38 Weeks

The crib is set up. The pack-n-play, too (because our room is small to put the crib in there, so her crib stayed in her room while her pack-n-play is going to be in our room while she's sleeping with us). I've taken the diaper box out (old diapers from J, they don't expire you know) and stored it in her room along with my personal nursing things. I've washed her "just enough" amount of clothes (we still need to get her some winter clothes, she only has mostly onesies and footed sleepers haha!), folded and tucked them neatly away.

My planner has been filled since last Sunday to the day before she's due to come - things I need to do/clean/prepare (freezer meals, anyone?) before the big day - if she does wait 'til that day. The hospital bag lay open on her crib, waiting to be filled with last items like toiletries or cellphone chargers. The rechargeable batteries have been collected and are now being charged for future repeated use (crib mobile, swing, vibrating chair, toys, etc).

I look at my planner and see that on a particular day, I have to clean this and that because it will probably be months before I get to do it again (*cough* the oven, for example, which was, and still is, really dirty when we moved in). "Ooh, maybe sterilize her bottles on this day so it's not so far away from her due date." Clean the bathrooms, clean the shower, clean the windows and glass doors (also dirty when we moved in, like it hasn't been cleaned for more than a year), clean the vents (also dirty when we moved in. They can actually catch on fire easily with the amount of dust stuck in them), clean the floors, etc. I am nesting, my heart and spirit are willing but my body isn't.

I am big. Well, at least my belly is big. I can't find a comfortable position anymore. Not sitting up, not lying down, and definitely not standing up. I can't count how many times I almost fell trying to go downstairs just because I can no longer see where I'm stepping at, and most of the time it's when I walked my son to school.

Yes, walk. I hate it now because it hurts me. Well at least I hate it FOR NOW while I'm in pain doing it, but I like the short moment it gives me each way to be with my boys and not anything else. Plus it's like a forced kind of exercise before I give birth, walking to and from school five days a week.

Sleeping is a pain. Literally. I've been having a lot of Braxton Hicks lately and aside from having to wake up every 30 minutes or so to go pee, sometimes the Braxton Hicks keep me up an hour or two a stretch on the nights that it visits me. I just look at it this way: I can go back to sleep right away. With a newborn, that's not the case. Especially if you're the one with the food supply. So for now I'll take the pains and discomfort and cherish how I actually have it easier right now.

It's kind of nerve-wracking thinking that next weekend is my last weekend with just our two boys and then our lives will change again. She'll join our small family and my routine will be thrown off. To be honest, I have mixed feelings at the moment. Knowing how I've been with my first two children, I am scared that I will be the same when she comes. You know, the baby blues. Emotional roller coaster, constant sickness (I think it was mastitis though I was never diagnosed because I never went to see a doctor each time I got sick), loneliness, fatigue, etc. The whole package.

And J. I wish I could spend more time alone with him now that his older brother is in school. I've enjoyed the short time (a month by the time I give birth) of alone time I've had with him - something we never really had since he was born. It made our bond stronger as a mother and son. I got to know him more. I wish I could do more for him - take him to places, run with him (I can't), play more "boyish" stuff with him, read comfortably with him, explore this new State we live in with him - now that we have the chance to be together, just me and him. But I can't. I am limited to my limited amount of daily strength that I need to share with all of my boys/man. At times I want this just-me-and-J-time to last longer - a couple of months more or so with me in full capacity to do a lot more than I can now with him - to make up for the three years that he hardly had any chance to spend one-on-one time with me. But that's not possible. How am I ever going to give him that alone-time attention again that he just barely got? I think in some ways I'm not ready to give it up just yet.

But despite all these fears and anxiety, along with the unknown of raising a daughter (it really feels like being a first-time parent all over again), I am ecstatic to meet our little girl. I am excited to hold her, to smell her, to let her share her innocence with me, with her Dad, and her brothers. I am excited to let her feel she is loved, and to feel her love as well. So many good things in store as she grows up with her brothers. What a blessing she is to us. C is very excited to meet her. He gives my belly kisses and hugs more than five times a day, and whispers, "I love you baby sister!" Lately he's been pretending that she answers him with, "I love you too!" J is now slightly aware he's about to have a baby sister, but still kind of oblivious to it. I'm surely gonna miss him a lot when she comes, the same way I missed C when he came. But I am ready and excited to welcome our daughter into this world.

Tres

Hi!

I turned three!

I had a simple birthday celebration with my family. My mom let me have some ice cream while my kuya was away with our Dad to his school orientation.

Then we had fun with the sprinklers in our backyard!

And then my mom made spaghetti - one of my favorites - for dinner. I devoured it, just like my kuya.

And then they sang the Happy Birthday song for me as my Dad brought out my cookies and cream pie.

And lastly, I opened my birthday gift from my Dad and Mom - a bubble-blowing lawn mower toy! (Fisher Price Bubble Mower) I love it so much! I'm glad mom got the right gift this time, haha!

I still love cuddling with my mom, especially in the mornings and while we watch some movies at home. I still like to destroy things and figure out why that happens - or how? I am interested in anything and everything that I don't have a particular favorite toy or thing to do. I like baths and showers and splashing in the water! And I looooooove FOOD! Recently I've taken an interest into singing all the time. Sometimes I even make up my own songs.

I like watching my kuya do his school things like reading his books, writing letters, numbers, and shapes. I'm excited for the day that I will be able to do it, too. I enjoy asking mom to draw me this or that (usually shapes). I still love climbing on things. I'm a happy little big boy!

Love,
J

Growing Pains

Well, it's been another while since my last update.

C has graduated from preschool. He loved preschool and he loved making friends there. He's turning five soon and I'm a little sad that we aren't throwing him a party with his friends and/or cousins over. It'll be just another simple birthday celebration. Heck I don't even know yet what to do for him on that day, but I'm sure we'll have fun.

J is still his silly, will-powered self. He's beginning to construct sentences better. It's cute and all, but it also kind of makes me sad that my baby is indeed growing up. He's getting better in using the toilet to do his business, even with going #2. Potty training him this time around had been so much easier for all of us than the first time we tried.

