You might long for the person you were before,

when you had freedom and time,

And nothing in particular to worry about.

You will know tiredness like you never knew it before,

And days will run into days that are exactly the same,

Full of feedings and burping,

Nappy changes and crying,

Whining and fighting,

Naps or a lack of naps,

It might seem like a never-ending cycle.

But don't forget...

There is a last time for everything.

There will come a time when you will feed your baby

for the very last time.

They will fall asleep on you after a long day

And it will be the last time you ever hold your sleeping child.

One day you will carry them on your hip,

then set them down,

And never pick them up that way again.

You will scrub their hair in the bath one night

And from that day on they will want to bathe alone.

They will hold your hand to cross the road,

Then never reach for it again.

They will creep into your room at midnight for cuddles,

And it will be the last night you ever wake to this.

One afternoon you will sing "the wheels on the bus"

and do all the actions,

Then never sing them that song again.

They will kiss you goodbye at the school gate,

The next day they will ask to walk to the gate alone.

You will read a final bedtime story and wipe your last dirty face.

They will one day run to you with arms raised,

for the very last time.

The thing is, you won't even know it's the last time

Until there are no more times, and even then,

it will take you a while to realise.

So while you are living in these times,

Remember there are only so many of them

And when they are gone,

You will yearn for just one more day of them

For one last time.

- Author unknown

I've had some of these last times with my eldest and I do miss those times with him. I still have two young-uns to give me those again for one last time.

38 Weeks

The crib is set up. The pack-n-play, too (because our room is small to put the crib in there, so her crib stayed in her room while her pack-n-play is going to be in our room while she's sleeping with us). I've taken the diaper box out (old diapers from J, they don't expire you know) and stored it in her room along with my personal nursing things. I've washed her "just enough" amount of clothes (we still need to get her some winter clothes, she only has mostly onesies and footed sleepers haha!), folded and tucked them neatly away.

My planner has been filled since last Sunday to the day before she's due to come - things I need to do/clean/prepare (freezer meals, anyone?) before the big day - if she does wait 'til that day. The hospital bag lay open on her crib, waiting to be filled with last items like toiletries or cellphone chargers. The rechargeable batteries have been collected and are now being charged for future repeated use (crib mobile, swing, vibrating chair, toys, etc).

I look at my planner and see that on a particular day, I have to clean this and that because it will probably be months before I get to do it again (*cough* the oven, for example, which was, and still is, really dirty when we moved in). "Ooh, maybe sterilize her bottles on this day so it's not so far away from her due date." Clean the bathrooms, clean the shower, clean the windows and glass doors (also dirty when we moved in, like it hasn't been cleaned for more than a year), clean the vents (also dirty when we moved in. They can actually catch on fire easily with the amount of dust stuck in them), clean the floors, etc. I am nesting, my heart and spirit are willing but my body isn't.

I am big. Well, at least my belly is big. I can't find a comfortable position anymore. Not sitting up, not lying down, and definitely not standing up. I can't count how many times I almost fell trying to go downstairs just because I can no longer see where I'm stepping at, and most of the time it's when I walked my son to school.

Yes, walk. I hate it now because it hurts me. Well at least I hate it FOR NOW while I'm in pain doing it, but I like the short moment it gives me each way to be with my boys and not anything else. Plus it's like a forced kind of exercise before I give birth, walking to and from school five days a week.

Sleeping is a pain. Literally. I've been having a lot of Braxton Hicks lately and aside from having to wake up every 30 minutes or so to go pee, sometimes the Braxton Hicks keep me up an hour or two a stretch on the nights that it visits me. I just look at it this way: I can go back to sleep right away. With a newborn, that's not the case. Especially if you're the one with the food supply. So for now I'll take the pains and discomfort and cherish how I actually have it easier right now.

It's kind of nerve-wracking thinking that next weekend is my last weekend with just our two boys and then our lives will change again. She'll join our small family and my routine will be thrown off. To be honest, I have mixed feelings at the moment. Knowing how I've been with my first two children, I am scared that I will be the same when she comes. You know, the baby blues. Emotional roller coaster, constant sickness (I think it was mastitis though I was never diagnosed because I never went to see a doctor each time I got sick), loneliness, fatigue, etc. The whole package.

And J. I wish I could spend more time alone with him now that his older brother is in school. I've enjoyed the short time (a month by the time I give birth) of alone time I've had with him - something we never really had since he was born. It made our bond stronger as a mother and son. I got to know him more. I wish I could do more for him - take him to places, run with him (I can't), play more "boyish" stuff with him, read comfortably with him, explore this new State we live in with him - now that we have the chance to be together, just me and him. But I can't. I am limited to my limited amount of daily strength that I need to share with all of my boys/man. At times I want this just-me-and-J-time to last longer - a couple of months more or so with me in full capacity to do a lot more than I can now with him - to make up for the three years that he hardly had any chance to spend one-on-one time with me. But that's not possible. How am I ever going to give him that alone-time attention again that he just barely got? I think in some ways I'm not ready to give it up just yet.

But despite all these fears and anxiety, along with the unknown of raising a daughter (it really feels like being a first-time parent all over again), I am ecstatic to meet our little girl. I am excited to hold her, to smell her, to let her share her innocence with me, with her Dad, and her brothers. I am excited to let her feel she is loved, and to feel her love as well. So many good things in store as she grows up with her brothers. What a blessing she is to us. C is very excited to meet her. He gives my belly kisses and hugs more than five times a day, and whispers, "I love you baby sister!" Lately he's been pretending that she answers him with, "I love you too!" J is now slightly aware he's about to have a baby sister, but still kind of oblivious to it. I'm surely gonna miss him a lot when she comes, the same way I missed C when he came. But I am ready and excited to welcome our daughter into this world.

Potty Training 2.0

We spent the last 4 days potty training J. And for the past 4 days, I've been beyond stressed and emotional about it all. I had this battle in my head to give up and try again later,  or to keep going because it will "click" sooner or later. Giving up is never my thing when it comes to parenting. And for this one I didn't want to giving up because I had this faith on J that he can do this.