My husband applied for an assistant controller a few weeks back, got through the interviews (phone and in-person), and now we are looking at many weekends ahead full of traveling because he got the job. We'll be traveling for house hunting where we'll be moving, and traveling to see family and friends before we leave our close proximity to them. It's going to be a busy month and maybe even after we've settled down. More on this on a different post later.

And me, still growing. I'm 24 weeks pregnant as of today. My little princess is living up to her reputation as the princess of this household. She has been harder to carry than her two older brothers. I always find myself exhausted - a lot more exhausted than I was in my previous pregnancies - and in pain. Just pain everywhere. Sometimes it even hurts my everything when I walk, or when I roll over in bed. I don't know if that has something to do with placenta previa but most days I just want to lie down in bed and have a maid clean the house, or a babysitter to take care of our kids, or a chef to make us good food. I haven't been making dinner a lot because of it. I mean I've always been like that, but I'm worse now. Just glad that my husband understands and doesn't complain.

I'm a little upset that my doctor's appointment has been moved to 2 more weeks (that's 6 weeks since the last time I met her, 4 days before we leave Vegas) because she suddenly isn't available at the time they gave me and now they had to push me over to some random date to accommodate HER needs, not mine. So there's a possibility that I won't get that ultrasound before our move. We'd have to find a new doctor first which will probably take by August before I get another ultrasound. I really need that ultrasound. I just ... all I want to know is if everything's better and if so, then I can have some things, even just ONE thing, back to normal.

I think the reason why I'm in this blog post right now is not just to merely update it, but because my pathetic, insignificant disappointments are building up and I need to let some, if not all, of my steam out. So, thank you, for bearing with me. I appreciate it. :)

Potty Training 2.0

We spent the last 4 days potty training J. And for the past 4 days, I've been beyond stressed and emotional about it all. I had this battle in my head to give up and try again later,  or to keep going because it will "click" sooner or later. Giving up is never my thing when it comes to parenting. And for this one I didn't want to giving up because I had this faith on J that he can do this.

I did pray for help when I was at my lowest of emotions one night. I asked to help me know what to do or how to do it among many other things. It may sound cheesy to some to pray for help with potty training. But most parents will understand that they can't always do everything on their own, especially something like a rite of passage as potty training. Most of the time in our daily lives of raising children, we need that Divine help. I also learned growing up and still hear it until now that there is no such thing as asking for a little help from our Heavenly Father. Remember when I wrote about my driver's license test? Yeah, I still stand firm in my belief that whatever we ask of Him and we do our part, if it is for our own good we will get it.

Well, what I've been getting was to try again later because J is just not ready. But it was confusing me with not wanting to give up. Today I was so stressed about it that it made me cry a lot. Maybe it had something to do with my pregnancy hormones as well, hehe! So I posted about my potty training stress in our private facebook group (moms) made by my friend, and they all said what I've been thinking about. To try again later. So for now, J is back on pull-ups because I'm still looking for his diapers at the moment, haha!.

J has certainly taught me a lot of things. For one is patience. LONG patience. LOVING patience. More kindness. More love. More understanding. More humility. We teach them that things don't always go their way. Well it goes the same way for us, too. He taught me that this weekend.

.

So now I will tuck away his three sticker-filled potty charts and write in my journal what this experience has taught me. It's only been four days but I learned so many things from it. I am so glad J was born to us. He fills our lives with more "color" and more variety and more fun.. and silliness. I will always be forever grateful for the things they teach me each day. Parenthood is tough but it really is so worth it.

"Vectoooooor"

Monday night after dinner, my husband helped C read the scriptures he is going to share in Primary class this Sunday. Last time he was asked to give a short talk and he cried the whole time while his Daddy read it for him instead. So this time around, we want to try a better head start. I thought of letting him speak with our karaoke microphones to make it a bit more real (and I was the audience). Of course C loved that idea.

Afterwards, C and J took turns speaking through the mic. Even while I was singing some karaoke songs. They liked to bug me, "my turn, my turn!!!" ("ah-shurn" for J). C would always say something random. J only has one word: "Vector!!!!" They liked the mic so much that I was finally done singing (bathroom style), I let them go for it, taking turns:

C: "Hello, I am C___. And this is my truck and it flies. RAAAAH"
J: "Veeectoooooor!!!!!"
C: "Hello, this is C___ again and that is J_____. He loves trains and I do, too, 60 miles blah blah blah."
J: "Veeectoooooor!!!!!"
C: "I am C_____ and that is Lightning McQueen and he goes around the track and 90 miles."
J: "Veeectoooooor!!!!!"

I loved watching them and it was funny (funnier than how I could tell it here). I don't know what was the deal with Vector anyway. They started saying it a few days after we watched Despicable Me.

J says it the exact same way Vector said his name in the movie (clip below, timestamp 0:30). For those of you who don't know, this is Vector:

Kids do copy things pretty fast, don't they. What are the things your kids copy from the kiddie movies that they've watched?

The Terrible Two's the Second Time Around

J is closing in at turning two years old. But that doesn't mean that he hasn't thrown a tantrum before. In fact, he has. A lot. On a daily basis. Every half an hour. Most of the time he looked too cute we couldn't help our giggles, which was probably DEFINITELY a wrong move. Of course the little guy started to think that it was funny.

And so he kept doing them. We've ignored the tantrums for the most part. "WAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!! BLIBLUBLAHBLAH!!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!" He'd keep going to no avail. (Yes, we left him doing that for 2 hours straight. Of course, not!)

But today was a different day. Although we've only recently started putting him on time-outs [other moms, insert book reference here about the proper age for time-outs], today was one of those days that we had to stand strong to it. It was hard for me to watch it, but he threw a lot of fits today more than usual. My spouse and I were on the same page that it was time to really really REALLY (yes? YES!) implement it.

And time-outs he got.

And in comes the ear-piercing shrieks! Boy was he mad! Someone get me a pair of noise-cancelling headphones! AAAH!!!!

He threw total outrageous fits each time, and screamed his heart out. And then he banged on the door the moment his Dad closed it. (Okay maybe next time we shouldn't close the door). And although this is our second time going through this process, it felt all too foreign and unfamiliar to me all over again. I don't remember at all how C did with time-outs. Did he bang on the door? Not sure. Did he cry his heart out? Oh, well, almost like someone stole his candy. But J - poor kid sounded so sad. I tried my best not to approach him until the 1 1/2 mins. was up. Or even after if it was my Better Half who put them on the time-out. I ALWAYS let their Dad talk to them and soothe them if he's the one who put them on a time-out to avoid making him look like the bad guy.

Aaaanyway... I am looking for something else to AID us in our way of discipling our children. And despite my very sleepy state and my half-way open (or half-way closed?) eyes, I remembered one easy peasy DIY help. Have you seen this on Pinterest?

Time-out Jar
Photo Credit: Hillary
(Click on image to visit the tutorial on how to make this jar)

I have never tried this before. Have you? The idea is the kid (who is on time out) shakes this jar and watches the glitter settle down. It seems it has this magical powers to make the kid calm down as the glitters settle down on the jar. Like some kind of voodoo. Ha!

I feel like I need to get one of my mason jars (okay, maybe three - one more for me and another for Daddy) and find a tiny bucket of glitter from the dollar store NOW. I think I've just found our (me and the little kiddies) craftsie daisie activity next week. (Did I just sound like we do crafts every week?... In my dreams and goals that just seem to never happen, we do). I just hope they won't end up acting like they were hypnotized or something. I wonder if C will pick blue food coloring?

What are your tried and tested tricks to do time-outs? And no, you don't have to be the Supernanny to have had the best disciplining method to your kids, right? Right! Here's to hoping for a more disciplined future generation with time-out jars as our shield!

J's New Words and His Random Things

I love little kiddie babbles. They sound so cute! My second son had just turned 22 months old and has been saying new little cute words CLEARLY.

"Abbawockees" (Jabbawockeez)
"Dud-dee" (Daddy)
"Yeah, yeah!" (In a very excited tone. He got this from his cousin, Max, I think?)
"Amen."
"Wah-yer" (Water)
"Ah-shurn"(My turn)
"Okay."
"Oh, soweee!" (Oh, sorry!)
"Aaaaaaaay" (sounds like "eye" - I say this when they do something bad)
"Ta-tu" (Thank You! - okay, this one's been around for a while now)
"Shoos" (Shoes)

And many others I can't pick out of my brain right now. Also, his favored word between "Mommy" and "Daddy" is the latter. It's always this scenario:

Me: "Can you say Mommy?" (Oh he can say it!)
J: "Duh-dee!"
Me: "No, say Mooommy!"
J: "Duh-Dee!"

... and the cycle goes on. It's pretty hilarious! His older brother did the same when he was this age. That's what I get when they have such an awesome Dad!

Tonight, he tried to copy his older brother by folding his arms and pretending to pray (babbles) - quickly - and said, "Amen." I like how he gets the idea now that we pray to bless our food and at bed time. Also, another thing he's been copying from his brother are the dance moves as evident from this video:

I love watching them grow and being there for them as they go through it as well. I love how they get along so well (with little fights here and there) and that they love playing with each other. I love being a parent to these two totally different but definitely similarly sweet children.

{C's Daily Prayers} - Despicable Me

Thank you for those who read and commented my previous post. Comments make me smile! ^^

I have a journal meant specifically to write down the funny things or sweet things that my kids said. But I keep forgetting to write in it, or sometimes I get caught up with something else. So I thought of making another category/label in this blog called "C's Daily Prayers" and maybe write those prayers down.

C has started saying his prayers (with our help) when he was about two years old. He started saying it on his own by around three-ish. I always meant to write them down in my "things-they-said" journal because they're just the simplest yet sweetest and most expressive prayers ever, and I want to keep those memories. Children are such sweet spirits!

Well, he recently celebrated his 4th birthday (had a great morning with his grandma and his cousins. We were gonna go to Cars Land as a surprise for him but plans changed and we spent his birthday driving home from CA). We let him pick some toys at Target with his grandma's birthday money gift on our way home (she also gave him a Cars puzzles and book gift). Of course, he picked Cars and he was delighted to have new ones. By "new," I mean race cars other than Lightning McQueen and Finn McMissile (spelling?). It's been 4 days since then.

Tonight, after Daddy brushed his teeth, he walked into their room and sat down beside me and just started saying his prayer. I was not quite ready for my thoughts were flying everywhere before he came in, but I immediately wrapped my arms around him as he said..

"Dear Heavenly Father, I am thankful to watch spickable me [Despicable Me]. I am thankful to play with [J]. I am thankful to play with my cousins and friends, [then names two of his cousins]. I am thankful to go to the store and buy new race cars [that one four days ago]. I am thankful for eating brownie [it has blueberries and carrots which they don't know]. I am thankful for Mommy and Daddy. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen."

So sweet. I love hearing him pray. So honest.

P.S. J also prays with us. He knows when it's time. Sometimes he'll keep wriggling before we start it but once we start it, he'll stop. Recently though it's been more obvious. He'd fold his arms, like those cute pictures of little kids folding their arms during prayer. He won't talk, but he'll have his eyes open looking at everyone [okay, mom was peeking at him.. haha!]. And just this week he started saying, "Amen" after every prayer. So cute!

 

The Introvert ME

I haven't blogged in a long time, obviously. Honestly it's because I lost the interest and got lazy because nobody else was reading but my sisters-in-law and my mother-in-law. But considering that my kids still take their naps, the 1.5 - 2.5 hrs. that I am alone was quite long enough to not do anything else but read books and/or write in my journal. So I've decided to try to at least get back into blogging bit by bit.

Well, I got bored [seems like I always am] of my old blog title "Mommy Musings" so I changed it into something more fitting for my personality. Anyone who knew me REALLY well will agree that I am an introvert.

Growing up, I always preferred being with a small circle of friends rather than a huge crowd of acquaintances. I was never fond of going to youth activities in our Church because trying to strike conversations with other youths and socializing was never my favorite thing to do. If it was a youth dance, I was basically a wallflower... all. night. long.