I did pray for help when I was at my lowest of emotions one night. I asked to help me know what to do or how to do it among many other things. It may sound cheesy to some to pray for help with potty training. But most parents will understand that they can't always do everything on their own, especially something like a rite of passage as potty training. Most of the time in our daily lives of raising children, we need that Divine help. I also learned growing up and still hear it until now that there is no such thing as asking for a little help from our Heavenly Father. Remember when I wrote about my driver's license test? Yeah, I still stand firm in my belief that whatever we ask of Him and we do our part, if it is for our own good we will get it.

Well, what I've been getting was to try again later because J is just not ready. But it was confusing me with not wanting to give up. Today I was so stressed about it that it made me cry a lot. Maybe it had something to do with my pregnancy hormones as well, hehe! So I posted about my potty training stress in our private facebook group (moms) made by my friend, and they all said what I've been thinking about. To try again later. So for now, J is back on pull-ups because I'm still looking for his diapers at the moment, haha!.

J has certainly taught me a lot of things. For one is patience. LONG patience. LOVING patience. More kindness. More love. More understanding. More humility. We teach them that things don't always go their way. Well it goes the same way for us, too. He taught me that this weekend.

.

So now I will tuck away his three sticker-filled potty charts and write in my journal what this experience has taught me. It's only been four days but I learned so many things from it. I am so glad J was born to us. He fills our lives with more "color" and more variety and more fun.. and silliness. I will always be forever grateful for the things they teach me each day. Parenthood is tough but it really is so worth it.

New Stage of Stay-at-home Mommyhood

My mundane life bubble was popped in the 3rd of September when C started going to preschool. I am slowly getting my footing back again, and have constantly caught up with my journal. Not more than a week delayed (right now I am 3 days behind, haha!). I guess it's about time for another blog post.

See, I can't sleep right now that's why I'm here. I've been so accustomed to having my super handsome husband with me that when he's away for business trips, I find it hard to fall asleep.

Anyway, as of late my husband and I entered a new stage of parenthood. A new stage for me as a stay-home mom. I will not say "full-time" mom from now on, because every parent is a "full-time" parent, working or not. Our new stage is having a preschooler.

Sure, we did Joy School last year but it didn't feel like we had a kid in school because I took turns with the other moms teaching the children. This year, though, is school in a home-based preschool roughly about 9 miles away (10-min drive) from our home. The ratio is 4 children to 1 teacher. There's only one teacher, Miss S. (For my kid's and his classmate's protection, I will not mention the name of the school here).

Years ago, we decided not to send our kids to school until they turn 6 y.o. The decision was based on the book Jesse read about boys and school/academic stuff or something like that. I'm gonna have to ask him the title when he gets back.

Last year we signed up for Joy School because the moms went to the same Church with us, and C knew their children too. So basically it was all about him gaining more friends because in all honesty he didn't have much before he went to Joy School. For me it was more like a play date with learning.

C loves learning and meeting new people. We enrolled him to preschool for those same reasons, just supporting what he likes. And he is loving it. I didn't cry the first day of class because I knew he was going to have fun and I like it when he's happy and having fun with other people.

First day of Preschool.

Sometimes I still can't believe that we are now on that stage where we have a kid in school. That it has indeed started. It made me feel a lot more like a parent, especially when I started buying his school supplies. Or whenever he insists on trying to do things by himself. My baby, my sweet baby, is indeed growing up and there's nothing I can do to freeze time. All I can do is seize the moment and live in the now, encourage them and support them, do things with them, and be thankful for every moment I get to spend with them. Seeing them happy makes me happy. I am grateful that Heavenly Father allowed me this opportunity to raise His beloved children with my husband. I am filled with so much joy along with some stress here and there (haha!) on a daily basis & I will never trade it for anything. We love them, I love my family, and I love being a mother.

 

The Terrible Two's the Second Time Around

J is closing in at turning two years old. But that doesn't mean that he hasn't thrown a tantrum before. In fact, he has. A lot. On a daily basis. Every half an hour. Most of the time he looked too cute we couldn't help our giggles, which was probably DEFINITELY a wrong move. Of course the little guy started to think that it was funny.

And so he kept doing them. We've ignored the tantrums for the most part. "WAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!! BLIBLUBLAHBLAH!!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!" He'd keep going to no avail. (Yes, we left him doing that for 2 hours straight. Of course, not!)

But today was a different day. Although we've only recently started putting him on time-outs [other moms, insert book reference here about the proper age for time-outs], today was one of those days that we had to stand strong to it. It was hard for me to watch it, but he threw a lot of fits today more than usual. My spouse and I were on the same page that it was time to really really REALLY (yes? YES!) implement it.

And time-outs he got.

And in comes the ear-piercing shrieks! Boy was he mad! Someone get me a pair of noise-cancelling headphones! AAAH!!!!

He threw total outrageous fits each time, and screamed his heart out. And then he banged on the door the moment his Dad closed it. (Okay maybe next time we shouldn't close the door). And although this is our second time going through this process, it felt all too foreign and unfamiliar to me all over again. I don't remember at all how C did with time-outs. Did he bang on the door? Not sure. Did he cry his heart out? Oh, well, almost like someone stole his candy. But J - poor kid sounded so sad. I tried my best not to approach him until the 1 1/2 mins. was up. Or even after if it was my Better Half who put them on the time-out. I ALWAYS let their Dad talk to them and soothe them if he's the one who put them on a time-out to avoid making him look like the bad guy.

Aaaanyway... I am looking for something else to AID us in our way of discipling our children. And despite my very sleepy state and my half-way open (or half-way closed?) eyes, I remembered one easy peasy DIY help. Have you seen this on Pinterest?

Time-out Jar
Photo Credit: Hillary
(Click on image to visit the tutorial on how to make this jar)

I have never tried this before. Have you? The idea is the kid (who is on time out) shakes this jar and watches the glitter settle down. It seems it has this magical powers to make the kid calm down as the glitters settle down on the jar. Like some kind of voodoo. Ha!