I overcame a bit of my introversion when I left my family and my country to take up my undergraduate degree in BYU-Hawai'i. I was in a strange land with a totally different culture. And though I knew English well enough, I knew I wouldn't last long if I kept on being an introvert. So I made friends. And friends I had but not to the point that all of them were my close friends (unlike someone I know from there, too! She's a sweetheart!) I had a handful of really close friends prior to being a "Mrs." - 3 of them exactly. The rest I knew because it was a small University and you almost know everyone there. And when the 3 close friends left and moved on (one got married, the other two went on their missions for our Church), I struggled to find new close friends. So I just remained FRIENDS with everybody else I knew. It didn't matter that I didn't hung-out with them like the way I did with my three friends. It was good enough for me that I was not keeping to myself so much anymore.

But an event in my life happened and ... I lost that trust in friends. So now I am back to my introversion again. And ever since we had our firstborn, it seemed like I really just preferred being by myself and with our boys rather than arranging a playdate and trying to be sociable, or trying to make friends all over again. I was happy in my own thoughts most of the time, and just playing with my kids. Heck, even my husband and I don't talk much after the kids go down to bed because I don't talk even though my brain was exploding with ideas of things to do, or to talk about, or just random thoughts [and he likes my silence sometimes so he could "watch" some baseball games in peace.. haha!]

I am not saying I am a snob. No. I don't even mean to be one if I come across as such. I like talking to people. But almost ALWAYS I will not be the first one to strike a conversation. It's like a stage freight for me. Sometimes I could do it, sometimes I couldn't. I realized that more when I became a mother. I am so quiet you could almost say I'm a snob. But once someone talks to me, I talk to them like I wasn't ever shy at all.

So, yes. After decades of thinking that I am probably just shy, I've finally come to accept that this is me. I am an introvert who likes to chatter away by writing!

When I was trying to come up with a new title for this blog (and it might still change), I wanted to add the word "introvert" because you wouldn't know I am one by just reading this blog. I chatter so much in my blogs and journals. So I decided to google the definition of the word to see if it is really my personality.

Here's a couple:

• What is an introvert?
• 10 Myths About Introverts

And just for fun... are you an introvert or extrovert? Take the quiz and see! 

And lastly, my boys today, doing what boys do best - BEING BOYS! They love playing with each other. And no, my little J (the baby on upper shelf) is 2 years, 2 months, and 2 days younger than C (the kid on the lower shelf) even though he doesn't look like it in this picture. He's so big! I love them both.

Total Opposite

I really feel J was born to balance my motherhood life. C gave me such an easy time (except when it comes to feeding him) when it was just him. I really think J is born to give me some more experience in this parenthood thing and take me out of my bubble ("I have such an easy life as a parent because my son is so easy-going.") J is not that much of a troublemaker, but he's been the total opposite of his older brother. Except for one thing - sleeping through the night at 2 1/2 months old (C did it at 2 months old). And by sleeping through the night, I mean from 8pm - 5am. It was probably around 3-ish month old for both of them before they started sleeping 'til the sun was out (say 8pm-7am). That was one common thing they had. But everything else is different.

Okay, I'm not comparing them at all. I'm just seeing their differences and I really like it. I like how they have such different personalities and yet get along so well. Like all siblings, they fight most of the time. But they play with each other more.

So I took J to his 18th month wellness checkup today (it was an annoying long wait, by the way, but I'll post the details in our family blog). C was always easy to talk to with these kind of things once he was older than 8 months old. If you told him don't move, he won't move. But with J, no. Oh no. He just kept wiggling that finger that gave his vital whatever to the device that was clamped onto it. The nurse tried to take his oxygen through his foot instead. He wiggled that part, including his toes, and wiggled it 'til she gave up and took the device off. When it came to taking his weight and height, she didn't take us to where you lie the baby down and they measure the height (they don't have such a device!) and on another one for the weight. It was the usual grown-up way of standing up and they move the thingies around the rulers 'til they balance out (I feel so dumb not remembering what it's called). So naturally, he wanted to get off the shaky pad. I had to kneel in front of him on the floor and let him cuddle with me 'til the nurse got his right weight. With his height, I had to show him the numbers in front of him (he's into numbers and letters lately) and it was enough to keep him occupied to get his height.

When the doctor finally came in to check on him, J struggled for a bit when the doctor needed to check his ears. Then he wouldn't open his mouth. "Stick your tongue out like this and open your mouth," the doctor said. As if my 18 month old understood what that means. He did stick out his tongue, trying to imitate us. But he didn't open his mouth. I don't know if he's purposely doing the exact opposite of what we needed him to do but he is such a boy!

Here are some other things he did differently from his older brother:

• Drinking from a bottle very early (C refused bottles until 11 months old)
• Eating solid foods for the first time easily (C pushed them out of his mouth all the time)
• Transitioning to a sippy cup quickly (C didn't like most of the sippy cups I tried when he just barely got used to the bottle)
• Eating REAL solid foods and not being too picky (C is really picky. He's still picky right now but it's been lessened a bit).
• Opening kitchen cabinets, taking books out of the bookshelf multiple times, climbing up on the kitchen table and chairs, etc. no matter how many times we said no (We never had to put fence around our tv set when we just had C, or hide our dvd rack, because he never touched them after we said 'no' for like less than 10 times in spread out in different days)

Oh J, you complete my life with so much more fun! Thanks for spicing things up a bit. I love you tons!

My Message for You

... through a song ...

Dear C and J,

This song is for both of you from me, your Mommy. I know you're still young and are still oblivious to the dangers and heart aches of this world. I love how your world now in your own minds is just so peaceful and wonderful - and that the only heartaches you get is when Mommy or Daddy said "No." or when the other sibling stole the toy you were playing with.

But someday you will lose that innocence and will get hurt and feel pain. You will grow up and see the world as adults. Maybe as teens first, of course, but on the way to adulthood. When that time comes, when your own wonderland leaves your life, remember I am here for both of you. I will always be here, either close by (as long as you want me to) or far away (if you want me to keep my distance from you, but will still be looking after you from afar). You are my most precious treasures, the greatest gifts I have ever received. I'll always "stand by you." I love you both!