I feel like I need to get one of my mason jars (okay, maybe three - one more for me and another for Daddy) and find a tiny bucket of glitter from the dollar store NOW. I think I've just found our (me and the little kiddies) craftsie daisie activity next week. (Did I just sound like we do crafts every week?... In my dreams and goals that just seem to never happen, we do). I just hope they won't end up acting like they were hypnotized or something. I wonder if C will pick blue food coloring?

What are your tried and tested tricks to do time-outs? And no, you don't have to be the Supernanny to have had the best disciplining method to your kids, right? Right! Here's to hoping for a more disciplined future generation with time-out jars as our shield!

When a Song Used to Make Me Cry

It's been 17 months today since I gave birth to our second son. 15 months since the last time I was really depressed (them baby blues). I was depressed way until the first four months, but the first two months were the worst ones. You know, when you've just given birth, you just feel ugly and dirty and not human - more like a zombie cow. I didn't like to look at myself in the mirror. I was losing some hair, my hair was always tangled and sticking out everywhere, I had big circles underneath my eyes, and I just looked plain tired.

Each nursing session was a love-hate feeling for me. I loved it because I was cuddling with my boy at the same time. I hated it because it was just too long (yes, I gave him both sides all the time) for the other toddler who was waiting for us to get done. I always listened to Boyce Avenue on every nursing session just to have something to watch. And what do you know, this song always got me crying (I always blamed the hormones):

I always soaked in all the words, imagining my husband saying them to me even though I felt ugly about myself. And even just the imagination of being appreciated (thanks to this song) made me cry! Hahaha! Looking back now, I think I was too cheesy back then. My husband did tell me all those times that I still looked pretty. Most of the time I felt like he was lying, but I did appreciate his appreciation of me.

Last Year: A Birth Story

OUR DUE DATE

I went to the salon to get a haircut. I had long hair and I wanted it gone. The lady at the salon was surprised at my response to her question, "when are you due?" I said I was due to give birth that day.

That night, I felt some mild contractions but didn't think too much about it. I went to bed at 10:00 pm to make sure I could get some sleep (one I didn't get with our first child because I went in labor right after I folded our clothes at 10:00 pm). 

THE BIG DAY

At around 2:00am, I was awoken to painful cramps on my belly. I still thought it was false labor so I stuck it out. With our first, I had some spotting at home, and my water bag broke at about 6 cm. dilation (we were already at the hospital and was preparing to get an epidural). So I was waiting for one of those two things with our second baby. I didn't time it anymore because I could tell it was consistent and the pain was increasing.

I decided to take a shower with hopes that it will alleviate the pain a little bit. It was 3:00 am. Everybody was still sleeping (our son, my sister, and YES my husband who was even snoring in bed). I was trying to deal with the pain as quietly as I could because I didn't want to wake up our little guy. The shower definitely helped. 

At 4:00 am, I decided it's time to disturb my husband. I tried to lie down to get some sleep. It was really painful but I haven't had any spotting yet so I thought I was probably just at 3 or 4 cm. I was groaning silently here and there and that woke my husband up. I told him, "yeah I'm definitely in labor." I asked him to blow up our big bouncy ball. Poor guy was still so sleepy when he was pumping some air into that ball. I tried to use it but to no comfort at all. So I just did what I've been doing all along without the ball. I told my husband the contractions were definitely more frequent and more painful with only a few seconds of interval in between. The funny thing was, he asked me to tell him when to take a shower before we go to the hospital. I was in labor (yeah, great excuse, right?) and I thought, "Oh yeah he'll take a shower right when I want to go" so I snapped and told him, "take it now!" It was funny - just like the movies!

At around 4:30 am, I called the hospital and the nurse told me to wait it out.

"Go take a shower."

"I already did that."

"Have you had any spotting yet?"

"No, but I'm telling you it's really painful and more frequent."

"Well, just wait it out, see if it still goes or not."

Sad, huh! She wouldn't listen to me! So I waited (painfully) 'til 6:00 am, dealing with the pain as quietly as I could (yeah, I was groaning with my face down flat on our mattress). 

At 6:10 am, I told Jesse we have to go. It was really painful but I could still bear it but I wanted to be around some people who knew what to do just in case I was ready to deliver. The hospital was just 15-20 mins. away but it felt like forever. The passenger seat was one of the most uncomfortable place any woman in labor could ever be in. 

We parked quite close to the entrance of the building but it seemed like it took us forever to get there (I had really painful contractions every 10 seconds or so - or at least that's how it felt like because I've only made 5 or 10 steps and another contraction was there). There wasn't anybody at the reception area so we used the phone (there was a note saying to call them) and an Indian nurse came out. She was so calm and taking things VERY SLOWLY! She didn't even put me in a wheelchair! I walked the whole way to the delivery room - I felt like I couldn't walk anymore. As soon as we entered the room, I told her I want an epidural (very wrong decision!).

I changed my clothes and she was still taking things slowly. It was around 6:40 am. She measured me and you can tell in her voice that she freaked out a bit when she said, "Oh! You're 8 1/2 cm. dilated!" Both my husband and I were like, "what?!?" Haha! I asked her if it was too late for the epidural (that's what I thought) and she said she'll see what the anesthesiologist will say because he's on his way. But he didn't say anything. By the time he arrived, I was probably more than 8 1/2 cm. I seriously think he just wanted to get paid. One of the things I hated while waiting for him was signing some paperwork in-between and during my contractions. I mean, come on! WOMAN IN LABOR HERE! And the nurse who answered my call earlier was there and introduced herself to me, "I was the one who answered your call." I thought to my head, "Oh yeah! Well so much for not believing I am in labor, huh!"

After 5 painful tries, the anesthesiologist finally got the epidural in (the first 3 were "wrong" pokes and the 4th one was right but the catheter broke so he had to remove it and do it again). It was literally painful!!! I seriously thought it was more painful than my contractions. I was crying without any sound, just tears flowing endlessly down my face. I know he could've done better. The anesthesiologist who gave it to me with our first baby did it only in one strike, and I wasn't even as steady as I was with our second baby. When I was getting an epidural with our first baby, the nurse didn't even help me sit still (that's when my water bag broke). But with our second child, our Indian nurse helped me stay still (and I was) and that guy had to poke me 5 times!!! The only thing I hate about epidurals is that it hurts my back so bad after a few hours of delivering the baby (and goes on for weeks) and it makes my labor a lot slower.

At 9:30am, they broke my water bag with hopes to speed things up. It's one of the things I hated. What's the rush? I wasn't in any risky situation, he wasn't tangled, blah blah blah. The baby will come when he wants. No need to break my bag. But I didn't say anything.

We thought we were going to have a different ob/gyn for my delivery because my ob/gyn was going to go camping with her husband and his family that day for a week. At 9:45am, she popped through the door. We were glad to have OUR ob/gyn there. At 10:00 am, I started pushing. I was so numb (more numb than I was with our first) that I couldn't feel where to push. With our first, I at least felt where it's supposed to be. It took me 30 mins. to push J out (10 mins. with our first). I'm glad she tried everything to avoid giving me an episiotomy. 

At 10:30 am, our 8 lbs. 6 oz. and 20 inches baby joined our little family with a big cry.

HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY LITTLE FELLA! It's been a fun journey with you in our family. 

Happyness and Joy

Yes, I am alive!!! That was a loooong break for me, wasn't it? Anyway...

I love being a mom as much as I love being a wife to my very handsome accountant. Being a mother (or, rather, a parent) is very tiring and challenging. But the hard part of being a parent is often times (if not always) overcome by happYness and joy.

Our children are still young and so innocent. I love the ages they are in right now. C likes to ask questions now, "Mommy, what you doing?" He also likes to correct us if we wrongfully described something ("No, that's not a truck, it's a dump truck!") He still likes to help out, bully his little brother every now and then, and what have you for a toddler. He still loves to cuddle with us on our bed when he wakes up in the morning. He understands a little bit of Tagalog now. Yay!!!

J is growing up so fast. He just turned 9 months old. Where did the time go? He likes to laugh out loud especially during his baths. He takes baths together with his "kuya" (older brother). He loves to crawl around and pull himself up to a stand. He'll cruise around our couch back and forth, and sometimes he'll try his limit and let go for a second (then lands on his butt on the floor). He loves to eat. He eats anything! Which we love, by the way (C is still a picky eater). He likes to say "mama" now and any other vowel-consonant sounds he could come up with, especially when he's really focused on a toy he's playing with.

I love being a wife to my man and being a mother to these two boys, especially on days when I could see and hear this:

Your Body Is Not Ruined

I am slowly getting my footing back on track again. C's been doing a great job not having any accidents throughout the day. Since yesterday, there have only been 2 #1 accidents and he hasn't peed on his bed. He always got up before he did "the job." So yes, I am proud of him. I hope it stays this way. I don't mind having to carry him on the toilet as long as he knows he needs to let us know when he needs to go.

Anyway, I was browsing Pinterest one day and I saw this quote from somebody's board:

"Your body is not ruined, you're a *%&@!# tiger who earned her stripes!"

Wow! That made me smile! Although I've already accepted a mother's body and figure (muffin tops, flabby belly, stretch marks...), sometimes I still wished that I could still fit into those pants and dress I used to wear when my husband and I were just dating. But reading that quote (whoever you are, thanks!) made me happy.

Another interesting read my visiting teacher posted on her Facebook wall today was this: Mommy Myths: Here's the Real Story. I like the whole article especially when she wrote:

Myth:  I will have a tight tummy just like I did before I had children.  No muffin top for me!

Truth:  Unless you have a very unique set of awesome genes or you are a celebrity with unlimited access to plastic surgeons you better get comfortable with Mr. Muffin Top because he isn’t going anywhere.  Saggy deflated balloon skin is also a friend that is here to stay.

I am thankful that I have 10 fingers and 10 toes, two eyes and ears, a mouth, a nose, hands, feet, legs, etc. I am thankful that my body - though it is no longer as "perfect" (in Hollywood's definition) as it used to be - it is complete, and that I could use it to fulfill my responsibilities as a wife, a mother, a daughter, a friend.  

Big "This Too Shall Pass" Moments {Potty Training}

I can't imagine how many times I've said that to myself my whole life - well, not really my whole life. It was ever since I left home and my family behind to go to school to a foreign country. The first big "this too shall pass" moment I had were each birthdays and Christmas every year for 7 years (and counting) that I was away from home. I had to tell myself that "this too shall pass" whenever I was homesick and wanted to be with my family. Of course, being homesick (especially during Christmas time) never gets old. But I could at least handle it fairly well and better now than I did before.

The second "this too shall pass" moment was the first several months of C's life. I've said "this too shall pass" so many times with regards to sleepless nights the first two months, painful nursing the first 6 weeks, and inconvenient breastfeeding the whole 15 months. When J was born, I had those exact same baby blue feelings I did with C (although nursing was easier with J) and had that 4-word phrase in my head every single minute of every single day. Because I know it's true - it shall pass. It was just temporary and I must stay positive no matter how exhausting it was.

The third is... potty training. Okay so this blog post is really just about whining with a tiny twist of trying to be positive. So last weekend, I faced the one thing I didn't want to face in my life (besides the first month of a newborn babe), and that is potty training. I miss my husband right now. I think my decision to start it on a weekend (instead of a weekday) was right because my husband was a BIG BIG BIG HELP to me. He was really good at staying positive and he keeps encouraging C no matter how many accidents we've had in the first morning alone.

Click image to see reviews from Amazon.com

I will spare you the details of his potty training, but C made a huge improvement on the first 6 hours of his first day of potty training. It's not really hard to train him. But I guess my "this too shall pass" moment is how hard it is right now because he can't get on the toilet on his own. And the many accidents (which I already expected) and constant washing of his sheets. And the fact that I have to keep an eye on him constantly while taking care of J. C's stupid toilet seat slides around and the pee guard is no use. We didn't know it was the worst consumer rated toilet seat until we checked it online (Amazon) on the first night of potty training C. I've thought many times to get him a potty seat where he can go on his own without our help because I know he will. He tries with his toilet seat but it's just hard for him to get on it, so I guess that's why he's not motivated enough to go by himself although he knows that that's what he needs to do. But then again, I thought it would be so much easier for all of us in the long run if he gets used to using the toilet right away and not have to transition him from a potty to a toilet.