Oh, why you look so sad?

The tears are in our eyes.

Come on and talk to me now.

Don't be ashamed to cry

Let me see you through

'Cause I've seen the dark side too.

When the night falls on you,

And you don't know what to do,

Nothing you confess

Can make me love you less.

I'll stand by you,

I'll stand by you,

Won't let nobody hurt you,

I'll stand by you.

So, if you're mad, get mad.

Don't hold it all inside,

Come on and talk to me now.

Hey, what you've got to hide?

I get angry too.

Well, I'm a lot like you.

When you're standing at the crossroads

And you don't know which path to choose,

Let me come along

'Cause even if you're wrong

I'll stand by you.

I'll stand by you.

Won't let nobody hurt you,

I'll stand by you.

Take me in into your darkest hour,

And I'll never desert you,

I'll stand by you.

And when, when the night falls on you baby,

You're feeling all alone.

You won't be on your own.

I'll stand by you,

I'll stand by you.

Won't let nobody hurt you,

I'll stand by you.

Take me in into your darkest hour,

And I'll never desert you,

I'll stand by you.

Oh I'll stand by you.

I'll stand by you.

Thank-You Cards

J turned one a little less than two months ago. His birthday was celebrated MUCH MUCH simpler than his older brother's first birthday. But the feeling's the same - we, as his parents, are happy and blessed to have him in our lives. He brings us so much joy and happiness everyday.

His awesome relatives didn't forget him on his birthday, though, despite the simplicity of his birthday celebration. My in-laws helped us with his birthday cake, and sent him some gifts, too. So did his cousins from my sister-in-law, and his great-grandfather (my mother-in-law's father). 

I haven't crafted in a long time, but I figured I wouldn't let this one pass without a thank-you note to all of them, for remembering our boy on his special day. So here they are:

For my in-laws.

For J's great-grandpa.

And for his cousins.

I tried hard to think that day on how to make them look great, but nothing came up in my mind. I guess I am out of practice. I made the butterfly one first, then the yellow card, and last the one with the bunting. The butterfly one wasn't actually blue/turquoise at first. The original card blended great with the red color, but as soon as I finished making it, I accidentally put my stamp pad upside down (which was open) on top of the card, and I didn't have anymore extra of the same color to use, so it became turquoise.

Making these in one day was therapeutic to me (it takes me hours to come up with a template/layout because I'm a visual person when it comes to things like this. I have to take all my things out and lay them out in front of me to see if this color goes with that, etc.). My husband even took the kids out to the park when they got up from their naps that day, so I could finish the second one I was working on then (the yellow one on the very top).

I love my family from my husband's side. They are really involved with us and our kids. I need to be better in sending out cards on special occasions just like they did for us.

Last Year: A Birth Story

OUR DUE DATE

I went to the salon to get a haircut. I had long hair and I wanted it gone. The lady at the salon was surprised at my response to her question, "when are you due?" I said I was due to give birth that day.

That night, I felt some mild contractions but didn't think too much about it. I went to bed at 10:00 pm to make sure I could get some sleep (one I didn't get with our first child because I went in labor right after I folded our clothes at 10:00 pm). 

THE BIG DAY

At around 2:00am, I was awoken to painful cramps on my belly. I still thought it was false labor so I stuck it out. With our first, I had some spotting at home, and my water bag broke at about 6 cm. dilation (we were already at the hospital and was preparing to get an epidural). So I was waiting for one of those two things with our second baby. I didn't time it anymore because I could tell it was consistent and the pain was increasing.

I decided to take a shower with hopes that it will alleviate the pain a little bit. It was 3:00 am. Everybody was still sleeping (our son, my sister, and YES my husband who was even snoring in bed). I was trying to deal with the pain as quietly as I could because I didn't want to wake up our little guy. The shower definitely helped. 

At 4:00 am, I decided it's time to disturb my husband. I tried to lie down to get some sleep. It was really painful but I haven't had any spotting yet so I thought I was probably just at 3 or 4 cm. I was groaning silently here and there and that woke my husband up. I told him, "yeah I'm definitely in labor." I asked him to blow up our big bouncy ball. Poor guy was still so sleepy when he was pumping some air into that ball. I tried to use it but to no comfort at all. So I just did what I've been doing all along without the ball. I told my husband the contractions were definitely more frequent and more painful with only a few seconds of interval in between. The funny thing was, he asked me to tell him when to take a shower before we go to the hospital. I was in labor (yeah, great excuse, right?) and I thought, "Oh yeah he'll take a shower right when I want to go" so I snapped and told him, "take it now!" It was funny - just like the movies!

At around 4:30 am, I called the hospital and the nurse told me to wait it out.

"Go take a shower."

"I already did that."

"Have you had any spotting yet?"

"No, but I'm telling you it's really painful and more frequent."

"Well, just wait it out, see if it still goes or not."

Sad, huh! She wouldn't listen to me! So I waited (painfully) 'til 6:00 am, dealing with the pain as quietly as I could (yeah, I was groaning with my face down flat on our mattress). 

At 6:10 am, I told Jesse we have to go. It was really painful but I could still bear it but I wanted to be around some people who knew what to do just in case I was ready to deliver. The hospital was just 15-20 mins. away but it felt like forever. The passenger seat was one of the most uncomfortable place any woman in labor could ever be in. 

We parked quite close to the entrance of the building but it seemed like it took us forever to get there (I had really painful contractions every 10 seconds or so - or at least that's how it felt like because I've only made 5 or 10 steps and another contraction was there). There wasn't anybody at the reception area so we used the phone (there was a note saying to call them) and an Indian nurse came out. She was so calm and taking things VERY SLOWLY! She didn't even put me in a wheelchair! I walked the whole way to the delivery room - I felt like I couldn't walk anymore. As soon as we entered the room, I told her I want an epidural (very wrong decision!).

I changed my clothes and she was still taking things slowly. It was around 6:40 am. She measured me and you can tell in her voice that she freaked out a bit when she said, "Oh! You're 8 1/2 cm. dilated!" Both my husband and I were like, "what?!?" Haha! I asked her if it was too late for the epidural (that's what I thought) and she said she'll see what the anesthesiologist will say because he's on his way. But he didn't say anything. By the time he arrived, I was probably more than 8 1/2 cm. I seriously think he just wanted to get paid. One of the things I hated while waiting for him was signing some paperwork in-between and during my contractions. I mean, come on! WOMAN IN LABOR HERE! And the nurse who answered my call earlier was there and introduced herself to me, "I was the one who answered your call." I thought to my head, "Oh yeah! Well so much for not believing I am in labor, huh!"

After 5 painful tries, the anesthesiologist finally got the epidural in (the first 3 were "wrong" pokes and the 4th one was right but the catheter broke so he had to remove it and do it again). It was literally painful!!! I seriously thought it was more painful than my contractions. I was crying without any sound, just tears flowing endlessly down my face. I know he could've done better. The anesthesiologist who gave it to me with our first baby did it only in one strike, and I wasn't even as steady as I was with our second baby. When I was getting an epidural with our first baby, the nurse didn't even help me sit still (that's when my water bag broke). But with our second child, our Indian nurse helped me stay still (and I was) and that guy had to poke me 5 times!!! The only thing I hate about epidurals is that it hurts my back so bad after a few hours of delivering the baby (and goes on for weeks) and it makes my labor a lot slower.

At 9:30am, they broke my water bag with hopes to speed things up. It's one of the things I hated. What's the rush? I wasn't in any risky situation, he wasn't tangled, blah blah blah. The baby will come when he wants. No need to break my bag. But I didn't say anything.

We thought we were going to have a different ob/gyn for my delivery because my ob/gyn was going to go camping with her husband and his family that day for a week. At 9:45am, she popped through the door. We were glad to have OUR ob/gyn there. At 10:00 am, I started pushing. I was so numb (more numb than I was with our first) that I couldn't feel where to push. With our first, I at least felt where it's supposed to be. It took me 30 mins. to push J out (10 mins. with our first). I'm glad she tried everything to avoid giving me an episiotomy. 

At 10:30 am, our 8 lbs. 6 oz. and 20 inches baby joined our little family with a big cry.

HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY LITTLE FELLA! It's been a fun journey with you in our family. 

Day After: Park & New Craft Table

Yesterday, the day after I quit my game, was interesting. It was hard at the start of the day not having my tool for social life. I was bored to death when the kids took a nap. I called it "going through withdrawals." :P I wasn't bored when they were awake. I've always loved watching them play and have a little bit of rivalry every now and then. But when they went down for a nap, I was dreadfully bored. But quitting the game was liberating - in the sense that, even though my mind still wandered through leveling a player, it immediately remembered it's OVER. Then brain actually started relaxing a bit more throughout the day than when I played the game.

The entire afternoon was kind of depressing because I was bored. I think I was also affected a little bit by the depressing mood of the book that I've been reading. It's a great book, I was just at the part where she was really depressed, the parts where two of her kids didn't want to see her (Stephanie Nielson's "Heaven is Here"). So I think that sort of affected my mood for the day.

But as soon as the kids woke up again at 3:00 pm (usually the time I put them down for a nap), we played a little bit more inside the house and had some snacks until it was cool enough to go outside and play. It was 5:00 pm and play they did! There were barely anyone at the park. I don't know if it was the heat or because school is about to start. But we had the park for ourselves. C totally loved running through the sprinklers and showers. J was so curious about the doves and birds that were eating the crumbs of his snacks that I threw on the grass.

Earlier that day, Jesse told me that my craft table had shipped to the nearby Walmart store we picked out to pick it up from. So I was excited, and my gloomy mood was lifted. I had asked him to pick us up at the park on his way home from work because I just didn't feel like walking back home in the heat. Just as he arrived to pick us up (with my table in the trunk), the ice cream truck just arrived as well. I was as much excited as C was, but we didn't have cash so Jesse just bought one for C using some of the change we had in our car. He was messy but happy. I let him run around the sprinklers one more time to wash the sticky stuff off of him, then we went home.

Look at those red cheeks! So cute! J loved being in the swing. He didn't like having his shoes on, though.

That night, we had a fun time at dinner. So lately every dinner, Jesse reads some chapters of Joshua from the Bible to us. Usually it was always only when C is still the only one left eating. But the scenario is always the same. When Jesse stops talking, the kids stop talking. As soon as Jesse uttered one word, either J or C will start talking to each other, blowing raspberries in the air, and yelling "AAAAAAAH!!!!" It was funny! I couldn't help but laugh last night at the scene. Next time, maybe tonight, I'll take a video for good time's sake when they grow up.

Jesse and C went upstairs as soon as the reading was done, and I stayed downstairs doing the dishes while J ran around the living room and kitchen with assortment of toys in his hands. He's just the cutest little toddler. He's still wobbly when he walks even though it's been a month since he started walking. I stayed downstairs a little longer to wait for Jesse to finish up with the table (I didn't want J to bother him) but it was getting late so we put J down to bed.

C was "helping" his dad put my craft table together. He was basically just playing with the styrofoams, putting them on top of each other, and singing "Bob the Builder, can we fix it! Bob the builder, yes we can!" And he can sing the whole song (with some words missing, of course). So cute! I should have taken a video of it.

It was kind of late than the usual bedtime for C but he wanted to stay up as long as we were putting the table together. He went to bed right away after we finished at 10:00 pm. Now I'm ready to stack it up with my craft things. 

I promised myself, even before I gave birth with C in Hawai'i, that this hobby won't take over my time for my children. Even blogging is only done when they're taking a nap (like now). Besides, I can barely make anything anyway if they were awake. Haha! I can't wait to see what things I can make again. Oooh, and I want to learn how to sew next (when we have a little bit more budget to buy a sewing machine in the next few years).

My craft table. Printer will be taken out as soon as we find a cheap table for it from the thrift stores. I think Jesse was just as happy as I was when we were putting it together last night. He even asked if I was sure I wanted the printer there because it's my CRAFT table. :P So sweet!