Another thought I had was to slap some pull-ups on him during nap times and bedtimes. But again, I THINK (I am no expert, obviously, because this is my first time) it would only delay getting him fully potty trained. So for now I am sticking to our method and will just keep telling myself, "this too shall pass" even though I haven't had any good sleep since we started training him (J decided to wake up at 5 am since yesterday morning, especially if he rolled over). If only I had enough sleep, it would make the world so much better!

I know there are a lot harder challenges out there where this phrase, "this too shall pass" is more applicable. I admit, potty training him could be worse. But for right now, this is MY "this too shall pass" moment because I'm just a whiny person. One thing I would change in the future is to potty train J first before deciding to have another baby.

Sorry this post doesn't have a single picture in it, besides potty seat he has. I have a couple of photos in my camera but I'm just too lazy to upload it. Besides, C's right next to me watching his playlist in Youtube while I'm writing this so we can run to the toilet anytime he needs to go.

Overwhelming...

I have been pretty overwhelmed lately... just a little bit. As a stay-home mom, I feel like most of the pressure is on me to do these things because I'm the one who's constantly with our boys. Well, the things that overwhelms me lately are the thoughts of potty training, raising bilingual children, and starting our second child with solid foods.

I've put it off for a long time now but it's time to potty train our son. He's been a really good kid and was really easy to take care of ever since he was born but, of course, I haven't seen everything yet. Who knows how we will both handle potty training? But it has to be done... {sigh}. Just another sign that he's growing up and I can't stop it.

Second on the list is raising bilingual children. I did a pretty good job starting our first son with my language (Tagalog) when he was a baby. But ever since we left his birth place (and our friends who spoke my language), English automatically came out of my mouth whenever I talked to him. It was just weird for me to speak to him in Tagalog in a non-Tagalog speaking country.

But this year, I am trying really really HARD to talk to our sons in my language. My husband speaks it, too, but he thinks it's better if I am the MAIN one who speaks it to them because he's not sure if he was doing it good enough. Well.. I'm telling you, he's really good! No kidding! You can't tell that it's an American who's speaking Tagalog if you listen to him with your eyes closed. Seriously. (Don't blush, beb). I started this year good enough with regards to this bilingual thing. But at the beginning of each new day, English comes out of my mouth automatically. Then I revert back and forth to both languages the whole day (each time I spoke English automatically, I always continue to speak in Tagalog). It's frustrating because our first son only understands English (and I bet some Tagalog), and he's trying really hard to understand me when I speak to him in Tagalog. There are days that he's just not into it and he'll 'command' me to stop my Tagalog by being stern with his, "NO!" Well, at least I got to teach him to count 1 to 3 in Tagalog (he knows how to count 'til 20 in English). I just have to keep reminding myself to make it as fun as I can.

Another thing that's frustrating about that is that if I want to talk to him during potty training, I have to speak in English to take a little pressure off of both of us during the whole process. But I have to speak Tagalog exclusively to him if he were to learn the language (it's easiest to learn a new language when they're still young). Aah! What to do.

Grabbed from Google images

Third, starting solid foods. I don't mind it, really. I'm actually excited. Our second son is turning five months this month and it was about this age when we started his "kuya" (older brother) with rice cereal. The only thing that gets me overwhelmed thinking about it is the timing. Potty training a toddler while introducing solid foods to an infant requires lots and lots and LOTS of patience. I don't know how much I have in my patience bank.

Oh well... time to stock up on pair of hand gloves, disinfecting wipes/spray, and some big boy underwear!

Note to Self - It Is What God Gave You Time For

There are so many things I want to do but I 'chose' not to because I have other priorities - our kids. But there are days that I sometimes wish I could just disappear and do everything I want (my hobbies mostly). Of course, I am thankful for our sons but I guess I can say it's also just human for me to sometimes wish that I can spend a lot of time for myself - to read books, to scrapbook, to go to places (w/o kids in tow), etc. 

Tonight my husband read something to us (yes, including our two sons) as we all just "hung-out" in our bedroom - actually ON our queen size memory foam bed. It was a talk given by Elder Neil L. Andersen on last month's General Conference. There was one paragraph that really hit home to me. He said:

Many voices in the world today marginalize the importance of having children or suggest delaying or limiting children in a family. My daughters recently referred me to a blog written by a Christian mother [not of our faith] with five children. She commented: "[Growing] up in this culture, it is very hard to get a biblical perspective on motherhood. ... Children rank way below college. Below world travel for sure. Below the ability to go out at night at your leisure. Below honing your body at the gym. Below any job you may have or hope to get." She then adds: "Motherhood is not a hobby, it is a calling. You do not collect children because you find them cuter than stamps. It is not something to do if you can squeeze time in. It is what God gave you time for."

Well, that being said, I felt guilty right away and thankful (for that message) at the same time. She (whoever she is) is right: motherhood is a calling. Never mind my hobby to make greeting cards or read books.  My calling is with my family. We (my husband and I) are raising God's children and He entrusted us to meet their needs physically, emotionally, and spiritually (with His help). It is indeed a divine calling. My family is what God gave me time for. I have to remember that.

Side note: I love stamps but children are definitely CUTER than stamps. Hehe!

Lullabies

What it was SOMETIMES like whenever I tried to put J down for a nap:

Me: "Hmmm..hmm..hmmm..." (humming to Rock-a-bye Baby while rocking the baby)
J: (looks puzzled, then...) "Waaaa!!!"

Me: (change of song - Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star) "Mm mm.. Mm mm.. Mmm mmm mmm.."

J: (even louder) "WAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!"

Me: (Brahm's lullaby) "Mmm mm mmm... Mmm mmm mmm.."

J: (shrieks) "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

C (jumping in the background): "Mommy listen to me!"

Me: "All right, J." (I let him go and let the computer sing the songs for him)

J: (nods off to lalala land in a few minutes)

I'm glad those days are over. NO, I don't hum lullabies to him anymore. He always gets mad at me whenever I tried. My husband thinks it's funny. I get the point - I can't sing. Ha! Oh poor mommy! Hahaha!!! Well, at least I had my chance when C was the baby - he loved it. I still want our old Mac back, though, so I can upload some photos. By the way, it was a great night last night. Our 2 1/2 months old slept from 9pm-6:30am. WOOHOOO!!!!

Note to Self - Babies Don't Keep

I loved the lesson given by our Relief Society President at our Relief Society class last Sunday. It was very timely for me. In summary, we were reminded that our children are what's important, not our things that we have or that we need to get done. Sometimes I tend to worry so much about keeping our house clean and organized. She shared a poem to one of the sisters and I asked our RS President to email it to me too... as a note to myself...

Cooking and cleaning can wait 'till tomorrow,
For babies grow up,
We've learned to our sorrow.
So quiet down cobwebs,
Dust go to sleep,
I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep.







Here's the whole poem (not sure if it's the original) from my searches on the Web:

Song for a Fifth Child
by Ruth Hulburt Hamilton

Mother, oh Mother, come shake out your cloth
Empty the dustpan, poison the moth
Hang out the washing and butter the bread,
Sew on a button and make up a bed.
Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She's up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.

Oh, I've grown shiftless as Little Boy Blue
(Lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo)
Dishes are waiting and bills are past due,
(pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo)
The shopping's not done and there's nothing for stew
And out in the yard there's a hullabaloo
But I'm playing Kanga and this is my Roo.
Look! Aren't her eyes the most wonderful hue?
(Lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo)

The cleaning and scrubbing will wait till tomorrow
For children grow up, as I've learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down cobwebs. Dust go to sleep.
I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep.

Pacifier or Thumb?

J is slowly figuring out how to put his fist in his mouth - the left one in particular. He tries to put it in his mouth with each bath and each diaper change, and sometimes when he's just "chilling" in his swing. He'll even try to extend his thumb - but he's always unsuccessful... for now.

When I first saw C do it two years ago, I thought it was cute. I also liked how we were all able to sleep through the night. J still wakes up once or twice each night even though by this time C could sleep through the night because he'd already found his thumb. But, like I said, J is slowly figuring out how to suck his thumb. In the past few weeks, it sounded like a good idea - to let him suck his thumb. Then maybe we could get some good sleep at night. But it wasn't until today, while I was browsing through the Web for photos to use in this post, that I am convinced not to let him. For one, I don't want him to have oral problems that could also affect his speech. C's teeth right now are slowly becoming the "thumb sucker's teeth," kind of like this one:

grabbed from Google images

I found this picture from Google owned by a mom blogger like me. This was her daughter's teeth before she got her braces. Her daughter was an avid thumb sucker.

Anyway, C is slowly having the same problem (we haven't taken him to the dentist ever). I don't want him to wear braces (though he might have to seeing that his teeth are slowly growing inwards and not straight up, I don't know). This is just my opinion, but I am still somehow convinced that for some instances where a kid needs braces, it is related to his habit of sucking his thumb. So, right now for me thumb sucking for J is thrown out of the window. But how can we get a good night's sleep? Option no. 2: THE PACIFIER!

grabbed from IMDb

NO! Not that pacifier! This pacifier...

grabbed from Google images

This is a good option. For one, it's easier (I think, not sure) to wean a baby/toddler off of their binkies than their thumbs because you can take it away. With a thumb, you have to come up with something more clever than a "binky fairy." The only thing I don't like about it is, first, that it'll keep getting lost (unless you have a strap) and you'll always have to "upgrade" to a bigger size. Second, at J's stage right now, we have to keep putting it back in his mouth whenever he's looking for it. Third, we can't forget to bring it along whenever we're out and about or else it's going to be the end of the world (maybe). 

It makes me think, "is it really that necessary?" My siblings and I (all seven of us) were raised without the use of a pacifier or letting us suck or thumbs. Most babies and toddlers back in my home country don't use pacifiers and most don't suck their thumbs. There are also some children here in the U.S. who got by without sucking their thumbs or using a pacifier. So IT IS POSSIBLE for a baby or a toddler not to use a pacifier or suck a thumb.

I think it's not just the child who gets attached to their pacifier/thumb but also their parent(s), based from my own experience as a parent. I've also read some on random blogs of parents a long time ago (when C was a baby) who admitted that they were also attached to their child's pacifier use/thumb sucking and it was just as hard for them to wean their baby off the pacifier/thumb as it was for their baby who was getting weaned. This attachment definitely started from something - from letting the kids use it in the first place. Now that we have a thumb sucker, and one who is learning how to thumb suck and is in-between pacifier use and thumb sucking, I think that in order to avoid the "attachment," I should just not start it in the first place. But how?

Do you have a proven, working method (or books) to avoid pacifier use or thumb sucking (and how to stop thumb sucking)? Please share it. I really really want to know. I am not against the use of pacifiers or thumb sucking nor am I attacking any parent who are using/have used these to their child(ren). We've all been there. We all know, when baby's happy, everybody's happy! But, as for myself, I am honestly slowly becoming reluctant to using any of these forms to soothe my child. It's just me. I keep wondering if my siblings and I, and most babies and toddlers I've seen back home (and some here in the U.S.) could get by without a pacifier or a thumb, why can't my children? I really don't want J to grow up with a pacifier or a thumb plugged in his mouth. But in all honesty, I am still not sure if I can do this because I don't know how but I'd like to try. Then again, maybe someday you'll see me and say, "Hey! J is sucking his thumb/pacifier!" because I might put his pacifier in his mouth sometime today ... haha! I am still torn between thumb sucking and pacifiers, but I really think I'd rather have him in a pacifier than his thumb if I can't do it without any of these two. IF I do stick with the pacifier, though, let's hope I can wean him off before he turns 1. Well, it'll be the same hope (weaning before 1 y.o.) if he turns out to be a thumb sucker.

What I Can Change

I am telling you right now, this is probably the most honest, true-to-my-own-life post I've ever written. [Deep sigh] here goes...