Simple Joy

It was a little bit right after lunch. I was lying down on our couch reading a book given to me by my mother-in-law as a birthday gift. My kids were playing with (and against) each other. Once in a while I had to look up from my book and tell C to stop roughhousing with his little brother. Yes, J can complain now with a loud squeal.

C's pretty good with truck noises. I was in another world, and so was C (making up stories about his trains falling off a cliff). J was busy nibbling on each toy, and banging them on the floor or on another toy. And then there it was - a truck sound. It pulled over right in front of our house. C immediately came back to the real world. He looks through the window and says, "Mommy, it's a tow truck! I wanna see the tow truck!" So I opened the door, and he was very eager to go outside to look at this tow truck. It was unloading a car right by our neighbor's house. Double points! C was so happy! This guy just loves anything with wheels. And the tow truck driver (AAA company) was smiling at us, seeing that he has a big fan of trucks watching him unload a car.

I'm pretty sure the garbage men in our previous residence are missing my little man. Now nobody watches them load trash and garbage in their truck when they're in our little street.

Happyness and Joy

Yes, I am alive!!! That was a loooong break for me, wasn't it? Anyway...

I love being a mom as much as I love being a wife to my very handsome accountant. Being a mother (or, rather, a parent) is very tiring and challenging. But the hard part of being a parent is often times (if not always) overcome by happYness and joy.

Our children are still young and so innocent. I love the ages they are in right now. C likes to ask questions now, "Mommy, what you doing?" He also likes to correct us if we wrongfully described something ("No, that's not a truck, it's a dump truck!") He still likes to help out, bully his little brother every now and then, and what have you for a toddler. He still loves to cuddle with us on our bed when he wakes up in the morning. He understands a little bit of Tagalog now. Yay!!!

J is growing up so fast. He just turned 9 months old. Where did the time go? He likes to laugh out loud especially during his baths. He takes baths together with his "kuya" (older brother). He loves to crawl around and pull himself up to a stand. He'll cruise around our couch back and forth, and sometimes he'll try his limit and let go for a second (then lands on his butt on the floor). He loves to eat. He eats anything! Which we love, by the way (C is still a picky eater). He likes to say "mama" now and any other vowel-consonant sounds he could come up with, especially when he's really focused on a toy he's playing with.

I love being a wife to my man and being a mother to these two boys, especially on days when I could see and hear this:

Good Foundation

We've recently "RECLAIMED" our Macbook laptop from the nursery room. J has been using it to listen to some music while he slept (ever since he was 2 months old) when we moved him to his own bedroom. It was great and he started sleeping through the night at 2 1/2 months old. I've been planning to get the laptop back, though. I prefer our laptop over our desktop when I edit our photos. We tried getting it back using an iPod hooked to a portable speaker instead - the free iPod I got from my college graduation. But that iPod, in two consecutive nights, decided to freeze while on repeat in the middle of the night and it always ruined everybody's sleep. I thought of doing the electric fans but it was too cold to turn on a fan that strong in his room back then. The "fart fan" (I don't know what else to call it) in the bathroom next to his bedroom didn't work in putting him to sleep either.

When my husband suggested last weekend to try to claim our Mac back again by using one of our electric fans as white noise, I was kind of skeptical. But it worked, just like how it did with C. J still sleeps through the night.

So I had that laptop downstairs today in the kitchen to listen to some music while we were having lunch. I was playing some Primary songs that I gathered from Grooveshark. As I was making C's lunch (and J was busy drinking his bottle of formula), the "Book of Mormon Stories" song played and you know how it always ends - "righteously."

I listened to the whole song while I was lathering C's bread with peanut butter and grape jelly and I thought to myself, "I am so blessed to be able to raise our children in the gospel." I just had this thought that most children in the world knows, you know, nursery rhymes and what-not. Some of those songs teach good things, and some are just for pure rhymes and fun stories. But my children, aside from learning nursery rhymes, can also learn Primary songs that teaches them about our Heavenly Father and His Son Jesus Christ, and how to listen to the prophets and apostles, and how to live righteously. At their young age, they are already having a good foundation that they will need in their lives through the Primary songs and the things they learn at church and at our home (I need to do better). I just feel so blessed that they are being raised in the gospel in this world where sacred things are slowly but seriously being taken for granted - physical bodies, procreation, & marriage as examples. (I'm still drafting a post about that and I don't know if I want to post it, but maybe I will).

Kung Zhu Pets

One day my Dad hitched a ride with his old friend, Jun, on his way to Las Vegas to take his mom to the doctor. My dad always tries to catch a ride with "tito" Jun (tito means uncle but he's not really my uncle. It's just how we call older people that someone we know knows) whenever he takes his mom to the hospital here in Las Vegas. They're from Provo and I don't know why she always goes here in Vegas but I don't ask.

Anyway, in one of those trips, my dad bought Kung Zhu pets for C and J. I didn't know what it was. And C was in the middle of being potty trained so we didn't open his (J's Kung Zhu box was smaller).

Today, though, C was taking his box all around the living room. I was trying to save it for his birthday but since it's been a while that it's just been hanging around the living room, I opened it. Assembled it. C even tried to help. I love it whenever he tries to help when we're assembling something - a toy, a furniture, etc. It's cute.

Anyway, so when it was finally done, this is how it looked:

In the instructions it said to put the flags at the sides of the "gate." Anyway, so when we were done, C was looking for the ninja hamsters (they're supposed to be ninja hamsters). But it's sold separately. I didn't care much about them and he was fine when I gave him the idea of just using his toy cars instead. It kept him busy the whole morning.

But during their nap time (my computer time), I was looking through some blog posts and so I came across my friend's good deals on 2 websites. So I started browsing those sites for some clearance stuff (just for fun) and I stumbled upon the Kung Zhu pets in ToysRUs. I thought the Kung Zhu pets were lame toys. If they were at ToysRUs, they're probably not. I became curious so I checked them out on Youtube.

I just think they're fun. I'm pretty sure C will have fun if we had the hamsters. Now it makes me want to grab 1 or 2 hamsters. At least we don't have to feed them, right?