Life as a stay-home mom with a toddler and a newborn and with only one car is like a love/hate relationship to me. Love because I love being a mother and I love our boys so much! Hate because I just barely had the freedom to drive around and get out, and now I find myself stuck at home again. Sure I can walk around the block with our kids, but I think I'd rather take them to the park where I can just hold our newborn and let my toddler run and play around the slides as freely as he wants to than to walk around the block and keep telling him to "watch out! there's a car!" while pushing his little brother in the stroller.

Each morning/dawn, it feels like I don't want to get up and start the day. It feels like I want this:

... if only it was possible. Okay, buckle up for the complaints...

(1) Sometimes I just want a huge break from everything. But seeing that I'm the only one here with no family or close friends nearby (except for the Brenemans), it's hard to find that break. It's a good thing that right now I got that break (thus, this blog) but most of the time it's hard to get that break. Sometimes being home alone with the kids makes me feel lonely.

(2) I find myself wishing most of the time that our newborn is crawling now and sitting up. It's like I can't wait for him to grow up so our toddler can play with him and we can go out more. I think one major thing that makes me feel that way is because

(3) I want to get done with breastfeeding. I nursed our first son until he was 15 months old and it was only after then that I had real fun going out because he wasn't depending on my physical body anymore for his milk. Seriously, travelling while your kid is breastfeeding is not as convenient to some mothers like me as it is to others (even though some may argue otherwise). When we had our first son, I hated looking for a bathroom to nurse when we ate out for dinner, or when I nursed in our car multiple times while sweating all over my body because our first son DID NOT want to breastfeed with a nursing cover on and he wasn't taking a bottle (even with my expressed milk). It was really inconvenient whenever we traveled. I want to be done with breastfeeding because then I won't have to do those things anymore when we're out and about, I will be able to sleep better and actually sleep on my side, and I can get rid of these annoying breast pads. That thinking is very selfish of me, though. 

There are so many things I think about everyday that I wish I could do right now, like going back to reading books without being interrupted, or crafting, or cleaning the house/taking a shower/eating without needing to hurry up because the baby will be waking up soon. Sometimes thinking about these things make me sad and get depressed. But there is one thing that got stuck with me at church last Sunday when our Bishop's former first counselor gave his talk. He talked about his Facebook friend who posted (I'm paraphrasing), "some people will never change" and then he replied, "that might be true but what we can change is how we perceive that person." I think I can put that philosophy in my own life right now... there are things I can't change - being stuck in the house, not being able to take a break most of the time, figuring out how to give equal attention to two kids simultaneously, our newborn being a newborn still, etc. But what I can change is how I react/face these things - being thankful that we have a house, being thankful that we have children who add joy to our lives (as well as tired bodies.. hehe), being thankful that our firstborn is understanding and loves his little brother and was never jealous, taking in every sweet smile and little chuckles that our baby makes because HE WILL grow up sooner than I thought, and just knowing that through breastfeeding I am giving our newborn the best food for him right now ... and many other positive things I can put in my mind. 

I know it will not be as easy as it sounds at some days. Of course, there will be bad days (like when I was really hungry but I was holding our crying newborn who just barely ate while watching our toddler have his lunch) as well as good days (such as today). But I can try to be more positive. I think it's my husband who told me this (who probably heard/read it somewhere), "Are you a cup half-full or half-empty?" Then I said I want to be the "half-full." He then replied, "I'm just grateful there's a cup."

Yes, I know someday it'll be better. I'll be having so much fun with my sons sooner than I thought, no matter where we are - indoors or out.

P.S. Before I started this blog (after my quick shower), our newborn was starting to wake up after only half an hour of taking a snooze. He is learning to put his thumb in his mouth and I guess that wakes him up. I was so tired so I prayed for a break... and our Father did give me a break long enough to finish this post. Our newborn fell asleep again on his own, and our toddler remained sleeping without a peep. He hears and He listens.

Life's Changes...

Several weeks ago, Parents.com asked their Facebook fans about the ways their lives changed when they had their baby. I've always meant to post a blog about it, too, even though I've answered their question as well but I never really had the time to do so. 

Today, they finally posted those responses on their website called, "Readers Reveal: Surprising Ways Life Changes When You Become a Parent." I would like to echo some of their responses here and my own insights:

* A New Respect for Mom - it is true. When I became a mother, I have always wondered about how my mother (and my mother-in-law) did certain things that I took for granted as a kid. For example, I am not a big fan of going out for long hours with a baby. I sometimes wondered how my parents took us out as a whole family (of 7 kids) on Saturdays? We didn't have our own car so that's even harder, I guess?

* You See the Big Picture - I am both living in the present and for the future. Everything that my husband and I do right now as a couple has always been for our family both in the present time and in the future but it was magnified when we both became parents. The things that we do are for our small family no matter what those are - the things we teach them, the money we save for them, the relationship we build with them, and many more - they are all for the present time and also for the future.

* Baby Makes Your Day - I am a stay-home mom and even though I always see our son, it still ALWAYS makes my day whenever I see him laugh, smile, play, be silly, etc. I know it makes his dad's day even much better whenever he comes home from work. Sometimes I am having a tough time, and our son's little touch on my face with his round eyes right in front of mine (especially whenever he smiles his big smile) were enough to cheer me up.

* A New Timeline - this one I am not a big fan of. To be honest, this is one of the things I am not looking forward to when we have baby #2. I just don't like going out with a baby, or preparing to go somewhere and worrying about how I still have to do this or that before you can head out the door. With our first son, I didn't like how I was always worried that he would "starve to death" whenever we were out and about because he would NEVER take a bottle from me (or his daddy) and he wouldn't nurse with a nursing cover either unless we are hiding inside the car, the public restroom, or our bedroom. I always had to estimate what time we had to be out of the door and the time we have to get back before the world (at least my world) will come to an end. But you gotta do what you gotta do most of the time. I'm sure I will have another "timeline" once our baby is born.

* Personal Time - this entry from the website made me laugh. Anyway, it is true though. For the longest time, I couldn't go to the bathroom on my own without our little one following me around. It's gotten better now, though. Also, yes, I missed a lot of showers. I never thought that it's true - SHOWER is not a luxury mothers can have. If they ever have the time to shower, it needs to be really fast (unless they have somebody else watching their kiddos for them). I even stopped reading books for myself now, and was switched to reading Dr. Seuss or Thomas the Tank Engine.

* A New Perspective - one of my favorites. As an adult, there are many things I take for granted in life. Our little buddy is a good "reminder" for me to appreciate the simple things in life that I mostly take for granted. There was one afternoon when C saw a colony of ants "walking" on our wall. They were really tiny. Yet he saw them and was in ultimate AWE of them. He spent more than half an hour just watching them crawl and trying to get them to crawl on his arms (which he ended up smashing by accident). It was the cutest thing.

* Healthier Diet - yes, from the day we found out that I'm pregnant with our first, we became more conscious about what we eat. Sometimes I would sneak some ice cream here and there but most of the time, I obey my husband's "eat whole wheat bread instead of white" mindset. Now that our little one is a toddler, we still try to give him healthy meals and snacks. When I was single, I ate whatever I wanted to eat. Hahaha!

* Your Spouse is More Important - life changes when you have a baby, even your marriage. Whether it turns towards the bad side or the good side, it's up to the couple. My husband has always been more important to me even before we had our children. I always rely on him, as well. I love seeing him develop both as a husband first and then a father everyday.

* No Sleep, No Problem - I was really amazed how possible it can really be. For the first 2 months when our first child was born (I know I'm lucky), I was the one with the most "awake" hours than anybody else in our little family. But I was amazed how I could still go through the day no matter how much lack of sleep I had.

* Movie Makeover - besides what they said on the website that you watch the same movie "50 times a day," I would add that our Netflix queue (or whatever movie we watch) is filled up with animated cartoons. If we weren't watching anything from Netflix (say going out to the theaters), we always picked the one that was "child appropriate" even though we wanted to watch something else.

* Who's Looking After Mom - one of my least favorite is getting sick and there's nobody to take care of me but I still have to take care of our son, do chores, etc. I still had to get up no matter how badly I wanted to stay in bed.

* All About Baby - it sums it all. It's not just about me anymore. I don't care about myself anymore. Of course, my husband still comes first. But after him, it's all about our baby - our children. Everything I do everyday is for all of them... no matter how tired I was, or how bad my day is going. When I'm tired (especially now that I am 39 weeks pregnant), I push myself to keep moving, to try to keep playing and spending time with our little one, and preparing for our second baby. I watch everything I do and say, and at least try to do my best to be a good example to them (though I still have A LOT of room for improvement). It's amazing how much love parents can have for their children. I love them so much, it is overflowing inside me. It always makes me realize how wonderful it is to know that if I could love a child this much, our Heavenly Father loves us so much more - and it is such a good feeling to know that His love is more perfect than what I have.

Children are Expensive

One thing I noticed about becoming a parent is that there is a constant flow of "expenses" from the moment you get pregnant with the first baby (lab fees, co-pays). You and the people who loves you buy the stroller, the car seat, clothes, diapers, wipes, toiletries, baby formula (if you weren't nursing - thank goodness I did even just for 15 months), baby bottles, toys, swings, etc. And just when you thought you had "just enough," you realize you need to buy a new batch of diapers (or onesies or any other clothing item) one size bigger. Next thing you know, you're changing your baby bottles to a set of sippy cups. There really seems to be not enough for the little kiddo while he is "growing" because you keep changing things -- diaper sizes, clothes, car seats, etc. Okay, the bed too. But anyway, you get my point. Having kids is expensive (even though they really are priceless children of God).

(Photo grabbed from Google images)

But my term of "expensive" in this one is not the kind where you always have to buy brand new things. What I meant is that having children will affect your income in a way that it will be a constant disbursement of money from the household income - but it doesn't have to be the kind of expenses where it puts a big hole in your pocket(s).

Not to brag or anything, but what I've liked about our lifestyle (me and my husband's) is that even though we do want some new things every now and then (new computer, new phones, new tv, new etc...) we usually are content with used things or just what we have. Sure every once in a while we'll buy something new but we usually are fine with what we have. I can't believe that we have survived three years of our marriage without cable TV.

The same thing goes when it comes to our son. Lately I've only been shopping at a hand-me-down children's store and it ALWAYS make me happy that I got some new "used" clothes for my son that fit him (except for the last batch of 24 months size that I bought - I think they shrank even before they got to the store). I can almost always buy 5 pairs of clothes for under $20 bucks and they always look new - well at least I pick the ones that are still in great condition. He wouldn't care (at least while he's still not a teenager) if his newly bought clothes are hand-me-downs. As long as we could provide his basic needs for him, we're happy. It doesn't have to be brand new - or branded (though I love Carter's... hehe). Once in a blue moon we would go to Walmart and buy a pair of new clothing for under $10 bucks.

I think it is also important to know where you can save more money even though you have to buy some brand-new things (like diapers and diaper wipes). I love Amazon Prime. Not only do they always have a two-day FREE shipping, but we just love seeing the ratings first before we buy anything. That website is also what we use to buy our diapers and wipes. My accountant husband actually did the math first (per diaper and wipes) before deciding which brand is best to purchase. We also compare prices at different brick-and-mortar stores for the items that we need to buy new. Bottom line is, it pays at least a few more savings if we spend more time "researching" online where the best deals are.

Even though we try to live a simple life, there are some things that we do want to buy brand-new, like gifts for birthdays and Christmas. Sometimes it is for safety reasons. Like a car seat for one. There are just certain things in life that you can't risk buying used, you know.

I think it is a good training for us as a couple (and as individuals) to be satisfied with what we have and do our best (we still have a lot of room for improvement) to live within our means - especially knowing the fact that we are a one-income family. I think it (living within our means) is also a good training for our son and our future additional children in a way that they will know that they are not always entitled to have every nice things in the world... especially nowadays when most of us think and feel that we are entitled to have everything - and fast! I want my children to know for themselves that life can throw them simple things and everything is still all right.