PS. Happy leap day! To celebrate that leap day, J had 3 pokes today (immunizations). He's 19 lbs (75%) and 28 inches (97%) now. He cried for a bit but then he was okay right away - until we got home. He didn't stop crying until I nursed him to sleep.

Big "This Too Shall Pass" Moments {Potty Training}

I can't imagine how many times I've said that to myself my whole life - well, not really my whole life. It was ever since I left home and my family behind to go to school to a foreign country. The first big "this too shall pass" moment I had were each birthdays and Christmas every year for 7 years (and counting) that I was away from home. I had to tell myself that "this too shall pass" whenever I was homesick and wanted to be with my family. Of course, being homesick (especially during Christmas time) never gets old. But I could at least handle it fairly well and better now than I did before.

The second "this too shall pass" moment was the first several months of C's life. I've said "this too shall pass" so many times with regards to sleepless nights the first two months, painful nursing the first 6 weeks, and inconvenient breastfeeding the whole 15 months. When J was born, I had those exact same baby blue feelings I did with C (although nursing was easier with J) and had that 4-word phrase in my head every single minute of every single day. Because I know it's true - it shall pass. It was just temporary and I must stay positive no matter how exhausting it was.

The third is... potty training. Okay so this blog post is really just about whining with a tiny twist of trying to be positive. So last weekend, I faced the one thing I didn't want to face in my life (besides the first month of a newborn babe), and that is potty training. I miss my husband right now. I think my decision to start it on a weekend (instead of a weekday) was right because my husband was a BIG BIG BIG HELP to me. He was really good at staying positive and he keeps encouraging C no matter how many accidents we've had in the first morning alone.

Click image to see reviews from Amazon.com

I will spare you the details of his potty training, but C made a huge improvement on the first 6 hours of his first day of potty training. It's not really hard to train him. But I guess my "this too shall pass" moment is how hard it is right now because he can't get on the toilet on his own. And the many accidents (which I already expected) and constant washing of his sheets. And the fact that I have to keep an eye on him constantly while taking care of J. C's stupid toilet seat slides around and the pee guard is no use. We didn't know it was the worst consumer rated toilet seat until we checked it online (Amazon) on the first night of potty training C. I've thought many times to get him a potty seat where he can go on his own without our help because I know he will. He tries with his toilet seat but it's just hard for him to get on it, so I guess that's why he's not motivated enough to go by himself although he knows that that's what he needs to do. But then again, I thought it would be so much easier for all of us in the long run if he gets used to using the toilet right away and not have to transition him from a potty to a toilet.

Another thought I had was to slap some pull-ups on him during nap times and bedtimes. But again, I THINK (I am no expert, obviously, because this is my first time) it would only delay getting him fully potty trained. So for now I am sticking to our method and will just keep telling myself, "this too shall pass" even though I haven't had any good sleep since we started training him (J decided to wake up at 5 am since yesterday morning, especially if he rolled over). If only I had enough sleep, it would make the world so much better!

I know there are a lot harder challenges out there where this phrase, "this too shall pass" is more applicable. I admit, potty training him could be worse. But for right now, this is MY "this too shall pass" moment because I'm just a whiny person. One thing I would change in the future is to potty train J first before deciding to have another baby.

Sorry this post doesn't have a single picture in it, besides potty seat he has. I have a couple of photos in my camera but I'm just too lazy to upload it. Besides, C's right next to me watching his playlist in Youtube while I'm writing this so we can run to the toilet anytime he needs to go.

Overwhelming...

I have been pretty overwhelmed lately... just a little bit. As a stay-home mom, I feel like most of the pressure is on me to do these things because I'm the one who's constantly with our boys. Well, the things that overwhelms me lately are the thoughts of potty training, raising bilingual children, and starting our second child with solid foods.

I've put it off for a long time now but it's time to potty train our son. He's been a really good kid and was really easy to take care of ever since he was born but, of course, I haven't seen everything yet. Who knows how we will both handle potty training? But it has to be done... {sigh}. Just another sign that he's growing up and I can't stop it.

Second on the list is raising bilingual children. I did a pretty good job starting our first son with my language (Tagalog) when he was a baby. But ever since we left his birth place (and our friends who spoke my language), English automatically came out of my mouth whenever I talked to him. It was just weird for me to speak to him in Tagalog in a non-Tagalog speaking country.

But this year, I am trying really really HARD to talk to our sons in my language. My husband speaks it, too, but he thinks it's better if I am the MAIN one who speaks it to them because he's not sure if he was doing it good enough. Well.. I'm telling you, he's really good! No kidding! You can't tell that it's an American who's speaking Tagalog if you listen to him with your eyes closed. Seriously. (Don't blush, beb). I started this year good enough with regards to this bilingual thing. But at the beginning of each new day, English comes out of my mouth automatically. Then I revert back and forth to both languages the whole day (each time I spoke English automatically, I always continue to speak in Tagalog). It's frustrating because our first son only understands English (and I bet some Tagalog), and he's trying really hard to understand me when I speak to him in Tagalog. There are days that he's just not into it and he'll 'command' me to stop my Tagalog by being stern with his, "NO!" Well, at least I got to teach him to count 1 to 3 in Tagalog (he knows how to count 'til 20 in English). I just have to keep reminding myself to make it as fun as I can.

Another thing that's frustrating about that is that if I want to talk to him during potty training, I have to speak in English to take a little pressure off of both of us during the whole process. But I have to speak Tagalog exclusively to him if he were to learn the language (it's easiest to learn a new language when they're still young). Aah! What to do.

Grabbed from Google images

Third, starting solid foods. I don't mind it, really. I'm actually excited. Our second son is turning five months this month and it was about this age when we started his "kuya" (older brother) with rice cereal. The only thing that gets me overwhelmed thinking about it is the timing. Potty training a toddler while introducing solid foods to an infant requires lots and lots and LOTS of patience. I don't know how much I have in my patience bank.

Oh well... time to stock up on pair of hand gloves, disinfecting wipes/spray, and some big boy underwear!